My best friend recently lost her younger brother, he committed suicide in June of this year. Obviously the pain is still fresh and she and her family are still trying to move on with their lives. Her family has never lost a loved one, especially like this. (He was run over by the train) Well, I am really worried about my friend. I've watched a once vibrant, creative, and loving young lady vanish, and in turn, she's more quiet, depressed, and seemingly lonely than I've ever seen her and I've been knowing her since we were about 8 years old. It's as though her entire world has come crashing down on her and her support system is no where to be found. The thing that really bothers me about this situation is that the church that she worships at didn't do or say anything to her. (I told her a long time ago that she'd outgrown this church, but she stayed for personal reasons I guess). She's been a faithful member of this church for almost 10 years. The members know her as well as her family. Yet and still, no support was given. My issue is that the pastor didn't offer this young lady any words of encouragement. I watched as she sat in his office with tears in her eyes and all he said to her was "keep doing what you know to do." then he walked away as if that was suppose to sustain her. I understand that we aren't to look to man for things, but rather to God; this is her church "family" as they like to call themselves. The least they could have done was give this woman some tangible support, let her know that they are here for her if she needs them. The part that really aggitated my spirit was when two members from the pastoral staff came to her home (this happened a week or so after her brother passed and it only happened because someone pointed out to them that it was a shame that no one went by the house to check on her and her family) they spoke with my friend and her parents and told my friend to go to the church and fill out an application so that the church could pay other bills so that her parents would have extra funds for the burial and whatever else they needed. My friend did exactly as she was told but these people denied her application simply because her parents are not members of their church. To me, that doesn't make any sense. They came to this young lady, told her what to do, knowing that she is the only one in her household that fellowships at that church, then had the audacity to deny her. For what? Because her parents don't attend the church? That's odd to me seeing as how they are always saying that they are family and family looks out for one another no matter what. She simply did what she was told. Anyway, she doesn't seem to take issue with that, so I don't mention it to her. I'm worried about her though, these last few weeks have been so hard on her, I think she feels like, other than her family, she has no one she can lean on, no one she can confide in, no one she can talk to. I don't know what else to do, I can't even get in touch with her, she doesn't answer her phone, return e-mails, faxes, or anything. I pray for her, but sometimes I feel like I should do more than just pray. I haven't seen her in a week, the times I do see her, she looks depressed and deeply troubled. She won't ever admit to it, but I think that her church family hurt her, which in my opinion, it is okay for her to feel that way but I know she knows that sometimes, people will fail us and that's why she doesn't make it a big deal. I think she just expected them to react a different way, heck, I even expected them to react differently than what they did. Is there any advice you can give me on dealing with her in this situation? This hurts me as she is more than just a friend to me but a sister, my sister. She's always been there for me and I just want to return the kindness. I would really appreciate your help. Thank you all and have a great morning!
Respectfully,
Miss Lisa
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