PND still???

Question

I was diagnosed with PND when my daughter was 2 weeks old i was put on medication and at about 3 months i weaned myself off and thought i was fine but since then my moods go up and down like a rollercoaster, i find i am very bored and a little disheartened with life at times, some days i feel very overwhelmed with just the day to day runnings of life, my s*x drive goes from non-existant to hypo within a week, i almost envy the fact that my partner gets to go to work every day, i love my daughter more than life but there are days when i just dont want to be a mum and days wheni get really frustrated with her ( i would NEVER hurt her). Do i sound PN or do you think this is just NORMAL for alot of other mums?????

Please dont think i am a bad mother i love my daughter soooo much and would never do anything to hurt her....

Answer 1

sounds to me that you do. ive had depression since i was 14 and i eventually were able to cope with it without medication until my son was 3 months old when i realised i had depression again. now its at the point that i cant live without them. i can for a couple of months, then i go down hill again. it is normal to end up being constantly on medication with depression after you have a baby as depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain and soon as though your body went through a big ordeal, its possible that you don't have that chemical balance anymore. it may take a while until you find the right one that suits you. just remember to read the side affects so that if you start putting on alot of weight and its a side affect, go back to the doc straight away and get another lot of antidepressants.

good luck

Answer 2

Wow, that was me too, still a little now and my girl is 20 months nearly. I was depressed before I gave birth too.

It does sound like PND. Speak to your health visitor (if british) not sure about who you would speak to if in USA but doctor maybe a good place to start. Weaning yourself off the meds may not have helped unless it was with help from your doc. It takes at least 6 months until you should come off anti-depressants, so maybe you didn;t give them enough of a chance. It is frustrating but you are not alone. Please seek advice before you feel it spiral out of control, as it did for me on a few occassions. Good Luck.

EDIT, just read the first post, I agree with most but PLEASE do not take any meds even if you were on the before without the advice from your doctor. They made need to re-assess you - blood pressure and mental state before you go back on meds - they may change them, or change the dose. Plus you are not a bad mother, none of this is your fault

Answer 3

You are not a bad mother- you do however need to be on some sort of medication. It will help you out so much with the frustration and stress of being a SAHM and pretty much being the sole provider for your child and the home. I also had PND and when i took myself off the medication i fell right back into it... I was on the medication for over a year before i was ready to be weaned. If you have any of the medication left go ahead and take it again. Then go to the dr and get more refills.

Answer 4

As Charli said, you may have weaned yourself too early, I stayed on mine for 12 months and then still have trouble now and it is nearly 10 months since I came off the drugs (I was on 20mg of aropax once a day, so only a small dose), and I still miss the feeling of being stable and even tempered. Some people's brain chemistry just doesn't handle the chemical changes in pregnancy and after (mine especially). Sometimes I cry when my partner goes out to work, especially when I have had a very hard day with my two kids (one just started kindy, got conjunctivitis, so is now home until it clears, waaah, there goes my afternoons again, lol). I would never hurt my kids either but when you are having an AAAHHHH screamy la la moment and want time away to calm down without children after you it can be very mentally taxing.

You sound just like me what I had my daughter, second guessing myself, not being totally sure of your decisions............guess what Hun you are a parent, no kid comes with a manual, no parent is perfect (and the ones that say they are, are lying!!). Try not to second guess yourself and if you really think that you aren't coping mentally go and see your Doctor, or even make an appointment with a social worker or counsellor to talk it out. Honey you are doing the best you can...........that is tremendous, especially compared to the way some parents treat their kids!!

Answer 5

That does sound like PND. You really need to be back on the meds darl & no I dont think you're being a bad mother. Please don't think like that.

I had PND after my first two

It was about 5 months for the first one & 18 months for my second one. Everyone copes differently.

It's truly ok to ring parent helpline or other parenting advice lines - that certainly doesnt mean you're a bad mum either. Everyone needs a little help sometimes.

xoxo

Answer 6

I am not at all certain what PND is.  I am guessing that it is Post Natal Depression  what I know as Postpartum Depression.  Honey, welcome to motherhood.  Staying at home with babies isn't easy.  Everyone else seems to have a life while you probably feel as if you are living in a spit-up encrusted h**l.  You don't sound as if you are depressed to me.  You sound like you are dealing with a normal, real major life transition.  It is very normal to get frustrated with a new baby.  That doesn’t signify an instable mood.  It sounds like a normal new mother who is going with lack of sleep, lack of adult social time, lack of everything.  You gave birth and your life immediately revolved around someone else.  Everything you are feeling is normal.  Popping a pill isn’t going to change the fact that your life has been changed forever.  Are you are seriously depressed and wishing for death or want to harm yourself and or your child?  If you answered no, then you are just dealing with normal new mommy emotions.  It is OK to have mood swings, it is OK for your s*x drive to have swings, it is OK to be frustrated with everything.  Your body, life, home and everything has been thrown into complete chaos.  It takes time to adjust to all of the changes.   I have been through this 4 times over and have watched many of my friends go through it as well.  

Pretty soon you will have the hang of it all.  You will develop your own routine as you adjust to your baby’s.  Babies are amazing gifts from God.  They are also amazing gifts that you sometimes wonder about the return policy.  We all have felt like playing find the stud in the wall with our heads at least once after the new baby.  Anyone that tells you otherwise, either hasn’t given birth and stayed home with that baby or is just plain full of it.  

When you are pregnant, you are basically on a hormone high.  Your hormone level is way, way up.  All of a sudden you give birth and that level plummets.  It falls even quicker if you aren’t breast feeding.  On top of your hormone level dropping out on you, your life has been thrown into a spin cycle.  Let us not forget that our body isn’t what we want it to be at this point.  You are tired all of the time.  You rarely get to leave the house.  You are alone but not really ever alone.  There is so much  to get used to and some people expect you to deal with all of this without batting an eyelash and if you don’t than you should pop a pill.

It is also hard to feel s**y after you have a baby.  Partly because of the hormone issue, partly because you are self conscience about your body and partly because you are exhausted.  If you are self conscience don’t be.  Most men will still want s*x with their partner after she has been slaving away with yard work in 100 degree heat, desperately needs a shower and hasn’t shaved in over a week.  Not to say that you should go through life sweaty, smelly and hairy.  

The only advice I am going to offer you is something that was told to me at my baby shower by a 85 year old grandmother who had 9 children of her own.  Get up every day.  That doesn’t mean wake up.  Get out of your pajamas, shower, do your hair and make-up.  Wear something that you feel pretty in.  I know that it seems pointless to get dressed nice or do your hair and make-up if you are going to be sitting in your house all day.  If you don’t own anything that you feel pretty in, get out and buy something that works.  Don’t sit in your house all day.  Get out of the house as often as possible.  Grocery shopping, and doctor’s appointments do not count.  Meet up with a friend for lunch.   If you don’t have any friends that are stay at home moms, make some.  They are sanity savers.  There are mommy groups all over the place.  Search online for one in your area.  Talk to other moms when you are at the pediatricians office.  As for the grocery shopping, for the love of God, leave the baby home with your husband and do it alone.  There are times when I walk up and down every aisle of the store just because it is the only alone time I have had for days.  I will allow others to go in front of me at the check out line because it is my own mini, kid free holiday.  

I know this is gong to be the longest answer that you get, heck it is the longest one I ever wrote.  But, I know what you are going through.  Trust me, I do.  Right now, I am home with my four kids and two extras.  And yes, I am still in my pajamas and it is almost 11 am here.  

Don’t let other’s make you feel as if there is something wrong with you  or make you feel guilty.  As moms we feel guilt enough over everything else.  It isn’t even rational some of the things that we feel guilty over, but we will still feel it.  

I will say, just to say, that if you are depressed to the point that you want to harm yourself or your baby, then seek help immediately.  If not, welcome to mommy world.  It gets better I promise.  

If you ever need another mom to talk to, just let me know.  You can contact me on my profile.

BTW, the baby is beautiful.

Answer 7

I'd don't care what anyone else says, it is normal.

I envy the fact Andrew can come and go. I was slightly happy he hurt himself, and has to stay at home. There are days when EVERY one has had enough, those who don't admit it are lying.

I have my problems. I am sure it's opposites week in my house, nobody is listening to me, they do the complete opposite.

It does sound like Post Natal, but the thing that worries me is that you weaned. It was too early, and I bet you didn't have your doctors ok. There is NOTHING wrong with anti-depressants, I've taken mood stabilisers for 10 years, and there is nothing wrong with me.

Get your pretty buttt off that chair and ring your doctor to have a chat. Don't think I won't come over there - I have connections.

You can also reach out to a Parenting Centre. They are awesome. And if you don't want to deal with other parents, they have social workers who will actually come to your house. I have one come and talk to me for a few hours once a week. It's a fantastic help to me mentally. *Susie* also helps me clean up and is basically the best friend Stranger. I love her.

I know you won't harm your daughter, anyone who thinks you would, probably thinks I don't deserve children. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, we wouldn't know nothing if we didn't.

So you make that appointment to see your Doc and get back to me.

Love YOU

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