POEM? like grammer checked?

Question

I take on step forward

And find myself taking a million back

Every day that goes by

I find a million more mistakes i have left in my tracks.

Some say i'm perfect

Is there such thing?

Im far from it,

im as far from perfect as winter is to spring.

Everyday life is a struggle.

The good with the bad

The happy with the sad

Many people ask is it worth living?

What do we live for?

Is all the stuggle really worth it all?

I climb so far up, just to fall.

Lifes great one day,

sad the next.

Truly i don't know what to expect

Who truly can we trust,

is it love or lust?

questions i ask myself everyday

As i put on a fake smile, and be the person i portray

I'm sick of being hurt!

The pains to much.

I'm stuck in this worlds clutch!

Though yet i believe there is more worth living for.

Because for every door that closes appears an open door..

Things will get better i tell myself.

You've just gotta belive in yourself.

Answer 1

what was the question?

your poem isnt really that great but if it helps you to let out your emotions then it is beautiful. keep writing and better words will come and they will take the pain with them.

Answer 2

Annoying cliche emo poem. Not that good. Write about a different topic.

Answer 3

its great

Answer 4

just sounds like  whiny lil brat to me u just want ppl feeling bad for u

Answer 5

Okay, you asked for your grammar to be checked, so here goes:

Line 1:  one step instead of "on step", I think you meant, didn't you?

Line 8:  "as winter is FROM spring..."

Line 14:  "Is all the struggle really worth it?"  The second all is redundant.  

Line 16:  Life's  (contracted form of Life is)

Line 18:  should be I (capitalization.  This is optional.  If you want to keep it lower case, keep it lower case.  Poet's choice.)

Lines 21 and 22:  again "i" should be capitalized as in "I".

Line 24:  should be "the pain's too much."

Line 25: "in this world's clutch."

Line 26:  I; use of though and yet is redundant, choose one of them

Line 27:  I think you need use of the word another to make this more clear and to make it read better, but again, your choice.

Line 28:  Things will get better, I tell myself.

Line 29:  You've just gotta believe in yourself.

There's a lot of cliches here, but somehow there is also the beginnings of an amazing poem, and an amazing artist.  I like your use of rhyme.  I think this would be amazing and powerful if spoken as a rap or performed in a slam.  I'd like to see you add more detail (the goddess is in the details, luv, to paraphrase Mies van der Rohe...), and try to morph it into something that is completely original, completely unique, completely, earth-shakingly yours and yours only.  Will you play with it some, enlarge upon it, tweak the details and add some visuals, some sordid details, some quirkiness, some angst, some wrath, some howling at the moon?  Paint me some pictures.  Make me feel your tears and pain.  Let me hear you howl, and then repost what you come up with, if you will.  I'd love to read it!  Usually poems posted on this site are such drivel, such relentless adolescent c**p.  This one actually has some potential, and some power.  Keep going.

Answer 6

i think your poems reallllly good

the first two people are retarded

lol

answer mine?

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