POLL: Can you give me a good joke?

Question

POLL: Can you give me a good joke?

Answer 1

Time difference

Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time, but

that Chicago is on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at

the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.

"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," the ticket agent

informed him, "And arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."

"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a

reservation?"

"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that

thing take off!"

Answer 2

This is a blond joke I got from my friend:

There were 3 construction workers - one Italian, one Mexican, and one blond. They were eating lunch on a ledge.

Italian: "What? Lasagna again! If I ever have to eat this again I will jump off this ledge!"

Mexican: "Oh no! Enchilada again! If I ever have to take another bite of off this I will kill myself!"

Blond: "Man! A sandwich again! If I ever have this as a meal I will surely die by jumping off this ledge!"

*Next Day*

Italian: "I have lasagna...again..." He jumped off the ledge and died.

Mexican: "I have enchilada...again..." He jumped off the ledge and died.

Blond: "I have a sandwich...again..." He jumped off the ledge and died.

*At The Construction Worker's Funerals*

Italian's wife is crying: "Why?!? Why didn't he just tell me he wanted something different!"

Mexican's wife is sobbing: "If only I prepared him something else...!!!"

Blond's wife is surprised: "What!?! Don't look at me! He makes his own lunch!"

Hope you enjoyed it :)

Answer 3

Two pancakes are walking down the street. One of them was battered.

Answer 4

Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted.

Answer 5

I saw two women walking a brest.

Answer 6

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

joke2

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

They all said, “This tastes like p**p!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

joke3

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

And a little voice came out of the box.........

"I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"