PRe-Teen crisis???!!?

Question

I think my friend is having a pre-teeen crisis..She has problems with her mom and she think of everything and everybody in her family hates her.I CANT TAKE IT ANYMOREE!I cant stand seeing her suffering!She's bottling everything up inside and she holds back her tears everytime because herself that she wouldnt cry anymore.I NEED YOUR HELP!Im afraid she'll go haywire some day and she's only 13!!She cant even tell her own mom she just had her first menstruation because her mom is sooo over protective.And believe me,I think so too.Her mom doesnt let her go.And she always puts her down.Its killing me but i always think deep down inside,Shes crying her soul out and i once caught her hyperventilating from all that crying.Its killing me to see her like this and its like she has a dual personality.In school she's jolly but when she gets home,She's the opposite of jolly.She's always soo sad and i dont think anyone sees it but me(well,because she tells me).But..Is she really having a pre-teen crisis?Cuz maybe soon she'll have an emotional break down and MAYBE she might turn emo and start cutting herself (Im not saying being emo is bad,fyi).She doesnt want to talk to anyone!!!HELP HER PLEASE

Answer 1

Would your friend consider speaking to a school counsellor? If not, maybe you can (on the sly, of course) and gain some ideas as to how you can help her. Being so young, generally this type of trauma can affect her permanently, as she doesn't have to power to tell her mum to pi*s off, mind her own business, and start acting like a mother!!!

Whatever you do, try not to give up on her, you seem to be all she has.

Answer 2

My mother was the same way. Can you talk to your Mom? Maybe you and your Mom can help your friend. Maybe you Mom can call her Mom and try and find out what is wrong. Have her on a sleep over. Also, see if she can't be in something after school, sports theater etc.Tell her not to take it so hard, just bide time until she can go to college. Maybe she can study like crazy and finish High School early. I had a very hard time as a kid. I finally got my Mother to send me to a private school where I slept over. Also, if you think she is being abused, call DCF (department of children and families) in your area. SHe can have long term problems from so much upset. She should tell her Mom about the periods though. she will most likely be sympathetic.

Good Luck

Answer 3

She may be bordering on depression if she is always fighting back tears. It also sounds like she has zero self esteem because of her mum? You might need to convince her to go speak to a school councilor. If she can confess her whole relationship with her mum then the social serves will be able to judge if her mum really is nasty or if the mum is going through PMS or your friend might just be going through mood swings because of hormones. If your friend is quite thin-skinned then she will be really sensitive to what your mum says. It may all just be a huge rush of hormones, i have seen this happen to my friends and their mums too. The mums just don't know how to react when they see their daughter changing so dramatically. I mean one minute the mum has a sweet little kid then the hormones kick in and the girl is extra moody and wants to go out to parties (not saying that is what she does just using it as an example!) But in one case my friend actually had an anxiety disorder and the mum was mentally abusive so she had to be separated. So i know very well what can happen. My friend is scared for life.

If i were you i would just be a good shoulder to cry on and keep an eye on her just to make sure she doesn't end up a cutter or something. You sound like an amazing friend and an amazing person, she is really lucky to have you!  

Answer 4

nine  -   one   - one  

d00d.

Answer 5

If you are the one she talks to you, then you are the one to help her through it.  She is headed or probably already there Depression.  Her mum being over protective makes this worse, but you can make a difference, be there how ever she needs you and do you have a youth counsellor at school or a youth counsellor you trust.  She needs help, wants help, but scared to get help.  If you show her the way, she'll listen in her own way, but she needs lots of reassurance from you, big task for you to fulfill.  She is lucky to have you.  Good luck!!