Parent abuse..?

Question

I know young kids have tempers epsecially at age 2 years old but I am getting worried about my son who will kick me bite me punch me pinch me scratch me push me and so much more.He will only do it when we are alone everyone once in a great while he will do it in front of someone. I tryed so much to stop him - but you can only do so much about it. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

do whatever he does to you back once,

and he'll stop

(don't use all your strength.)

Answer 2

ignore him feed him clothe him thats it and when the new baby come (congrates by the way!!) love it give it the chance you gave the first one but if it starts acting up then do the same thing

Answer 3

never hit a child... that can either scare him into shock or trauma or cause the child to be more violent back.... there are two options from me... talk to him... explain you don't like it when he hits you, it makes you cry/hurt/ whatever

the second thing is find a routine for both of you when he is in his moods... take him outside and run with him...  (never give him TV, treats, or things like that because he will think its a treat to act the way he does)

do anything you can to calm him down- if he isn't reacting the way you want then your going to have to do what you know you don't want to do - finding a good therapist...

he could be reacting this way because in the past you gave in.... when he didn't get his way he reacted violently and you would give in.... tell him that if he doesn't knock it off then he won't be allowed to _____ (be realistic, and don't say 'ever' find things he likes (his pokemon cards) take them away and say he doesn't get them back till he is calm- make him stand there and take 10 breathes in and out (when he is calm give them back)

Answer 4

WHats your punishment for this behavior? Is it saying no no no no no over and over again? There needs to be consequences like time out for his behavior and it needs to happen every time he does it so he knows he can't disrespect you.

Answer 5

The standard time-out style punishments aren't gonna work. He is too young to understand why he is being put in that situation and without a real consequence. You need to smack him a little, either on the hand or the butt. Once he feels pain, he will come to understand that giving pain = getting pain. Don't be afraid of spanking your son. If you don't keep him in check, as he gets older, he will start getting spoiled, bratty, and walk all over you knowing he'll just get minor consequences. Don't waste your money on a therapist so they'll pull out some random disorder as an excuse for your son's behavior. Take responsibility for your kid.

Answer 6

Oh my goodness. I went through the same type of temper tantrums with my youngest.  All I can say is consistancy, consistancy, consistancy.

I thought it was stupid when I first heard it but when I started living it, it really mattered.

When your son starts throwing a fit you have to remove him from the stimulus. Even if it's you. Make him sit on the bed for no more than 2-5 minutes. If he gets off the bed, start the time all over again. EVERY time.  On the other hand, you have to consistantly reward sweet behavior. When he is feeling sweet and wants to climb all over you and love you until you are a nervous wreck, you have to love him, hug him and be sweet.  Any angry "get down" type reaction will be a type of punishment for him being (his version of) sweet and loving.  

You have to think like a two year old. When they are laughing, climbing all over you and those big, loud, in your face type moments... that is them expressing love. As long as that doesn't involve biting you, hitting you or any other physical striking out, it is a good thing. You can reward it back with love and patience.

The moment he starts to cause you pain, then it's back to the bed. No yelling or anything, just "you aren't supposed to hurt."  Then after he calms down, back to hugs and kisses.

It's hard, it's exhausting.. but it is worth it.

** Edit**

Oh, not good if he knows you are scared of him. You gotta get your bluff in on him. My youngest kicked a dent in my car at two and used to come after me to hit me or bite me. I really do understand. It's like a blind rage that you don't think they should be capable of. When he hurts you or tries to hurt you, drop all expression and emotion from your voice. For some reason they react to that sudden coldness or lack of emotion better. He will test it at first and it will get worse but consistancy is the key. It's important you start this before the baby is born or he could hurt the baby just to get that negative attention he likes so much.

Answer 7

my 2 year old does the same thing. i talk to the doctor about it and he/she says the same thing every time be more firm and stick to your guns (what ever that means) i was also told that after the age of 5 is when you should worry

Answer 8

Well, it is NOT too late.

First off, try to illiminate all things stressful (including loud TV, music and voices). Always speak to him by looking into his eyes and keep an even tone with from dusk till dawn. Try not to raise your voice, even if you're upset with him, state the consquence with an even firm tone, very matter of factly.

When you sense his blood boiling, saying "Wait." firmly.. then continue.."We do not raise our voices and throw tantrums to each other. I'm your mommy and I love you very much- you WILL be nice when talking to me." I KNOW he's 2. But hearing you be calm and collected will help him. Then say.. "What is it?" so he can explain, beg whatever. Keep the conversation flowing without tension.

That was the only way I could curb fits when they were that young.

At first- he'll resist. you might have to restain him (by sitting him on your lap and holding his arms down (in a hug position). Since your pregnant- your husband will have to do this. Don't say a WORD while doing this.

The whole idea is to TEACH him how to act. Teach him how you and husband will communicate to him and what's expected of him, back.

Oh and.. no red dye juices or candy or food coloring. No soda sips.

Just get sugar free foods for him. He doesn't need it anyway.

Get him on a strict schedule. You'll need it when the new baby comes and having a schedule helps children deal with what is expected at all hours of the day.

Answer 9

Hmmm...talk to his pediatrician. I'm sure he's just acting out. Does he do it for no reason at all or only when you deny him something he wants? Either way I'm sure his doctor will understand and have resources for you to go to find out what the problem is and how to stop it. Good luck.

(Then again, it could just be the terrible 2's! I've never heard of a child being that extreme though.)

Answer 10

Spank him. If he bites you give him something to bite (soap). Time out does not work before the age of 5 -6. A 2year old can not reason yet. I know it sounds harsh but if you don't get a handle on it now you will have lost and it will only get worse. Good luck

Answer 11

I think the next time, you need to give him a spanking. Let him know that you mean  business. You need to reward good behaivor, but you need to punish this type. I beleive in timeouts, but I do not think they will work here. A hard swat or two on the bottom will stand a good chance of stopping it.