Parental Baddness, help my friend?

Question

ok my guy frined lives with his aunt an uncle cus his rich parent say "they're way to busy an think he'l get the attention and care he needs with them. his bro died a few years ago an his dad said a few things like that kind of hinted he wished it was my friend that died instdead. he really dislikes his dad, they dont get on at all, an his mum just goes with whatever the dad says. he gets on with his aunt and uncle so well. he really thinks of them as his parents and says as long as he has them he wouldnt care if his dad died the next day. i think him and his dad should get counselling or something and sort there probblems out because they really do not get along, its like the try to torture eachother. should they get counselling or something or just leave it the way it is??

Answer 1

If this bothers your friend he should definitely seek counseling.  If his father see no problem, counseling may be wasted on him.  Your friend can benefit from counseling whether his father goes or not.  

Answer 2

they shuld get counceling  

Answer 3

Yes, they need counseling.  People work through grief in different ways and some of those ways aren't healthy.  If the dad really wants to not permanently alienate his son, they really need to work through their issues.  However, as good as a friend you are - you can't force them to go.  The two of them have to pursue it on their own.  You can suggest it, but don't take it personally if they don't jump on it.  

Answer 4

hmm.. do they seem to try to get along at all? If there is a slight noticeable relationship between them, i say get counseling. But if they just really hate eachother, try to find out why his dad hates him so much... does he blame him for the death of his other son? If so, the dad is still mourning and he needs the counceling, not your friend.

Answer 5

You cannot force a parent to accept their child, just you can't force a child to accept their parent. They will see eye to eye one day, but for now it is "all for one" and you need to just support your friend with his everyday life situations. I understand about wanting to help, but you can only do so much and trying to push men together is like pulling teeth from a lion, you can only get so far before it will bite you.

Just let men sort it out, trust me, they will.

Answer 6

Counseling would be helpful but his father might not be willing.

If his father isn't interested in going to counseling with him I think your friend should probably still go by himself.  

Answer 7

They seriously need counselling, that's bad for either one of them to feel that way about the other, although I do know how it feels to hate your Father, but unlike this kid ^ I have good reason.

Answer 8

Your right a kid needs his dad. Try getting them together and sharing what they have in common. or hire a cheap counselor. And if it doesnt work out. maybe things werent meant to be between them. but its kinda sick his dad wanted him to die :(. Say Your sorry for me :)

Answer 9

There is nothing you can really do it is going to be up to them and form the sounds of it his dad would probably not go. sounds to me like his parents are self absorbed and probably still having alot of difficulty for their child's death and they don't want to blame themselves so they project there saddness and hatred on their other son.

Answer 10

I have a bad relationship with my father...

these sorts of things are not fixable...  

Answer 11

Wow that's pretty sad how your friend's dad treat him. His dad probably sees himself in your friend and doesn't like what he sees. Tell them to sit down when his dad have time and get to the root of the problem. I don't have a relationship with my father and he chooses not to have one. I tried plenty of times to have one but he shows he's not interested. He really crushes my heart but I have to move on. What's sad is that he has a good relationship with his other children but don't want to have anything to do with me. Parents sometimes don't realize how much hurt and pain they can cause a child then the child grows up bitter and the parent doesn't even know it. They both need to sit down a have a serious conversation so  whatever is broken it can be mended.

Hope I could help!