Parental Rights???

Question

I have two girls from previous relationship, the father does not call them see them or help support them. We moved with the military and are out of state. He only call when I call him to remind him of a birthday coming. He does have an addiction which I view as him problem but has in the past drank very heavily in front of them causing him to drop one. Anyhow my husband of 5 yrs want to adopt them and have names changed. Is it possable to do even if the bio parent will refuse to give up rights ? What would I have to do ?

Answer 1

No!  You cannot go behind his back and have your hsband adopt them.

But---you can have him served where he is and see if he responds to the serve.  If he does not, and the legal time has passed, then his rights can be terminated in court.

Unfortunately, this takes time and money.  But it is a necessary step if you want them to be adopted.  Just remember, he never has to pay child support if he signs voluntarily, or has his rights terminated by the court.  If you think he may want to do that to free him from having to be concerned with them at all, then you could ask him to sign.

Then, someday when you can afford to have your husband adopt them, you can.

The whole procedure -- serve, termination, adoption -- can cost several thousand dollars.

Just remember -- never, never speak badly of your children's father -- it's just like speaking badly of THEM!  It is a part of who they are, like it or not. Even if your husband becomes their father, they still need to hear neutral or a few positive things about their bio father.

With addictions and no contact, you say??  Yes.  You can say -- "I am sure if your bio father were well, and didn't have so many troubles, he would have been able to be there more for you.  But ______ is healthy and able to take care of children, so he is going to do that for him becasue he loves you too."

Contact an attorney who specializes in adoption -- not just any attorney.  This is too important.  If you cannot afford an attorney, you can ask the state child welfare office for copies of a voluntary Waiver of Parental Rights and send it to him to sign in front of a Notary and 2 witnesses.   Good luck to you all!

Answer 2

You would have to get a judge to terminate his rights involuntarily. To do so you would need a basis such as abandonment or abuse/neglect.

Answer 3

It is possible, but either way you have a lot of work to do.  Make sure you document EVERYTHING.  If you have witnesses to the drinking & child dropping incident, call them and get them to give sworn statements about it.  Write the times, dates and who was there when anything happens.  Stop calling him to remind him to call & document when he does call, what was said, etc.  Start keeping a log of all that goes on, this will help you tremendously in court.  If you can prove that he is unwilling to be of any parental support, and that he is only holding back out of spite, then you have a chance to get the courts to work for you.  The more detail, the better.

Answer 4

Court would be the place you would make most of your trips to during this process!! It's not possible until the bio father signs parental laws and allows the "non-real" dad to adopt and changing names is difficult. Sometimes you HAVE to be 18 or older!

Answer 5

Funny how people jump to conclusions or read into things that aren't there huh?

Here's the deal, and some of the others are correct in this: his right's will either have to be voluntarily be terminated or the court will.

Here's how I explained it to my ex: you will no longer 'have to' give up part of your paycheck anymore, you won't have to feel obligated to call anymore, you can spend that money on beer or video games or find a new wife in the strip club.

But most of all....think of all the money you'll save not having to spend it on your child.....

Works so easily on him too.....sad isn't it? That just mentioning that he won't have to pay for his child ever again will get him to sign the papers. Just goes to show his priorities.

But his rights will have to be signed over. That's all there is to it. It can be really hard. Otherwise, the children will have to remain as they are. My Boy takes on his step-father's name every day. It's not legal, but it's what he prefers to be called.

Good luck to you and wherever you may be PCS'd hon.

Answer 6

I doubt it. If he isn't beating them or molesting them the courts aren't going to take his parental rights away. Just because he is a dead beat dad doesn't mean anything to the court when it comes to parental rights. And drinking in front of them, and dropping one of them on accident once won't mean a thing to the courts either. He is an adult is legally able to drink, and everyone can accidentally hurt their child. I know this isn't the answer you wanted to hear, but it's the truth. Sorry, and if you decide to go for it anyways I wish you all the luck in the world! Those girls deserve a father who cares about them.

Answer 7

yes you can all you will have to do is go to court and they will see hes not a good father and that the step father is they will grant you that and dimish the bio dads rights. Goodluck to you. Just find a lawyer and tell them your case. It's going ot cost some money tho