Parenting help?

Question

my 11 year old is turning out to be a brat. i really hate to say that about my own flesh and blood, but it is the only word i can think of; i am so frustrated. she bosses me around, not to mention her friends. she makes horrible faces and mocks me constantly. her older sister (13 yrs old) is much bigger than her, yet she has horrible scars from where my 11yr old has beat her up. she even hits me and my husband, her father. i do not give her everything she wants, by any means, and the discipline in our household is adequate. i mean to say, we spank her AND her sister when they misbehave, ocassionally giving them a whipping. what am i doing wrong? she used to be such a sweet girl...

Answer 1

You give them a whipping! No wonder she is like she is. She should call social services instead of hitting out at you. Wow, I didnt realise there were parents like you still out there!

Answer 2

YOU have taught your daughter to hit and now you wonder WHY she does it?  This is what happens when you spank a child...you run the risk that they will learn exactly what you are teaching them and now you want to blame HER for her behavior.  You are blaming the wrong person to begin with...then of course her hormones are raging due to puberty.  I suggest counseling for the entire family so that the parents here may learn how to actually discipline rather than use physcial violence to keep their children in line.

Answer 3

thats horrible!!! no child should be like that!!!! if you feel u need help take her to a counsler or ask your friends. no one should act like that to there mom dad or siblings u need 2 be even more stricker! whatever it takes!!!!

Answer 4

my daughter does that sometimes too. But its our own fault cause we kid around so much with the kids. I think they forget who the adults are sometimes. But i never hesitate to remind her. But not by force. I use words with a strong voice.  She has a temper too and will try to bully her little brother. which causes him to cry and tell. But i try not to get involved and let them work it out. But if your daughter is getting physical she learned it from you and your husband, cause you guys do that to her. She makes you mad and she gets hit. what do you expect her to do? you need to change that now while shes young. Maybe some kind of anger management class. getting outside help doesn't mean your a bad parent it just means you are a good loving parent that wants to help their child become a good and loving well adjusted adult. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 5

when i was young my mom says you hit somebody that puts you in the point were you wanna fight she hits her sis let her sis hit her back but perfect idea is let her go to friends get you family around everytime she says some thing dont say anything dont look at her if she pushes you dont care and do that for a day or 2 and you talk to your family but just not her

Answer 6

I put my daughter into anger management classes. They were given free by the police department for kids on the track to jvd. Give them a call and if nothing else maybe they can give you an idea of what to do before it is too late! My daughter is now 21 and with 2 children of her own now and doing great. I hope for you all the best! Good Luck

Answer 7

Sounds to me like she has a total lack of respect for everyone.  She needs to understand that hitting is not ok.  If she used to be sweet something must have happened to trigger the sudden change in behavior.. try to locate the cause.  Good luck

Answer 8

Spanking is not for all kids. It sounds to me like spanking has made her aggressive. You need to seek family counseling and find better ways to deal with your child's behavior.

Answer 9

My son turned 12 and I no longer had a clue who this child was and where he came from. I would swear that someone traded kids on me in the night. I think it has to be age related and many other moms have told me the same. It got so bad that I am now going to counseling with him. The counselor says it is age and hormones but that doesn't make it any easier. SHe said to set clear boundaries with clear consequences so that is what I am trying now. Good luck I know how you feel. I feel more like a warden/referee than a mom these days.