Parenting kids with smart mouths?

Question

how do i get my 9 year old son to drop the attitude and arguing with me about every single thing. i had to smack his mouth in the store last night becaus he just wouldnt stop the attitude.. i only resort to that kind of punishment when he never stops the attitude.

any advice?

Answer 1

I've tried everything. My 14 year old has even brought me to tears with her crabby-ness. I've started just walking away and ignoring her until she gets it. Good luck.

Answer 2

Hot pepper on his toung.  Too harsh of a solution for ya?  Try soap.   My kids don't sass us as much since we started with the pepper.

Answer 3

i have learned that a child with that kind of attitude does not do well with shock treatments,lol. I have a grand daughter that is a child from the same planet as yours. So we were in the store and she started in with her mouth,,, I  continued to do and go thru the store, then when it got to the point where she got worse because she wasn't gettin a reaction from me, and the people were looking at me in that "omg" kinda way, I quietly let  her go on while puttin everything back, it started to register on her and the look on her face was priceless when I put that cart back and  left the store with nothing... the rant turned into a load of how come questions and why'd you do that's. In the car I calmly looked at her and said, you act like an idiot with no manners and expect the world, the world in our house does not get anything.........once at home, she would say can I,,,,, I said no....didn't matter what, it did in fact turn into a match and I nailed it home with a good dose of her own attitude with all of her logic and told her to expect her kind of behaviour from me as long as she kept this attitude up.....the rest of the day it went as she tested and tested......it was difficult to do on my end...remaining calm and collected I kept the thought,,,she will not ruin my day as she likes,,, but she will find out I will destroy hers calmly and nicely without raising my voice.......I also had her answer the questions as to why we did not have this or that from the store when her Dad or Grandfather asked.....since then----- not a bit of trouble. Since then,,she knows you start it,,,I will carry it on just like you do with a smile and no reguard for her at all....with dignity and a parental calm.....I have one simple rule,,, do not ruin my day, if you choose to ruin my day, do not expect to have a very good one yourself.

Answer 4

I don't negotiate (argue) and I don't hit.  If my children want something and I say no I walk away.  I don't acknowledge attitude, it is there to get your attention.  Obviously you give your son what he wants, your attention.

Answer 5

You have to become quiet, based on the fact that he can't argue if you're not speaking....and then continue on with your intended task. It is difficult, but well worth it!

Answer 6

GB had a great answer.  Let him realize that having an attitude will only make things worse for him.  Also every kid has that one thing they hate having taken away (the playstation, the t.v. whatever)  Find out what his weakness is and let him know in advance when you go to the store or something that if he starts his attitude he will lose that privilege for one week (or set amount of time).  Whatever you do don't give in.  Mark it on the calendar and stick with it.

Answer 7

Don't argue back.

Answer 8

Just don't smack his mouth - that's what he has a bottom for.

Answer 9

You are right - GB has more patience than I ever would - but a great solution none the less!

The key to my 11 year old is not to argue back. She can be very mouthy - but also very logical, and I find myself defending my position - which she 'justifies' and round and round we go.  Sometimes I think I could take every priviledge away from her that she has and it wouldn't affect her.

I remind her (and myself) I am the parent and you are the child. I will not argue with you. State your answer and walk away. Usually that stops the bickering.