Parenting/nanny advise..please....?

Question

I just took a job 5 weeks ago as a live in nanny for two kids ages 8,10.Mom stays out of town most of the time but the kids call her on her cell phone complaining if they dont get what they want and she insists they have whatever they want.They are very spoiled, disrespectful, run off and will not listen to anything.They are constantly making a mess in the kitchen, leaving the refridg open and leaving their opened mess everywhere.I spend most of my time picking up after them because mom doesnt want them to have chores or have to pick up after themselves.I am paid pretty good, but I need some advise to handle these two.Also the mom says none of her previous nannies have ever shut their bedroom door.I shut it when I am sleeping and when I leave the room as I feel it is my private space.The mom said she has an open door policy for her kids and only shuts her door when her boyfriend is in town.She does not understand how I could hear a prowler at night with my door shut.What do you think?

Answer 1

put your foot down.  she is being unreasonable - are you a "nanny" or are you a babysitter?

if you're a nanny, then she hired you to, essentially, raise her children for her because she can't be bothered to do it herself.  as such, she can specify certain rules but other than that, YOU run the show.  

if you're a babysitter, then i'd quit.

Answer 2

First...a nanny doesn't mean a 24/7 caretaker for her kids.  A nanny should still be a 40 hour a week job, and if it's more then you should be being paid extra for that time.  You are perfectly entitled to close your bedroom door.  That is YOUR space and your sleep is YOUR time.  It's actually part of employment law that she not take advantage of you being in the house.

Second...it sounds like the mom is spoiled.  That is where the kids get it from.  She doesn't want a nanny, since she doesn't want someone ensuring that her children recieve the best care that will make the kids well rounded, mature individuals later in life.  What she wants is someone to take the kids off her hands while she galavants around doing whatever she wants.  And she wants that person to be her live in maid too.

Research the laws surrounding employment and you will see that you are being taken advantage of.

Answer 3

id tell u to quit but its not that easy, when you are supposed to take care of them while she is gone, she will be very mad and i dont know how bad her reaction will be xD

why would you even want to babysit these spoiled kids and a mom that doesnt even care, she treats you like a maid that got no life... she is taking advantage of u...

it sounds like h**l

Answer 4

I think that you are in a no-win situation.  You will never be able to deal effectively with the kids if Mom won't let you discipline them.  She probably feels guilty about not being home, so gives them whatever they want.  The next time she is home, you could try talking to her.  Explain to her about how hard your job is when she give in to the kids every time they call.  Explain your feelings about the closed door, also.  I doubt that you will be able to get anything changed, but it's worth a try.  You will have to decide if you're getting paid enough to put up with all the brattiness of the kids.  Good Luck!