Parents, has your child ever been bullied in school?

Question

This question is for parents, primarily parents of older children or even grown-up children. Has your child ever been bullied in school, or has he or she ever have BEEN the bully? If so, how did you deal with your child being harassed (or being the harasser)? Was it hard for you as well (on both ends since generally no parent wants to hear about their child being bullied OR being a bully). What grounds did you take to improve your child's ways (or situation, depending on their position)?

Also, has your child ever been involved in a fistfight (whether he or she started it or simply defended himself/herself) or was "jumped"? How did you handle the situation?

Answer 1

I've been the parent of the bully, though our situation turned out better than most.

My oldest, Jackie, who is now 22yrs, was a rule tester when she was younger. While I got a handle on it at home when she was young, at school it was a different story. Every year when she was elementary school, I requested for her to have a strict and firm teacher. If my daughter knew from the start that you weren't going to take any nonsense, she was fine. If she came in on the first day and saw a giggly, hunky dory teacher, we'd have issues.

For the 4th grade, my daughter got this teacher fresh out of college. She really had no idea what she was doing and getting Jackie as a student was in the end, a big wake up call for her.

The day of Halloween 1995, I came to school to pick up Jackie as well as my then my 1st grader and kindergartener. I was waiting for them to come down and meet me in the office when a mother approached me with her daughter and asked if I was Jackie's mother. I said yes and the mother went on to tell how she had just moved here with her family and that her daughter was in my daughter's class. The teacher had made Jackie her daughter's Smile Partner. (a child who helps the new student) She said for the first two weeks of school, everything was fine, but by week 3, Jackie had apparently "grown tired" of having her daughter follow her around and began to tease and be mean to her. The mother said she had spoken to the teacher 3 times and after each time, everything was OK for a few days, then go back to the way it was.

First, I was completely embarassed by my daughter's behavior and promised I would have a chat with my daughter and fix the issue. It hurts to hear those words, especially when YOU KNOW you REINFORCE better behavior, morals and values at home.

Second, I went right to the teacher and had a nice little chat with her about informing the parents of these kinds of situations before they get out of hand and ESPECIALLY WHEN A PARENT CALLS YOU! Why didn't someone tell me? Why wasn't I informed? I'm not at school to see these things and it's not like my daughter came home and said, "Yeah, I made fun of this girl in my class today."

Third, I delt with my daughter. We had a long talk about the situation at home, about how she doesn't have to be friends with every person she comes across, but she DOES need to be respectful, kind and helpful! How would you feel if you were new to school and the person who was assigned to help you out was mean, made fun of you and wasn't helpful? Would you want to go to school? Would you feel good enough to try and made new friends? NO. She then had to write a letter to the girl and the girl's mother apologizing for the way she acted and suffered a punishment for a month.

That little girl my daughter pushed around was Jackie's maid of honor in her wedding last month. The two have been best friends since the middle of 4th grade. After my daughter brought in the letters, the two of them stayed out of eachother's path until after Christmas Break. They then some how or another became friendly and their friendship has lasted 12yrs. As for that "giggly, hunky dory" 4th grade teacher, all 5 of my daughters had her. Infact, my 19yr had her for both 3rd and 4th grade lol.

Answer 2

My daughter who is now 15 was bullied when she was 11 the school were useless so i took matters in to my own hands and sorted the bullies.

I did not use violence but it got sorted out and i am glad i did it the  way i did  

Answer 3

My son was bullied for a long time.  He's always been the little guy and sensitive.  From age 7 to 11 school was h**l for him.  Kids pushed him down the stairs at school, called him a f*g, he was urinated on, spit on, his books stolen and destroyed, etc.  I contacted the school several times, things would improve for a week or so and then back to normal.  

I always told him to protect himself, but he never would.  Once when he got punched in the face my daughter (who's older, and "popular") went after the boy to defend him and that got that kid off his back, but there was always more to take his place.  

My son has always been a happy kid at home.  But at school he was developing anger management issues.  He would throw chairs at kids that were bothering him, he wouldn't accept help from anyone because he thought they were making fun of him.  The school wanted to send him to therapy for depression.  I told them no way.  They were not going to treat my son for a condition he doesn't have.  They needed to deal with the bullies, because THEY were the problem.  A week after that meeting with the school they got a new Principal with a zero tolerance for bullying.  Bullies got suspended on the first offence.

Within a month we started seeing a difference.  Kids were making friends with him, he was accepting it.  He'd be asked over to kids houses for parties and sleepovers, and he was finding things in common with kids in his class....even ones that bullied him for years.

He's 12 now.  He's entering high school and he's doing so with friends beside him.  I'm nervous about it because I don't want things to go back to the way they were, but we encourage his friendships as much as we can and hope for the best.  

Answer 4

when my son was 10, i happened to see him get jumped by another 10 yr old as they got off the school bus. he left him lying in a crumpled mess in the street. i called the police and ran out to get him. this kid had been harrassing my son. i was asked if i wanted to press charges and of course said i would let that incident be the kid's warning. after that the kid gave my son "dirty" looks in school but never bothered him again.

a few years later, i found out that a girl had spent the previous year randomly punching, kicking, pinching my then 12 yr old son. he tolerated it because she was a girl. i emailed the principal and said i would call the police and press charges if it happened again.

it's never hard for me to deal with because i don't put up with stuff like that. OUR only problem is that my son is hesitant to tell me because he knows i'll take immediate action. i'm just glad that bullying is such a big issue these days because, as a parent, it's much easier to deal with. the school and the police are right there and very supportive. well, the principal anyway. i wouldn't count on the teacher. they've already got a lot on their plate just trying to adhere to curriculum and discipline in the classroom, etc.

i also know that MY son has done some bullying. we've talked endlessly about it and of course it's much easier for me to find out when he's been bullied than when HE'S doing the bullying.

i found a reasonable solution in changing schools. he now goes to a charter school and it's very small. typical public schools are way too overcrowded and there is way more going on than any teacher, principal or parent knows about.

Answer 5

My 15 year old son was bullied from age 7-13. He was always the short kid who had braces,acne,and glasses. He was called horrific names [i.e, f*g,d**k,a*****e] and beaten up. The child who bullied him brought a GUN to school and threatned to shoot my son, luckily, the principal caught him and the took him to the Mental Society. My son no longer has braces, acne,or glasses. He's now the girl magnet; Beautiful white teeth;contact lenses;visibly clear skin.

My 11 year old got bullied at the age of 8. My 11 year old daughter suffered from Eczema at the time; on her face. Luckily, the child moved away, although i wish she wouldn't have because now she could see my daughter who's Tall, , And beautiful-Like all of the children in the world.