Parents, when do you think is the best time to discuss s*x with your child?

Question

The rise of teenage pregnancy and the large abortion debate that follows it is, in my opinion, preventable by the parents. Parents often cringe when they hear the word "s*x" in front of their child(ren) out of fear of facing a ruthless inquisition. And so, they often avoid the topic entirely by any or all means. As a result, we get a lack of communication between the children and the parents. Parents don’t communicate their values and so, when they grow up and that opportunity is lost, teenage s*x becomes a lot more common.

According to the CDC, roughly half of all 15- to 19-year-olds have had vaginal intercourse, and more than half have had oral s*x. Shocking? Well then, obviously America’s parents aren’t dealing with this subject well enough. Some of you may say, “I did talk about it on one occasion…”, but I ask you, how in the world do you expect one or two simple (boring) lectures to have a significant impact on your child’s life?

Answer 1

i would discuss it when they are about 14 and tell them not to do it unless they understand the concequencess and i would have them write a report on what it does

Answer 2

Actually I employ the same methods my parents did. Open communication based on age and development from birth until adulthood. However you need to realize this is NOT a new issue or problem. This is simply a culmination of existing issues that have become more media friendly. Im 30 years old and girls were having kids at 14 and 15 when i was in high school. And most of us were NOT virgins at 18 or even 17. It wasnt as openly discussed through the media and many people turned a blind eye to the issues back then but they did exist.

Answer 3

Before they enter school. Kids as young as second grade have made the news having s*x. I want to be the one telling them, not other kids. My daughter was explained pregnancy/birth at the age of 2 and a half to 3, when I was in late pregnancy with our son. She didn't get the full on s*x details. But she understands "sperm and egg meet and make a baby grow in mommies belly. Then when the baby is finished growing mommy goes to the hospital and (my doctors name...very good history/repor) will help get the baby out of mommies belly. Baby will come out of mommies private area and mommy will be sore when she comes home."

It hasn't effected her negatively at all. If anything it's been a good learning experience for her. Now that I am pregnant with our third and last, she tells the office staff (4 nurses + my doctor) whats happening in the pregnancy, and asks what will be done at the appointment. She's 3years8months old! It's like second nature to her....I intend on starting the s*x discussions around age 5-6. She'll start school just before turning 7 (because her birthday is after the cutoff..so she'll start a year late), so I'll have a full year or 2 to explain it all to her.

If parents keep it all a secret and don't talk about it openly....all that accomplishes is the kids having the desire to explore the unknown. If they grow up discussing it, it isn't as intriguing.

Answer 4

Simply tell them everything they ask as they ask. For example a three year old will ask "Where did I come from" "Out of Mummy's tummy" will do.

At six they want to know how they got there. "Daddy loved me so much he planted you there so we could have you" will do.

At nine they want to know "how Daddy planted them"

Never lie and always create the situation where they know they can ask.

Television programmes and books are good ways to instigate discussion.

Answer 5

There should not be "A" talk.  Their should be ongoing communication from the time the child is an infant/toddler.  

Information should be presented in a way that child is able to comprehend at that age...for instance, you would not give details of s*x to a five year old, but they should certainly know the proper names for their anatomy and the difference between male and female.  

The subject of s*x should not be embarassing and shameful.

I know parents that HAVE had a decent communication with their children and they still contracted an STD or became pregnant.  It happens.  But if we take the right measures, it can certainly happen less often.  I am doing my part.

Answer 6

Discuss it when they ask.  Give age-related answers.  Answer what they ask about, and use the REAL words for body parts and bodily functions.  Also, when they get older, make sure they know the SLANG words for all of it, too, or they'll get confused by what their friends tell them versus what you say (and KNOW).

The day my son turned 5, he went into the bathroom, got a tampon, and said, "Okay, I'm old enough today.  What is this thing for?"  So, I got his little anatomy book and told him about a woman having her period so she can have babies.  His response?  "That's IT??  That's the big secret??  Ok." and then he went off to play!

Answer 7

From a young age.  You can speak in age appropriate terms and just give the kids information that is necessary and that they can understand.  As they get older their understanding will grow based on what you've told them.

Answer 8

my children are 7 (daughter) and 10 (son). My 10 year old came to me 1 night when he was 9 and asked me why he gets a funny feeling in his pee pee when he sees a certain girl at school and she blushes. We then had an hour talk about boys, girls, marriage and s*x. both my children know about a woman's cycle. there are lots of book's out there about how to talk to your child about s*x. I was raised if your old enough to ask your old enough to know. my son has even came to me asking to talk about things and surprised me about the things he already knows. he just turned 10 in march and he knows what g*y, bi and L*****n means. where babies come from and about a woman's cycles.It's scary because I didn't tell him about half of these things he came to me. We have a great relationship and talk about everything which is how my parents raised me.

Answer 9

about the same time their schools introduce them about puberty and that stuff. and depending on how your laws are, for instance you must be 17 here to consent

Answer 10

I homeschool my children.   I do not want others teaching them about s*x.  I started teaching my kids about s*x when they were little....  age appropriate stuff.  

I think talks like these should come from the parents, and parents need to try really hard not to be embarrassed or flustered about it.  

I was reading a 'growing up' book to my son several months ago - (he's 11 now, but was 10) and I thought I'd die.  I just kept saying to myself "just read what's on the page, just read what's on the page!"     I got through it (it was about masturbation!) and he just sat there like I was talking about brushing your teeth.  

I'm convinced if parents treat the subject right and are open and honest with their kids there would be a lot less problems with s*x and teens.  

I talk openly about issues with both my kids, and i tell them that s*x is a wonderful thing - but that it was meant for married people to share with each other.   It is my hope that they will remain virgins until they are married.