Parents: Adopting an older child

Question

I was wondering... Does parents like adopted older kids (like 14 is the highest)?

Answer 1

i think so not many teens get adopted at that point they give up and that would be nice of you to do that but its your choice hope it works out for you

Answer 2

I am 25 and i adopted a 12 year old girl when i was 23. It turned out to be a complete disaster, she came from a bad abusive home and didn't have any respect at all. I would NEVER do it again. I'm not telling you not to. Just giving you my personal experience! Good luck!!

Answer 3

It can be harder.  You must create a relationship with what amounts to an adult with angry hormones raging, and possibly with a difficult past.

Answer 4

i'm only 20 but it has been a topic me and my husband have discussed. we would but we would want to wait until our children were older so we could help them understand what was going on and also so i could give the adoptive child all the luxuries i give my biological children.  

Answer 5

Anyone, of any age, can be adopted (even adults).  Most older children are either adopted through foster care (up to 18 years old) or internationally.

Answer 6

I'm 20 and I personally would LOVE to adopt a teenage girl.  I would want it to be when I am married and able to stay at home with her.  I think that it will be difficult, but one day she will realize that she is loved.  It's hard because they understand what is going on and they have a past that they remember.. good or bad, either way they remember it.

Answer 7

While hopefully all parents like their children, parenting a child who was adopted older does have its own challenges. The child has more of a history before coming to you, probably has more traumatic memories, and also has either more memories of the biological family or has spent a lot of time in the uncertain limbo of foster care. The child may have lived in multiple homes, and may have faced abuse and neglect in either the biological home or in a foster home, which is tragically common.

All this has a real effect. The child can't just get over that instantly; it takes time and patience on your part, even in a wonderful and loving home. You should prepare for it taking the child more time to get used to you-- maybe a lot more time-- and for the child probably having some form of trauma symptoms.

This is something to talk to your social worker about if you're serious about adopting an older child. Your social worker can also recommend books or classes that can help you understand what it will be like and what you need to do to help.

Older children have a much harder time finding homes, so you would be really filling a need, but for the child's sake and for your own, you need to make sure you're as prepared as possible.