Parents-Boyfriend Rivalry

Question

My boyfriend and I live in the same village. Our relationship has been kept a secret for almost a year (11months to be exact) from my parents, though his family knew about it when we became a couple. My parents disapprove of him for the following reasons:

1. He was the former (informal) suitor of my cousin. They never became a couple and he really didn’t pursue her formally and persistently although most of our friends knew that he was head over heels in love with my cousin back then. There was a gap of one year between the time he flirted with my cousin and the time when we started (secretly) dating. My parents are so concerned of what my relatives particularly that cousin of mine will say if they knew about me and my boyfriend.

2. My parents don’t like his family because of a former disagreement/misunderstanding and my parents’ perception of his family.

3. At the time my parents learned about a relationship, my boyfriend is a couch potato. Although he doesn’t have any vices and rarely goes out of their house, he doesn’t have a work and is neither looking for one. At that time, he cooks, cleans the house, watches TV, dates with me and does his own laundry. While I already have a stable job, an honor graduate from a reputable university and looked up to by other people in our community.

At present, he is already working and we’re still together. I am planning to re-introduce him to my parents tomorrow BUT I am having second thoughts. Although I have already asked for signs from God whether he is THE one and I got all the signs, I am still afraid. I don’t know if my parents will approve of him this time. I am afraid that they won’t still accept him and force us to separate which I don’t want to happen. Heck. What do I do? What should I say to them so that they’ll approve of us? Is it really wrong to have the former suitor of your cousin as your boyfriend?

Answer 1

I think you really need to grow up a bit. Your family must simply accept it if it is what you want. What can they possibly do to you? Not speak to you? OMG (sarcastic voice) PANIC  

Answer 2

once a couch potato always a couch sitter

get ready for working long hours while he sit and watches telley.

Answer 3

It's all great and good to ask signs from God but reality wise you have to make do with what you have.

Why didn't he and your cousin get together? If he betrayed her there is no reason for your parents to approve.

If they seperated under mutual understanding there's still a chance,

as long as you won't feel jealous and have past doubts about what he used to do with your cousin etc... it's something you'll have to live with the rest of your life if you get together. I always think about this with my hubby and I've never met his EXs which is a good thing but being your cousin I'm sure you'll see her often

Do you live together?

Does he live by himself?

Does he still live with his parents?

The best way to tell if a guy is hardworking etc is the condition of the house if he's living by himself.

How long has he been working and was there any other prior employment which didn't work out and why?

Does he currently help you ith the housework?

It's the little things that also count

It's good and great to be in love but unfortunately love is blind and causes us to be ignorant to the point of stupidity. Which at times is  a good thing though or you'll never take risks ^^

After all that if you're happy with him as he is (It's hard to change people once you're committed there is also no such thing as changing them after marriage either) then go ahead and introduce them. He has to be ready as well and he'll have to learn to compromise with your parents regarding this. Mine had to prove his worth so to speak

It might take the rest of his life and he'll have to accept this

Answer 4

Can you really trust this guy?