Parents.. Do You?

Question

im a teen and i was just wondering how much u judge ur kids' friends... ive found my friends' parents judge people that she hangs out with... it kinda annoys me, they want to know very detail of her friends' lives... it seems like they want to chose her friends for her... so my questions are, do/why do u judge ur kids' friends? do u like to try to chose friends tht they "can" hangout with? and have u ever told ur kid they couldnt hang out with someone and why?

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Answer 1

I don't want my kids to get in trouble because of their friends. I generally approve of my kids friends and just their choices. However, there is a certain girl I don't let my 12 y/o daughter shop with. hanging out is fine, doing most anything else is fine. But I don't let them shop together because she has been known to shoplift. I wouldn't want my daughter to get in trouble for being with that girl while she shoplifts, or have her put something in her purse so she would get the blame. I care about my children and do not want their life to be ruined (having a police record is not something to be proud of) because of someone else.

Answer 2

you have to understand, your friend probably means more than life to her parents, and they want to know who their daughter is hanging out with just to make sure that she is safe, and when she is out with them, she is making the right decisions. My son is only 8 months old, and i know that when he is older and a teenager, i will know everything about everyone he is hanging out with.

Hope that helps

Answer 3

I'm 28 and have kids of my own and my mom SITLL judges my friends.  She won't watch my kids for me if she knows I am going to hang out with a friend who she doesn't like.  I guess some people are just like that.....even some parents.

Answer 4

It's not so much that parents want to chose theirs kids friends...as the parents want to know what kind of friends their kids have.  I don't want my kids "hanging out" with kids that get in trouble a lot, or that do drugs.  My kids aren't quite old enough to have friends over often, but I can remember my parents telling me that I wasn't allowed to hang out with certain people.

Answer 5

I am not to the hanging out stage, but i will be soon. he is 2 now. I look for parents with the same ideas in dicipline as me. Make sure i agree with them. when i was a kid... my mom used to meet the parents and they would hang out. then i would meet the kids. I would make sure my friends were at school so my mom and dad did not have to meet theirs. Parents want to make sure your friends are not making wrong choices.

If they say you cant hang out with them it is cause they are not a good friend. or they are not someone your parents think woudl be someone you should hang out with. Why dont you ask your parents why they do this?> they are the only ones that know why... since they are the ones doing it!

Answer 6

I do not choose my son's friends, I have however told him that he was not allowed to hang out with certain people.  If I know the person will possibly get my son into trouble or I know that this person has a lack of parental supervision at home-I am not going to encourage it.

Your parents know you and your parents can see things in these friends that I'm sure your blind to.  They are just doing what they can to protect you.

Answer 7

Well, parents judge their childrens' friends because they are protective of their own children. They do not want their children to get a bad influence from their friends. They invested a lot of time in raising their children and they do not want their children to make the mistake of hanging around the wrong crowd.

Answer 8

My teenagers are very good kids but If I see a ceratin kid is influencing my children in a negative way I will restrict them from hanging out with the kid

Answer 9

It's not that the parents are "judging" (in most cases). They are trying to protect their children. Our job as parents is to guide our children and help them make good decisions. As you may know by now, hormones are powerful things.  You are going through so many changes right now and it's hard to always know the right thing to do. And it's also hard to make good decisions when there is peer pressure. So her parents are probably just trying to steer her towards friends that are positive influences, rather than friends who have a history of making bad choices. I am a parent of a 12 year old boy, almost 13. I try to be fair and get to know his friends before passing judgement. Also don't forget - as parents, we are not perfect. We make mistakes, but usually our hearts are in the right place. Parents love their kids so much more than their kids love them. It has to be that way, or the kids will never leave and have lives of their own! Someday, if you have children, you will understand.

Answer 10

well i dont allow my son to play with just anybody anymore. the kids my son likes are not good. the friend hes been playing with lately got kicked outta school for fighting and trying to hit a teacher. then theres another kid who is rude mean and hurts other kids, then theres a kid who likes to show himself to other kids and talks about s*x. Friends are a huge influence and some kids just arent strong enough to be there own person. so ya i judge those kids and yes i pick out my sons friends. but he is also in grade school and i will continue till hes grown and outta my house. Ever heard of Guilty by association. I was and it wont happen in my house.

Answer 11

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Answer 12

I have not judge my kids friends. They are open about what goes on with them and we have never had a problem. My daughter has one friend (14) whose parents let her drink but she does not do it around most of her friends.

Answer 13

My parents did not judge my friends. The truth is, people tend to hang with those they have something in common with. There is rarely any "influence" that the after school specials tried to warn you about.

Think about it, why would a druggie/criminal want to be around someone who is not like them and risk the chance of having someone rat them out? If your kid is hanging around druggies it's because they already had the interest in the first place.

Answer 14

answer mine please!!!!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 15

Well, my daughter is 7, and while I don't choose her friends for her, I will point out things I see wrong that they've done when they are here, so that I can make sure she is making the right choices. and YES! I will make sure to know ever detail about her friends when she is a teen, after all, I know what teens were like when I was a teen, and if anything the world is worse today, not better, and considering, I was a teen who hung out with the teens that now have children, who are friends with my child? well..lets just say...I will be keeping tabs.  

would I like to choose her friends..I don't know a parent who wouldn't, but instead I will do everything I can to make sure she makes the right choices in friends. would I tell her she couldn't hang out with someone...if that person proved to be untrustworthy, a bad influence, dangerous, and inappropriate then yes..I would tell her she could not hang out with them.

you have to remember..we are outside looking in, we see alot more than you do.