Parents: Do you think it's appropriate to let your kids/teens to make their own decisions most of the time?

Question

At what age, and to what extent?

Answer 1

Kids should always have just a little bit of freedom. Even if it's just the smallest thing, like letting a toddler choose between two outfits for the day, or an older, school aged child choose what to have in their lunchbox on school days. A child's freedom should grow not only with their age, but also the maturity level of the child. Just because one 14 year old is allowed to watch PG-13 movies, doesn't mean that ALL 14 year olds should be able to watch them. Personally, I think it's important to have constant supervision over your child's life, but always give a little room for them to make their own decisions. Reason being that if they have no experience making decisions and deciding between good decisions and bad decisions, they will not be independent enough to efficiently make their own decisions in their adult lives. Kids need guidance and structure, but they also need to be left alone sometimes, even in the toughest of times, so that they can be a productive, functioning adult one day. It's called tough love, and it can be the hardest thing to do in the world when you're a parent, but sometimes the thing your child needs from you the most is to be left alone. That being said...

It's really a personal decision how much freedom to give your child. Some parents give too much, which can be bad for obvious reasons, and some give too little, which can also be detrimental to a child because it can lead to them feeling manipulated and oppressed. It may also give the child the impression that they are not trusted by the parents. I think a little bit of pull, a little bit of slack makes just the right combination. That way, your child knows that he/she is trusted and that his/her parents have enough confidence in them to let them make their own decisions, and trust that it will be a good one. It also lets them know that if they're ever in a bind that's just a little too complicated for them on their own, they'll always have someone to turn to.

Good luck, I hope I was helpful!

Answer 2

to an extent..  just depends on what its about, and how mature the kid is.

For example.. I think kids of any age should choose their own clothes, as long as its something appropriate to wear (if its against school dress code rules, then its innapropriate).

I think its a good idea to let kids help with meal planning from an early age.. let them help pick a dinner to prepare one or two nites a week from an early age (6-8 years).. Parents can help younger kids learn what's a healthy balanced diet.. as kids become pre-teens they can actually prepare a few meals a week.

There's alot of other things that will come up that requires someone to make a decision.  It just depends on the situation and how mature the kid is.  Kids do need to learn decision making skills tho.. they need to learn that for each decision there is a consequence..  for example if you stay up till 2 am on a school nite, then you will be very tired the next day at school.  Parents should give kids some freedom of choices with guidance so they can learn these skills as they become an adult.

Answer 3

hi,

uhm, i'm 14 and i kno this is supose to be answered specifically by adults with kids, but i think it's right to hear what young adults have to say.

you know as we grow older and hit puberty, our moods change and

some of us likely mature and can handle difficault situations.

it really depends on your child wether you think its an a appropriate time. Have you been having a peaceful non-violent relationship with with your child? Has he/she never let you down on something important such as taking care of the younger siblings without a crazy secret party? DO they make good choices most of the time or always?

you have to first analize your child and really from heart, you'll know they can make their own decisions and end up on the good side of the path.

for age, i suggest from anywhere to 13-17 (if they can handle it or not mature enough)

for what types of situation would you let them choose, is :

it's up to your child.

Answer 4

Yeah, I'm not a parent...but I'm 15. When I started middle school my parents let me make decisions about school and stuff and had homework and stuff be my responsibility and stopped bugging me about it. When I started high school they stopped making a big deal about what time I went to bed and stuff. My mom still doesn't allow me to hang out with my guy, or let me make any decisions about guys. But, all forbidding me from seeing him does is make me sneak around with him. But, mostly, my parents started letting me make my own decisions around 12/13. And even more around 14/15.