Parents: How do you react when your child gets hurt?

Question

just wondering.

i know a family friend who can't see her child's blood (minor injuries included) without getting physically sick. on the other hand, my mom can pretty much handle everything...nothing freaks her out. maybe scares her but she's still able to function.

Answer 1

Well, this may sound harsh, but my rule is....if you aren't bleeding and nothing is broken....go on about your business!  I do that because I hate to see parents overreact to a tiny little thing and the kids become really whiny.  I feel that minor scrapes are just part of growin up and nothing to get all worked up about.  For "real" situations that involved blood or serious injury, nothing phases me.  I am a home health nurse so I'm kind of used to seeing that sort of thing.  I still stay as calm as I can, because I think that if a child sees the parent all upset, the child will become more upset than is necessary.

Answer 2

i'm there with smile's response.........i just hurry up to try to alleviate my daughter's pain or i will start to cry.........i hate seeing her hurt..i'd rather it be me.......

Answer 3

If its just a little bump or something, im fine, tend to just brush it off and not really react. My sons almost 1 and hasnt had a bleeding injury yet, which is great. I picked him up after work one day and he had a big briuse on his face where he fell on a toy while crawling - i was bawling my eyes out - didnt worry him though. That had a bit more to do with me feeling guilty that i both my parter and i have to work financially and i wasnt there to 'protect' him. The other week hes been sick and was on antibiotics which really made his little bum so red - changing him was awful cos he was so upset, wiping him down there must have hurt him so much - daddy was doing it one time and i was in there trying to calm him and i had to leave the room! i was in tears, it was awful seeing him in pain! Oh and for his shots, daddy holds him cos i cant and i cry too lol. I think im just a big sook really lol

Answer 4

I am able to function and don't panic. I've seen my son's arm bent out of shape after he fell out of a tree at his friends house and broke his arm. I rode with him in the ambulance and was calm enough to joke with him about how he wouldn't have to do school work for awhile since it was his right arm. I was able to keep him calm. I think that's important.

As far as small things I tend to stand back and wait to see how they are before I go running over. I think when parents do that they just scare the child and that is what gets the child freaking out and crying.

Answer 5

When my son bumps his head or skins his knee he looks to me for a reaction.  I stay calm and ask him if he's ok and usually he will say yes and I can handle without a dramatic scene.  I clean up his scrap, kiss the boo-boo, and make it better.  

Now if it's a serious injury (such as the time he accidently fell into the fire place corner and got a nice gash on his head) then I will rush over immediately and make sure he's ok, alert and oriented.  Then I will act accordingly as calmly as possible.

I believe 99% of the time your child sees the way to react by the way you as the parent react.  If you freak out, they freak out.  If you stay calm, they will learn to stay calm.  I choose to stay as calm as possible and still remain caring and sensitive.

Answer 6

wow that sucks u cant see your kids get injured literary

Answer 7

I totally agree with crissy... bruises and scrapes are a part of growing up. The kid has to be tough...wether its a boy or girl.

but <-- theres a limit...like when I got stabbed and my dad said I had to wait till morning to get stitches..... thats pushing it too far.

Answer 8

Being a parent you can't freak when your child gets hurt. If they see Mommy freaking out they are NOT going to remain calm. It is just part of growing up. There are going to be scrapes and bruises, and possibly stitches and broken bones. It makes me really sad and scared when my son does something that scares the **** out of me, but I don't freak out about it.

Answer 9

I'm with the first responder on this one. If my kids aren't bleeding or have something broken, then I usually just brush it off and tell them to get up and move about their business. I know that sounds cruel, but I've seen so many mothers who freak out and make gasping noises when they child just has a little tumble, then the child starts wailing when they probably wouldn't have because of the parent's reaction. If they're bleeding, I cringe a little but I don't show any sort of reaction except for being very calm so that I don't scare my kids.

Answer 10

My daughter is 9 months old, and while she doesn't fall and scrape her knees yet, so does fall and hit her head quite a bit (totally normal). I know i might get some thumbs down for this one but i try to ignore her as much as i possibly can. I do not give her any unnecessary attention because then she is prone to "fake" certain injuries. If she falls pretty hard and starts crying uncontrollably of course i pick her up and console her but if she starts to whine, i ignore her to let her know it is ok. If your friend overreacts to a little blood, then she might not be able to give her child the attention that it needs when no one else is around to help. She needs to overcome her queasiness and smack a band aid on it an assure her child that it is ok to fall down and to just get back up and continue to play.

Answer 11

Okie dokie some people don't understand why I do this but...when my girls get hurt now I tell them to wipe it off and get back in the saddle. If the injury is not severe then there is nothing to freak out about because all you are going to do is freak the child out even more because its on them,not you. When my first daughter was starting to get mobile she had her fair share of tumbles and falls that(at the time) a new parent would freak out about but after about the third or fourth fall or bump or scrape I told her to wipe it off and I would put I bandaid on it and she did...she would brush off her owie and go about her business....same with my second daughter...she is just now getting the hang of walking and tends to fall sometimes but never anything serious so I tell her the same thing and she does the same as her sister.

If the sore or whatever is severe then I will take the proper actions needed such as doctors or hospital visits...like my first daughter was running threw the house and literally FLEW into a chair and had a bump on her head the size of a large boiled egg so I took her to the doctor seeing as she acted the same way she always has after it happened and docs say to only take them to the hospital if the child acts lethargic or sluggish and not themselves....the doc said she was just fine although she may have a massive headache for a while...I didn't let her sleep for 6 hours after she bumped it just in case she may have had a concusion but rather than that she was good to go.

My children(like many others in the world) are very clumsy so to freak out over every little scrape or bruise or bump would just make them go hostile everytime they fell down or ran into something and I don't want them to live a life in fear of falling down or getting hurt.

All in all if its nothing severe or fatal they get right back up and continue doing what they were like nothing happened because I have taught them that every little scratch is nothing to freak out about(but if they wanna cry I still let them but still tell them that its alright and won't kill them). I seriously can handle just about any kind of sore,owie,and boo boo there is...its my husband that still has the mini heart attacks everytime one of the girls take a hike while playing.

Answer 12

If they start to cry, I see how bad it is first. If it's nothing then I change the subject and they forget all about it-they are tough girls though the only time they'll cry over getting a lil booboo is when their tired. If it's bleeding then they hold their band aid  while I clean it and they like to help put the band aid on when I'm done. I don't overreact to anything and that helps them to get over it alot quicker. My cousin likes to overreact and because of that her son cries over anything.

Answer 13

My first reaction is *fix it mode.* I automatically grab ice, towels, bandages whatever. I proceed to try and calm and fix the situation all the while trying not to faint. It kills me and shocks me when they are hurt.

My second phase is crying and saying, "I'm so sorry." over and over even though i have nothing to do with it. I just apologize and hug them and keep asking if they are Okay.

Then I go into babying mode. Getting ice cream, Tylenol and cuddling.

I think sometimes it hurts me more when they bruise or fall down.

Answer 14

If it's something minor, like falling or tripping without real injuries, my mom would go "Wow! Cool fall! How'd you do that?" to distract us from the pain and make us feel like hero's for surviving the fall.

With more serious injuries she would comfort us and get us a piece of chocolate and tend to the wounds. Nothing seems to phase her. She had to take care of my sister's foot when she stepped on a  belt and the little bar on the buckle went into her foot.

I've wiped out on bikes and ripped up my knees pretty badly. Once on a camping trip my cousin (not technically her child, but we're all very close) wiped out on his bike going down a hilll and was just covered in blood, with a gash in his side and cuts all over his arms and legs. My mom helped clean out all of his injuries and bandage him up. Then she made jokes and acted silly to cheer him up and took us all out to eat.

I think my sister and I just got injured too often for her to get worked up over it. Besides, when she was younger she managed to step on ever rusty nail in her town and her mom had to pull each one out, so I guess it's just a part of parenting.

Answer 15

I have always had the "no freak outs" policy! A child will over-react to every little thing if his/her parents do. If my daughter gets hurt, I stay calm, take care of the situation & when no one is around & everything is okay, THEN & ONLY THEN I fall apart! I can't stand it when people cause their kids to freak out over every little thing.