Parents: How would you react to this situation?

Question

Let's say you have a 9 year old who attends a home daycare. While he is in the bathroom, he notices that another boy (8 years old) is looking at him using the toilet through the bathroom window. The 8 year old peeping Tom climbed up the side of the house to peek in the bathroom. It was a 1st floor bathroom. The 9 year old runs out of the house and fights with the 8 year old. The daycare provider hears what is going on and breaks it up. The 8 year old is crying. The daycare provider tells him that it's his own fault for peeking through a window while someone is on the toilet.

What would you do if you were the parent of the 9 year old? What would you do if you were the parent of the 8 year old? The 2 boys are not related so different parents. Do you think the daycare provider handled the situation well? Opinions please.

In case you're wondering the 8 year old knew someone was on the toilet. The other kids and daycare provider were in the backyard playing.

Answer 1

I think that both children were wrong and the caregiver should have addressed that.  

The peeper should be talked to about privacy and respect of others.  The ... umm... "wizzer? "... should be talked to about controlling his temper.

Answer 2

I think that the 8 year old was harshly treated and didn't get a good explanation.  It would have been better to calmly explain to him that peeping in the bathroom window is an invasion of peoples privacy.  I don't think that this behavior was deviant or "pervy".  He more than likely thought he was being funny and showing a little curiosity. If no body bothers to explain "personal privacy" to him he'll probably just this there's something wrong with him.  As for the 9 year old. It's normal for him to be embarrassed and he should expect and apology from the 8 year old.  I think that blowing this out of proportion with the other kids will cause the 8 year old to have a stigma.  These kids are old enough to have the information necessary to see the problem in the situation.

Answer 3

if i was the parent of the nine year old i would say his response was very normal but next time something like this happens you must tell an adult you trust.

if i was the parent of the eight you old i would explain privacy and that its not ok to look beyond closed doors i would explain that its against the law to do those things. it really enforces the rules for small children and has worked wonders to keep my three boys out of trouble.

i think the day care provider was correct to tell the eight year old(peeper) that it was his fault for looking.

with that said the nine year old who faught the older boy should be told that his actions are not ok and that its never ok to hurt somebody

remember though these are just little children  just keep an eye out if this happens again then it will become serious

Answer 4

I myself am a day care provider and I believe what she did was something I would say in regards to the situation.  Come on now, they are boys who are 8 and 9!  They are going to do stuff like that.  And I wouldn’t be using the word peeping Tom, it seems irrational to use in this situation.

Answer 5

I would start by breaking up the fight and seperating the boys at least out of earshot. Telling them to sit down where they are. I would ask one boy what had happen and get his side of the story and than get the side of the other. Once I figured a pretty good just of what happened I than would tell both boys where they should have handled the situation better. Such as tell the 8 year old that he should not be look through the windows of the house and than tell the 9 year old that even though Tom did this to you. You should never start a fight you should ALWAYS ask the grown up for help and than ask them to apologize where they went wrong.

Answer 6

Kids do all kinds of stupid things, even when they know they shouldn't so, although no one wants to condone violence it think in this case it's justified because the 8 yr old knew what he was doing was wrong and paid the consequence for invading someone else's privacy.  I wouldn't be too harsh on the sitter but I would personally ask that the her to add either curtains or some kind of covering to prevent this situation happening again.

Answer 7

She didnt do anything wrong. Well, fighting is never right and should never be condoned but...both parents need to have talks with their children one about peeping and the other about fighting. I dont think its too serious just boys being boys really.

Answer 8

If I were the parents of the 9 year old I might just pull my kid out of the daycare because they should have had a curtain on the window. The 8 year old needs to be told how wrong that was to do and if he continues to do things like that he needs to be kicked out of the day care. I don't know that kid did deserve for the other boy to be angry so it is hard to punish the 9 year old.

Answer 9

I agree 100% with Orion.

Answer 10

there needs to be a conversation to find out what the 8 year old was doing peeping and the 9 year old needs to know that you cant solve problems with hitting. So no she didnt handle things well.

Answer 11

i would have a talk with them and see what they were doing