Parents: What would you do if your 14 yr old came home saying "she's pregnant"?

Question

How would u deal what would u do ... esp. if she was a student on the honor roll and into student activities....would u make her get an ab. This really drives me wild...my lil sis is pregnant...AND 14!!! My parents raised us well how can she do this to us????

It is NOT our fault she chose to spread her legs out there ...I just dont get it

Answer 1

Let her know that abortion is an option but if she doesn't want to don't make her you never know what kind of damage that could do to her. Unfortunately things like this happen and the only thing you can do is support her and love her. Let her know what a huge mistake it was but always remember that one day it'll all be alright.

Answer 2

Have you come to think yet that she is carry your niece or nephew and also your parents grandchild.. I was only 18 when I got pregnant not14 but it's very scary not knowing what is about to happen and what her body with go through it's hard and facing labor and delivery and or c-section. Imagine you being her and facing that. And not having the daddy be there for her. I hope you change how you think b/c when that baby is born and I PRAY HARD she will not get an abortion. you will regret what is going through your mind and whether you ara married our not even though God wants marriage first like me had s*x before marriage which is a sin but NO child is a mistake. God has a purpose for every child here on our earth.  

Answer 3

Last time I checked, there are three options.

Terminate,

Adopt, or

Raise

Answer 4

Well, i'd be feeling the same way you are.

Answer 5

No, I would never make her get an abortion. That is wrong. I would let her have the baby, but give it up for adoption. An open adoption if possible, so she can see the kid at some points in its life. Good luck.

Answer 6

woah your her sister?!

d**n your being a tad harsh if i was pregnant i would need someone with me most of her friends might not be there for her...i would think she would need you

d**n step up to the plate and help your little sister out...

dont be so harsh and say **** like it is not our fault she chose to spread her legs out there....

she messed up it happens!

but your not helping matters

she probally is scared i would be just be understanding not like you can change it...she is a teenager and her hormones got to her......

be a good sister and be there dont talk **** about her

she seems like a good girl at heart...that made one mistake that was big

Answer 7

Theres nothing you can do but accept it it happened and nothing you can do to change it

Answer 8

I would be confused if it was my daughter because she is 12 and even if she was 14 she is a Christian girl and pledged to be abstinent until marriage so...that would be very strange and I would wonder if she was sure.

If it did happen, I would not worry about the past -- how it happened and why -- but help her focus on the future, having a healthy pregnancy and giving her baby up for adoption by a loving family, then going on with her life.

Answer 9

Well, make sure she hasn't been raped first. But it's her choice, I personally would not like for her to get an abortion unless it has something to do with medical issues. I would only look into adoption as a last resort.

And as her sister, you shouldn't be putting her down. The way you are saying it is horrible. It's just mean. You should be there with her, and help her through everything.

I understand how you feel, you just need to be there with her every step of the way. Offer your help to her now, so she wont go and do something stupid again.

Answer 10

Wow!

I have never heard anything more selfish!

Think of what she's facing.

Think of how terrified she has to be.

Think of the heartbreaking, gut wrenching decisions she'll have to make.  Even if she keeps the baby, life will be HARD!!

Have a little compassion.

Answer 11

I can understand why you are so upset.  Maybe your sister feels the lack of love from somewhere.  I really don't think that she intentionally tried to hurt you guys.  Not every bird in the flock flies as high as the others.  Your sister made her own decision and she is going to have to live with them.  All you can so as a sister is try to be supportive.  But to answer your question...I think I would flip out.  I wouldn't make her get an abortion but try to prepare her for a hard lesson learned.  Your sister is going to need you in the long run.

Answer 12

love, its still a baby. its still part of your family and her blood. love her, love the baby, and help her through it. put it up for adoption if you have to. I'm not fond at all of abortion. thats all you can do, she made the choice, not you and not her parents, now she will have to live with it. It wont ruin her life, believe it or not it will make it fuller and livelier.  

Answer 13

You don't say your age, but you do say you are her sister.  Sounds like you are trying to be more like her mom.  You need to just be there for her and support her.  No i never believe abortion should be an option ever!!  I do believe there are many families waiting to adopt a beautiful baby if she can not handle it, but that needs to be her decision.

Answer 14

  Cry and cry and cry some more.  I would want to know if the father is over 18.  I would not want to have the baby killed.  I guess I would start buying baby stuff and get a room ready for the new member of the family. Put her on BC pills, have baby daddy do his part.  Make lil sis do all of the taking care of baby, no more school activities, she would have to continue going to school, my gosh baby will be approx. 4 yrs old when she graduates high school.  Does your parents know yet?  Pray about it.  Everything will turn out fine, you will be a  good Aunt.  

Answer 15

Why does everyone have to say "its not my fault she spread her legs" that sounds so trashy.  You cant make anyone get an abortion, by law she has to agree to one along with your parents.  Honestly after all the crying, i would support her.  I would encourage her to give that baby up for adoption, give her the pros and cons of everything.  I wont make her do anything against her free will, but I wont let it slide either.  She's still my daughter and I'll still love her.  And what do you mean "how could she do this to us" you know, you make it soud like its all about you, and poor you.  What are you going to do.  Its not your problem, get over it, and get off your high horse and help your sister.

Answer 16

A) shes just 14, and is figuring out what to do with herself. take it easy on her, she probably feels horrible that she is causing you distress. just be the good big sis and help her through it.

B) DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT ABORTION!!! every life is sacred, unborn or not, did you knoew that at like 2 weeks in the womb, a baby already has a heart beat? it would be murder, and scar your sister for life, it will haunt her forever. just be there for her. i know yuor shocked and angry and upset, but more htan anything, she needs you, not only as a big sis, but as a friend she can confide to. now go give that girl a hug and let her know you may be unhappy, but your sisters, and nobody, and nothing can EVER take that away, even anger or shock.  

Answer 17

she didnt do it to you......

you have no right to judge if you were brought up that well you would know that. your her sis and i guess right now she would be needing you to turn to and ask for advice.... hae you ever thought she might feel like she screwed up and needs a shoulder to cry on. i was a young mum (19) and i saw lots of 13,14 and 15 yr olds having babys you need to be there for her dont judge her enogh people will be doing that talk to her see what she wants and how she feels you may relise she feels just like you do....and if nothing else help her through it as no matter what SHE chooses to do it has to be her decission and no one elses as is you tell her what to do and she does it she may forever go on hating you for making her choose to have an ab it is a hard thing to go through without being forced or tricked by loved ones into doing it stay strong..... what will be will be  

Answer 18

While I would be enraged at her for making such a stupid mistake after we've told her repeatedly to stay abstinent or at least use protection, I would support her and either help her raise the baby or give it up for adoption. Then I would get a lead pipe and find out where the baby's father lives, and pay him a "visit".

Answer 19

i kind of understand what you're going through....i went through something  similar.  

You need to forgive her, and then help her; be there for her if she needs to talk, pray for her, etc.  Not easy, but doable.

i believe that abortions are very wrong, and there's always the adoption.

Just hang in there!  Keep from getting bitter.  Remember that she's your sister and that you love her, even if her actions weren't all that smart.  

Answer 20

If your old enough to play you are old enough to pay. Thing never happen the way the are suppose to. Be there for her and be behind her what ever she decided she really need you right now. I bet she also feels pretty bad now.    

Answer 21

i would def be pissed off but i'd hug her and just let her know i will be there for her and whatever she chooses to do to keep the baby or adopt the baby out and no sorry in my book abortion is not an option but that's how i was raised my dad even said if you're 15 adn come home preg you still wont get an abortion if you dont want to the responsibility of a baby then you adopt it out. she's going through just as hard as a time as all of you guys are just be there for her most of her friends wont be there for her i can say that much right now and what she needs is someone who isnt her mom/dad to be there to talk to.

Answer 22

Your little sister probably didn't think pregnancy could happen to her...and I bet the pregnancy was totally unplanned.  If you are Catholics, abortion isn't really an option...she could see her doctor and discuss this option but if everyone keeps pushing her hard, she will probably go the other way.  If she does book in to a special abortion clinic, she will be counselled to make sure it is a decision she is comfortable with.  The operation is not traumatic...it's like having a heavy period.

Many teenagers, especially the under-16s, are reluctant to go on the pill or carry condoms for fear of being found out by parents or teachers, or being labeled, or as you so eloquently put it "spread her legs".  We live in a society where s*x is pushed at kids in every way, but then they're told they're too young to have s*x.  They are too afraid to approach their family doctor or a chemist for proper contraception because of embarassment or fear.  Who knows, maybe your sister bought condoms but lacked the confidence and assertiveness to make her partner use them.  Condoms aren't real cheap neither.

During the '50s and '60s, teen pregnancy usually led to adoption, backyard abortion (nasty), or a shotgun wedding.  Young, unmarried mothers faced much greater social stigma than they do today.  They had little in the way of government financial aid or social services, and were often treated as social and family outcasts.

I hope the father of your sister's baby wants to take an active parenting role...I hope he dosen't flee from responsibility and commitment.

Your sister may have to leave school because the hierarchy won't want to be held responsible if anything happens to her in the school grounds.

She may not know anything about having babies or nutrition or anything like that.  I hope for her sake, her parents are really supportive.  Is mum prepared to look after baby if she wishes to continue her schooling?  Will your sister do part-time jobs to support herself and baby?  It's going to be difficult but it's really important nowadays to have qualifications.  Will her baby have a stable home life, if she moves out of home?  Will she cope, working and studying whilst looking after baby?  Will she able to afford the rent or childcare/babysitters?  She may be able to get family allowance and a subsidy from a single mother's pension.

I'm sure she will love her baby but there is a negative side...lonely days sitting by herself, lack of money, not being able to go out.

I think your sister, if she decides to have the baby, will appreciate her family and friends more, not to mention socialising.  She will be more mature and responsible in everything that she does...she will put her life into perspective.

Please don't argue with her over the moral issues and stand by her, support her like you said you would.

Answer 23

Well i have a sister but shes older then me but i see her with guys and i think what may have happenned is that she was just hanging out with a guy and got carried away without thinking. she probably regrets it EXTREMELY but idk what to say. my mom is an OBGYN so i dont think she should get an abortion. apparently someone wanted her to bring a new life into the world.

Answer 24

I'm not a parent...but I'll give my input.

I think abortions are wrong.  She needs to pay for her mistakes, not make someone else (the baby) pay.

There's nothing you or your parents can do except to make sure THEY BABY gets taken care of.

Put it up for adoption. There are a lot of parents who want babies and can't get pregnant, or who want an addition to their family.

Your sister shouldn't have had s*x at such a rediculously young age.  

Answer 25

I would never ask someone to get an abortion.

But I would encourage an adoption in this case.  And if she doesnt, she would be working somehow to help pay.  I am not going to raise my grandchild while I am still raising my child.  If you want to keep the baby, I will help, as much as I can, but its your child, not mine.  Time to grow up.