Parents Who cares why a child behaves as long as they do?

Question

I see anti spanking people say that a child only behaves because they are scared of a spanking. Well yeah that why you do it. It is the same with grounding. They don't want to be grounded so they don't do something. I just feel spanking is more effective esspecially on younger kids. A time out on a behavior takes twice if not three times as long on a two year then a quick pop of the hand.

Answer 1

Any form of DISCIPLINE is not to scare a child, but to simply show that certain behaviors will bring about a natural, negative consequence that is UNPLEASANT (not scary)... depending on the degree of the child's behavior, we should decide what degree of punishment is warranted. As long as you gauge for your individual child, in that particular circumstance what will effectively teach them that this behavior is bad, like you said, who cares? As long as it's not abusive (which NEVER teaches discipline-abuse is the most uncontrolled response possible) then if it works for your child, DO IT! :)

I get a little annoyed with parents who flat out refuse to even try a properly administered/timed spanking when they say "nothing" works and their little 3 year old is throwing HORRIBLE fits. Sorry, but that may just be when a spanking is most needed. And time outs DO work, so does restricting from a favorite toy, making the child go to bed early, soap on the tongue (smart mouthing is a big reason we have used this), etc... it all depends on the situation and child.

Answer 2

Well you don't want your child to be terrified of you, you just want them to know who's boss, my step sister is actually scared of her parents completely because of that reason

Answer 3

Okay, looks like violet already gave the answer I was going to type.

But yes, I care why my children behave.  I'm trying to raise kids with their own strong moral compass, not just obedient robots.

Answer 4

Time-outs DO NOT work unless they are correctly implemented. Unfortantely most parents do not know how to do this.  

Answer 5

Well, who is going to ground them or spank them when they grow up?  The courts surely won't have the time.

Sure, we do pay attention to incentives - like getting our paychecks or not getting a speeding ticket - but the fact is most of us are caring and productive adults because we want to do the right thing.  Someone has taken the time to help us develop good values and moral standards. Someone has helped us learn self-control for its own sake, not because of fear of punishment.  

If we had to depend on other people to provide everyone with reasons to behave. society would be chaos.  That's why we need to care about the "why" of kids' behavior, and we need to start young.  

Answer 6

THANK YOU! that's what I have been trying to say. I agree with the second answer. I'm so sick of reading questions from parents asking what to do with their kids who are throwing fits and out of control. they have tried everything but spanking it's like well hello when something doesn't work you try something else. there are different ways to discipline kids and you don't have to spank every time I don't spank my daughter every time she does something that she needs to be disciplined for, most times it's timeout or I will take toys away but when it's needed or timeout hasn't worked she will get a spanking. yes she any child will be afraid of any type of discipline, spanking or timeout taking toys away because it's not supposed to be pleasant no child likes to be punished no matter how you punish them.

Answer 7

AMEN...LOL..You're Preaching to the CHOIR Here!

Answer 8

Props to you! I agree 100 percent!