Parents and non parents what would you do if this happened to your child?

Question

Ok say a boy picks on your daughter every single day and she has never said anything back to him and just ignores him but for some reason he enjoys being mean to her. he is in a special ed class your daughter is not hes not retarded hes just a little slower than other children. anyways one day your daughter comes home cryign and you ask why she says b.c that boy was being mean to her and called her stupid so she said im not the one in special classes so this boy goes and gets his teacher and the teacher screams in your daughters face over it and has her backed into a corner in the hallway in front of everyone until she cries. what would you do? would you be mad? would you go to the school?

Answer 1

i would go to the school right away that teacher has not right to yell at my kid the little boy was picking on her (flirting) with her but she didint like it she should have told him to stop but that still does not give that teacher any right to yell at my daughter

Answer 2

I would definitely go to the school and discuss the situation with the principal and the teacher.......yes it was not right for your daughter to comment about his being in special ed classes....and I would talk to her about that...not focusing on people's differences but trying to find things in common....but I would definitely be making sure that this kid stops picking on her....AND that the teacher understands that if she yells at my daughter like that again.....I will be going above the prinipals head and talking to the school board about her actions /attitude and that if there is any such problem..the ONLY thing that you will accept is your daughter being put in time out/detention and you being notified.......

Answer 3

I would definitely find out what happened.  If she says it happened in front of people in the hallway, see if you can call any of the other parents and find out if any of the kids will vouch that it happened.  I would also go to the principle.

Sometimes, especially sensitive kids, will feel like they were yelled at, when in fact, it was more like a stern lecture.  And kids that age have a tendency to make up stories or "see" them in a different perspective, so keep an open mind that perhaps it did not happen exactly as your daughter says it did.

Answer 4

the teacher had no right to do that and probably didnt get the whole story. i would not go off but i would after it ends up where we all know this will end up. they would probably believe the slow kid because picking on them is so common. you should have reported this first before it happened. that said, what kinda parents lets their son pick on a girl like that....shameful

Answer 5

First talk to your daughter and tell her to appoligize to the boy even though he was mean to her because that doesnt mean she needs to be mean back. Then if the boy doesnt appoligize back tell the teacher and explain what happened and tell them what you think about it without yelling or making them angry . That way the teacher could see the problem from your and your daughters point of veiw and do something about it. Also explain how your daughter appoligized and you feel that he should do the same. Tell her you think she should appoligize to your daughter for acting that way too. Make sure you talk to them and not the kid because they can get in trouble. If the teacher wont do anything immediatly talk to the principal  and explain everything again especiall how the teacher handled the situation. Now, if the princapal does nothing I think it would be okay to switch schools. I hoped this helped you. It is what I would do.

Answer 6

i would go to the school and scream in the teachers face. im not saying that its good advice or the right things to but it what i would do. i would teach my daughter to defend herself against all kinds of bullies (verbal and physical). I would teach my daughter that she doesnt have to be intimidated by anyone and that their are laws that protect her from teachers yelling at her like that. i would have a meeting with the teacher the principle the boy and his mom. i would speek to the superintindent. trust me, you make a few phonecalls and people will take notice, all it takes is one persistent parent

Answer 7

YES I vvould be livid! I'd be calling up the principle and having a talk vvith him! The teacher for one had no right to do that to your daughter, if she had a problem then she should have taken your daughter into another room and not yell at her in front of everyone. Plus if they vvant to treat your daughter like that because she picked on him then i'd be going to the school and ask vvhat punishment the boy is getting for doing the same thing to her.

Answer 8

I would go to the school and talk to who ever is high up.  No teacher has a right to scream at a child, or back them into a corner.  You should of said something before to the principal about the boy in the first place.  You need to say something now about the teacher.  However you need to talk to your daughter and tell her that she should not call people stupid especially if they are in a special ed's class.

Answer 9

Well, I am lucky in the sense that I homeschool so it will NOT happen to my child.

Had my child attended public school and this occured, I would have pulled her out to homeschool before it got to this point, as soon as I discovered that they were unable to keep the other child from bullying mine.

It is their job to protect ALL of the children.  Granted, your daughter said something she should not have but they should hav stepped up and done something long before that to curb this situation.  And, even though she said something out of line it is NOT appropriate to humiliate a student (the teacher was bullying your daughter herself).  Of course I would be mad-livid even.

I would go to the school and withdraw my child.

Answer 10

Me being me I WOULD HAVE HAD "WORDS" with this teacher. But I would have 1st told my daughter 2 tell me everything from the beginning. I would be pissed off at the teacher & my daughter 4 tolerating this. As I said b4 I would be at the school.

Answer 11

I would definitely speak with the teacher.  If she only knows what your daughter said to this boy, then yes, it definitely sounded hurtful and mean.  However, knowing the whole story, she was trying to get him to stop.  Besides, a teacher should know better than to react in the manner that she did.  Again, I would go in and speak with her about the situation.

Answer 12

Yes, I would be mad. I would first confront the special ed teacher.  Whether or not your daughter was out of line, that was very inappropriate behavior for a teacher to engage in (if it was true).  If you get the feeling that it did happen that way and the teacher is not apologetic, I would then take it to the principal.  In any event, you may want to bring the bullying issue to the school's attention as well.

Answer 13

First, explain to her that he has a little bit of a problem and probably just wants to be friends with her. She may benefit by at least saying hi to him as he may be a very lonely kid. If this doesn't work, I suggest she stay away from him as much as possible. Boys are boys and they tend to do the same thing to their sisters. I may not be nice but it isn't extremely abnormal either.

Answer 14

Yeah, i would go to the school and talk to the teacher. The teacher probably didn't get the whole story, but that is pretty harsh anyways. Just because a kid is in special ed doesn't mean it's ok for them to be mean and pick on other kids either, and I can understand your daughter finally lashing out.

Answer 15

I would be mad at my daughter for targeting a handicapped child, completely uncalled for, the bullying and unfortunately that reflects on you.  She needs to be responsible for her actions.  

On the whole I don't think any part of this was handled correctly.  When she was being picked on by him daily, I would have invited him over to play and try to mediate this situation myself, after making the teacher aware of the conflict.  Did you advise her to talk to the teacher?  

Probably he likes her, and has issues that are gaining him negative attention, but negative attention is always valued more than no attention so the behavior needs to be changed.  

It is a great teaching moment that all kids need to learn.  Conflict resolution is an important life skill.   I would have seized this opportunity.  All kids will have to be able to navigate this world with all kinds of different people, changing classes running away from the problem is not the answer.  

The ignorant teacher who is obviously allowing the problem to escalate is not going to have a feasible answer as well, so in my opinion going to the school is a waste of time.  I would go over her head and report her screaming in your child's face to the principal or whomever is next in the chain of command.  You are your child's number 1 teacher, and it is up to you to do this right.

I would email the teacher, and save it just in case.  You need to start a paper trail should things escalate further that you made an attempt to resolve this conflict.  Always cover your butt.  Also, I would have my daughter repay restitution for her wrongdoing.  How old are we talking?

I would be mad at my daughter for the low blow, I would be mad at the teacher for being inappropriate, as for the kid picking on her I would question why his behavior hasn't been addressed?  I really wouldn't be upset with the boy, his actions need to be held accountable but was anyone aware of him doing this?  Sounds like maybe not.

Answer 16

As a parent i can understand your anger. Usually boys pick on girls when they secretly like them. By being a little slow does not give him special privilegdes to be mean to your daughter. does this teacher tell him off for being mean to this girl and making her cry. no its a image clearly the school is tryin to make that every one is treated fairly more so to the special eds class so by her calling him stupid it makes the fact he picks on her irrelevant. And also shouting at her in front of everyone is not allowed in should be confronted privately. If i were you i would have this matter seen too.

Answer 17

I would talk to my daughter about how it's good and important to stick up for herself, but not by pulling someone else down.  I'd spend some time with her brainstorming better ways to deal with this kid.  Make sure that she gets that it was insulting not just to this boy who was being mean, but to other kids in special ed who aren't, and that the real issue is kindness, not intelligence.  

I'd also talk to the teacher and possibly also the principal or school counselor, making clear that I'm not defending what my daughter said and that I'm working with her on making sure she understands it was inappropriate and that she finds better ways to handle being bullied by this kid, but I'd say she really needs some support from the school to handle the ongoing bullying, as well, and I'd make sure the school started addressing it.  Usually these days the word "bullying" is enough to get schools paying attention and trying to do something.  

If the screaming stuff happened on more than one occasion, I'd address that both with the teacher themselves and with the principal.  That's out of line, of course.  If it was just a one-time thing, though, I'd focus instead on the problem of the bullying and on your daughter's behavior.

Answer 18

Report the teacher. She's an idiot. Do whatever you have to do and take every avenue you need to take to get the word out. She sounds like she's washed up and desperately needs to retire; so, with this in mind, encourage her early retirement.

Next, see if you can get your daughter transferred out of the class. If not, and that's the only class, try to get her transferred out of the school. If she's an academically inclined enough student and you can afford it, place her in private school. What would the harm be in doing that? These days, there's not enough funding per child in public school to properly educate them. Teachers are not paid enough and teachers, especially this one who's been around for a long time, work harder than ever to give each student the education that they need, relative to their abilities, etc, etc. I have many friends as teachers. They work LONG hours. Many of the ones that I know are always in a tug of war with the parents, principal, school board and students. God, how I would never want to be in the position of the teacher. It's like being a nurse. You're in the middle of a war zone ~ getting hit at all ends.

I simply would just change my child's classroom to another, if not, give her a fresh start and place her in private school.

What's she doing in school now anyway? It's summer. If it's summer school, that's easy. Summer school is almost out. Let her wait it out until it's finished and just coach her through to the end.

Good luck.

Answer 19

I would go to the school. If they're going to force my child to go there, not give her the option to choose her classes nor the option to simply LEAVE, and then fail to protect her physical and mental well-being from the very ruffians they themselves have cooped her up with, and couple this with berating her for defending herself, you bet they would get a piece of my mind.

It's just this sort of thing that vindicates my decision to home-school, and makes me glad NJ has such easy homeschooling laws.

Answer 20

I WOULD DEF. GO UP TO THE SCHOOL BUT ALSO EXPLAIN TO MY DAUGHTER THAT WHAT SHE SAID WAS NOT RIGHT.

Answer 21

I would haul that teacher's A** out into the hallway and give her a piece of my mind - or at least this would be option #2.

I would go to the school and have a "coming to Jesus party" with the principal and that teacher. She had ZERO business getting involved with your child, I would like to know why she didn't have the common courtesy to call YOU and speak to YOU about the incident - get your side without involving your daughter. Absolutely, you have to get involved and call the teacher out on her bad and wreckless behavior. I'm sorry I can't be there with you - I have put SEVERAL bad teachers (and I absolutely LOVE teachers, don't misunderstand - I so respect them! They are true heros!) in place because they have acted inappropriately with my children over the years. She needs to be reprimanded, sent to anger management and learn how to handle herself around ALL children. I would take it to the superintendant too. AND I would go so far as to demand she never be allowed within feet of your daughter, she not be allowed to talk, look at, approach, NOTHING - ever!

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 22

h**l yeah I would go to the school and demand to talk to the Principle and demand that that teacher get her a*s in the office to or I will be talking to my lawyer*they wont know if I have one or not but that doesn't matter..lol*..and the school Board..Anyway by the time I leave that school that teacher will be apologizing to my daughter in front of the whole school or she will lose her job and that I would guarantee cuz if the school didn't do anything then yeah I would be getting a lawyer to take care of my problem with her.

Answer 23

curs the teacher iut becuse  the boy   started it and shes defending the  when he  started it

Answer 24

Even if a child is special needs, it is not an excuse to be mean. And most definitely not if they are just a little slow. If a teacher ever backed my kid into a corner screaming I would be livid. And yes I would go to the school and I would not drop it. If that person cannot control their temper they have no business working with kids, let alone special ed kids. The point is it should have been addressed sooner. It is one thing to let your child stand up for themselves but this is a case of bullying and it should have been handled sooner.

I personally think the teacher should apologize to your daughter and I would start letting the school know every time this boy is mean to her.