Parents can you help me!!? Im 14 and i need some advice?!?

Question

My dad and i havent been getting along lately

Im 14 and i am the youngest of 3 kids

I also just happen to be th ONLY girl

So my dad is over protective of me,he doesnt like it when i am on the phone for very long or hen i hang out with my friends

But my 16 year old brother is with his best friend LITERALLY ervery day for hours a day

But my dad says that is different

Its just because i am the girl that my dad treats me like i am going to get knocked up by the time i am 16

He thought that talking on the hone with a guy is the beginning of me getting pregnant...thats seriously what he said...no joke

I just hate when my dad and my brother gang up on me because i am the only girl and i can never win because they will just bring up something else and what i say doesnt matter

And my dad lets my brother say whatever he wants to me

And when i say why does he get to say that?

My dad just says "you bring it upon yourself"

I just need to know how to stop the conflict with my dad?

Answer 1

Well the best way to solve this problem is to tell your dad. Give him the facts how you are smart and will not do risky things like that. I'm 14 too and i had the SAME exact problem. Also, tell him how hurt you are that he would think that you would do something like that. If he still doesn't get it, give him the silent treatment or ask your closest woman relative to talk to him. Hope i helped... Good luck!

Answer 2

it sounds like your dad doesn't know how to deal with a 14 year old girl. because he has never been there, just like you . you need to remember you are his #1 girl .he is just concerned about whats best for you.dad dates are a really good time for the two of you to stay close.something special going on in your area mabye? look in the newspaper , hand it to your dad tell him to take u out.tell ur brother if you can't say something nice .............you know good luck remember lots of girls don't have what you do

Answer 3

im 14 too and i have the same problem. my parents are divorced and me and my brother live with our daddy and stepmom. my older brother is 16 also and he pretty much has all the freedom in the world. when Justin is out with his friends there are times we wont here from him for hours and apparently thats ok. but when im out with my friends i have to call and check in every hour or 2 and if i dont, my daddy makes me come home.

im not allowed to be on the phone past 10pm. even tho i have my own cell phone. i still text all night tho without my dad knowing,lol.  it seem like i have all the limitations placed on me and my brother has none. now im not saying he never gets in trouble cuz he does, but it seems like he can do whatever he pleases and my dad accepts it. its annoying and unfair. but thats the price i pay for being the only daughter.

my brother and i bicker like crazy all the time(we really do love each other tho and are actually really close but if you didnt know us you'd never know,lol)) and we say mean stuff to each other all the time. my daddy never really takes sides in that aspect of things but if we're driving him crazy, we both get in trouble. thats  pretty much the only time we're on an even playing field.

my brother drives race cars so him and my daddy spend a lot of time together working on his car and i feel slighted. i feel like he favors Justin over me and wants to spend all his time with him. that hurts me pretty bad.

sooo heres what i did. i waited til my brother was out with his friends and i had to be home early(of course) and talked to my daddy alone. i told him that im good kid, im more mature then Justin(even tho he's 2 years older), i get good grades in school and that i dont really get in trouble. then i said that its not fair that Justin gets to do whatever he wants to, stay out til whenever he wants(well not really whenever he wants, he does have a curfew, but he's usually late) and he doesnt get in trouble. but if i broke curfew by like 10-15 minutes i'd be grounded for sure. that actually got his attention and we talked for a while. i told him everything i just told you. he actually agreed with me and he eased up quite a bit. and to my surprise he actually tightened up some on Justin. he told me that im his baby girl and that knowing what im doing and where i am makes him have to worry just a little bit less then he usually does. i understand that and we really worked out a compromise.

he gave me a little more freedom and in return i have to tell him where im going, how long im gonna be there and who im going with. if we change our minds and go somewhere else i have to call and let him know. but i dont have to check in every hour anymore. i can live with that.

he even gives me more of his time rather then spending it working on my brothers race car. i love that. and sometimes i even help them with the car.

i also started keeping a "daddy diary" which is where i write the stuff that i know he wants to know and i let him and my stepmomma read it. its not the same as my regular diary. i write about my day and some of the stuff im thinking about and stuff like that in it. it lets them into my world and eases their minds without them knowing my really personal stuff that i write in my diary.

i know i wrote a novel here but i was trying to give you some advice on maybe what you could do about your situation. cuz i totally understand. good luck.

Answer 4

That happens to me too. My brother gets to hang out with his friends and go places. However, my mom and dad dont let me go anywhere. It bugs me alot. My dad also doesnt like me on the phone a lot either. I guess im use to it now. You should talk to your dad if it bugs you a lot. I know maybe it wont work out but its better to check. Also, its probably because ur 14 and your brother is older than you so thats why he gets more privileges

Answer 5

Well, Honey, it just may be that you'll have to talk to a teacher or coach, you don't mention a Mom.  Until you are able to get some adult help-someone needs to talk to your Dad-it would probably be best if you tried to avoid any conflict by walking away when they start to gang up on you.  It may be that your Dad is feeling over-protective of you because you are the youngest.  I'm sure he knows that you can't get pregnant talking on the phone, but he may of overheard you say something that concerned him. No reason to talk back. just go outside or into your room and stay calm.  Things will get better.

Try not to go down to your brothers level, he sounds like a bully, just walk away and be the better person.

Answer 6

Your dad is always going to be different with you, he's a guy and knows what most guys want. But you need to let him know that you have a good head on your shoulders and will make the right decisions, you won't let any guy take advantage of you, or violate you ever! Tell him you love him and appreciate him being protective, but you also need some freedom too. If he keeps you to protected you'll just rebel and then he'll have a real prob. TALK TO HIM!!

Answer 7

you seriously need to talk to your dad alone and tell him these issues your having. if he doesn't listen tell him that mostly all the girls that don't talk to their parents talk to their boyfriends and have a greater chance of getting pregnant(its true!) make sure when you talk to your dad nobody else is around to intrude. If this doesn't work, go to your mom and talk to her so she can make your dad see what he's doing to you. One last thing, when your brother talks to you like that, do the same to him to see how he likes it and if your dad gets mad at you, tell him "he brought it upon himself" haha :)

Answer 8

I think maybe you should ask your dad if you could talk in private and insure in your dad that you are not thinking about having s*x you just have guy friends and as you get older you are going to have more guy friends so he needs to suck it up and chill but find a nicer way to say it. he is only looking out for his baby girl cause you can get pregnant easily I know cause i had my first child at 15 so just listen to him and be open with him and maybe you 2 can come up wit a plan so you both can be happy. Hope I was some help Bye p.s tell your brother to butt out and get a life (ha ha ha)