Parents do you feel this is a temporary fix?

Question

As a child and part of my youth there were times when my parents punished me severly with the strap and the wooden spoon on my hand or my knuckles. Ironically this treatment did not make me and my siblings better people or any more well behaved and one of my siblings was hit so much she severly rebelled.

My question is do you feel that corporal punishment and hard spankings really solve anything or do you feel it is a temporary fix for the parent?

I forgive my parents for what they have done and in some cases failed to do but what advice do you have for people who were receipents of corporal punishment?

Answer 1

A smack or two to the bottom is one thing when you need to get a child's attention, but you have to be careful.  You could go from a simple spanking to abuse.

Answer 2

no. i think spanking or a swat on the bottom might be okay when they are REALLY misbehaving, but anything out of that is wrong and totally unaffective! good luck!

Answer 3

It can be used in a way to teach, but using objects to hit does not teach anything. It is a temporary solution, that is why I feel it should only be used with younger children. (Before kindergarten). As cognitive skills develop in children, it is only a hinderence to them to continue "spanking." It is an insult to a child's intelligence to hit beyond that age. There are definitely better ways out there. It's just that when you have a two year old and can not take it anymore, one swat on the butt can put things into perspective for them.

Anyway, for those who have recieved it, I would say that your parents were probably just trying their best and thought that they were doing what was needed to teach you correctly. My advice would be to just forgive them and move on.

Answer 4

I ask myself this, "If I misbehave or lie would I like to be hit for it?"  Ask yourself that. If I broke a glass would I like to be hit for my mistake? No. So what makes parents think they should lash out (like some do at their pets) and whack a misbehaving child to correct behavior?  Pretty ridiculous to me. I get mad at mine and I want sometimes to just whack them across their heads or something but I dont because that freakin hurts and its not a solution. Pain isnt a solution..its a temporary fix for the angry person.

I dont know if corporal punishment solve things, honestly. I know it hurts and who would want to hurt their child?

Answer 5

Corporal punishment was a holdover from the older generations. I think some parents were reared this way so they did the same. Sometimes I think parents should of known better, for crying out loud, it was pain. I just know that it made me realize that I didn't want to continue the cycle. Can you forgive? Hard to say, you might be able to stop thinking about it but how do you erase the memories? It was be amazing if you could forgive, heck you could make a ton of money giving seminars!

Answer 6

i think there are better methods of punishing kids then to do physical harm

i want super nanny and their techniques really work im mean sometimes you just havev to spank your kid but not to extreme though

but by physically harming them they will act out in certain ways and be emotionally damaged and may even take it out on there kids if they get to frustrated

Answer 7

Spanking on occasion when merited is fine. I was spanked, NOT BEATEN- only a few times in my childhood, and I am no worse for it, actually ok. I have 2 older children now, but when they were younger, we only spanked them a few times. I actually don't even remember spanking them much at all.  However, with a strap and a wooden spoon that would leave a mark on the child, I feel this is close to beating.

Answer 8

I think that some parents use it not as a temp fix, but more as a way to take out their frustration on the child. I was spanked, not sure how it helped, or if it did. I do know that when I try to punish any of my kids we do the explain to me why you're getting punished, what do you think I should punish you with (grounding, time out, toys taken away, or spanking) and are you sorry speech before the punishment. They are very well behaved, and usually are more harsh with their punishments then I would have been. My three year old ran out in the street the other day without looking and nearly got hit by a car, she told me before I said anything that she thought she should get a punishment cause she almost got squished by a car and opted for a spanking. I would say if spankings and corporal punishment is done correctly and with the understanding of why it's done and not done in anger, but done with love and patience then even standing in a corner can have the same effect.

Answer 9

i personally do not agree with it also! it was the same for me growing up, and it just made me scared of my parents..not "respect" them like they said it would do! As a mother now, i strongly disagree with any physical punishment, and my daughter behaves better than i did!

Answer 10

beating a child teaches Fear not respect. Therefore it doesn't work. They kids need to learn obedience and respect. Not physical abuse.

Spankings only work if the kids know that this is the punishment for breaking the rules. If they don't know what is expected they can't live up to it.

Same with school. The kids need to know what is expected of them. Society doesn't teach them this, parents are lazy and don't tech them this. So take the kids to a church and they'll learn it there.

Answer 11

see that's the problem...your parents thought hard punishment = good citizen of the future...what it makes most of the time is angry if not dysfunctional adult...as long as you realize that not is not the norm nor should it ever be considered "the norm"...you should write a letter and send it to your parents about your real feelings regarding that horrible experiences you had as a child...I am sorry that happened to you and your siblings...that should never happen to poor little babies...so innocent...you love then and cherish them and talk with them....and yes punish when due...as a young child it should be time outs..as you get older it's stuff like taking away the TV for a couple of days...going to bed earlier...no games...computers...and as you get older...no cells..games...friends over....stuff like that...i think you know that corporal punishment is just abuse and what is it trying to solve???..you know...you lived through it...your parents should be begging for forgiveness....ask them how they would like it that you "punish" them...someday when they are real old and need you guys to help them out...for all those you suffered this just REMEMBER and move on...be a survivor not victim....and don't do to others what was done to you...get help if you cant break the cycle....learn from this...

Answer 12

Really the only thing that teaches them to be good kids is this: Giving them an Alaskan Pipeline.

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