Parents: do you often wonder if you had done something different, your children/child would have turned out

Question

better/different?

Do you have an example?

I'm not a parent yet, but when I think about being one, it drives me insane because I over-analyze decisions I would have to make, and which decision would be better. Would doing this or that make my child obey/respect this or that, or rebel against this or that?

How do you parents do it??

Answer 1

I question it everyday.  Our daughter passed away from leukemia in Feb. 2007 and I wonder everyday if there was something we could have done differently so she would never have gotten it in the first place.  Was it the apple I gave her that didn't get washed?  Was it something I ate or did during pregnancy?  Should we have chosen a different treatment method?  It can go on and on and on.  Most of time these are questions that we will never have the answers to.  We just have to trust our own judgment at that place in time.

Answer 2

well of coarse. but its hard for parents today. you never know if your child will listen or just rebel against you. peer pressure takes a bigger toll then it used to.

im not a parent yet but from what ive noticed so far is that my parents have took a great toll on my life. they made me a better person. they made me hate the idea of smoking weed. they helped me be as social as i am today.

parents can always make a change but less of that seems to be happening with the newer breed of children. alot of them seem to be going down the wrong path and it just gets worse and worse.

first rap, then celebritys, then S****y clothes. its hard for parents to keep there children pure and keep friends while still acting like a normal person.

Answer 3

I try to do what I think is best. I try to give them the world without creating spoiled brats, and give them loads of experiences without giving them huge ego's. I try to understand- even when they mess up and I don't agree, and help them when things get tough. Encourage education and kindness etc.

I ALWAYS wonder if the way I go about things is right. So far I have 2 kids that are extremely well-behaved in school and social settings and very book smart. But I do not know what the future holds.

I don't so much worry if I'm doing things wrong , it's more of, " Will things go badly wrong? Will they make friends with the wrong person? Will they ignore my advice because they *know it all*?

Honestly, I wish I had had my kids life when I was little. But will they appreciate that when they are 16? I don't know. I hope so.. but i can't know until that time comes.

Answer 4

more times than I want to mention.  We have struggled with our 19 year old for a few years, and now he has moved out, and I ask myself that question time and time again, however it really solves nothing. We have a 16 year old that keeps telling me, we raised her just the same way, and she hasn't rebelled.  Hang in there

Answer 5

I worry about this every day.  I actually have had to like remind myself to relax..... but I have to at least act like I am firm in my choice so that he can see it.  I want him to be able to make firm choices for himself and be confident, but with our crazy life, inside all I can do is hope.

Answer 6

Yes. We've been through A LOT with our 16yr over the last couple of years and have finally got him on the right track in the right place. I often wonder that if maybe if we got him tested for dyslexia earlier than we did and got him in the right class earlier, would that have lead him to be less stressed, which would have lead him to be happier, which would have lead him to make smarter choices, which would have lead him to be a different person etc etc etc?  I'll never know.

What's done is done and you can't change it. We learn from the past and make better for the future.

Answer 7

You think analytically now, but when you're a parent you'll end up doing what you feel is right and what you feel your child is capable of understanding and doing.  It starts out small with decisions and they get more complicated as they grow.  As you gain more experience and knowledge, you'll apply it.  When you do have kids, it'll all come naturally.  Trust me on that!!! :D