Parents don't approve of my boyfriend..what do you think?

Question

Firstly, I admire, respect, and care about my parents and their feelings immensely. I am 24yrs. old. about to enter grad school and my parents support me financially. I am very fortunate to live on my own. My long time bf of 7 yrs. is 34. We have been very close for the past 2yrs. and worry about my parents opinions when we decide to marry and start a family. He got into some legal trouble the beginning of the year and my parents think we broke up. They no longer ask about our relationship and assume we do not speak or at least they don't even want to hear about him. We have continued our relationship. He is financially stable and will be able to support us but

I worry about their approval. I am not looking to cause any upset. What should I do? Should I tell them now that we are continuing our relationship or should I wait til I am finished with school and able to support myself?

Answer 1

I know this is easier said than done, but this is about every decision you make in your life, not just the one about your boyfriend:   Stop seeking your parents' approval on your choices.  You need to trust your own personal instincts on what's good for you.

I made the mistake of not standing up to my parents when I was your age, and by the time I got the nerve to do so, it was too late.   You need to set boundaries while you're in your early adulthood, and then your parents will be more likely to respect your choices later in life.  If they don't, you don't need them.  Trust me!

The sooner you stop seeking other people's approval, the better off you'll be.  Cut that emotional umbilical cord NOW!!

Answer 2

You already screwed this one up by not telling them what was going on from the beginning. Now they will never trust you or him on the subject. You may have lost their respect, and it will only get worse the longer you wait. So what should you do? Frankly, if he has problems with the law, your parents are probably right. Otherwise, the best thing you can do is grow up, tell them the truth, and just deal with it. It's your life. Live it.

Good luck!

Answer 3

You should tell them now.  If you tell them later it would hurt them more.  You didn't feel comfortable enough to be able to talk to them.  Out of respect for them, I'd tell them now.  You are 24 and able to decide for yourself.  They don't have to be happy about you dating him but they have to respect that you love him and he loves you.  They'll also take it better knowing that you came to them instead of hiding it for years.

Answer 4

You are 24 years old, thats an  adult. You can make your own decisions in life now, your parents cant rule your life forever.

My parents did not like my boyfriend either (he was a bit of a loose cannon and was bad news I admit, a product of bad childhood circumstances) but now he has all these problems sorted out and he is a lovely guy!!

If I had listened to my parents warnings I would not be in the relationship I am now!!

Seriously its your life... live it!!