Parents hate pregnant girlfriend for various reasons.?

Question

My parents felt this way even before they met her. After meeting her, that feeling just grew even more, though she didn't do anything to offend them and was very respectful and presentable.

- they believe she trapped me with pregnancy to force me into marrying her and that she's a gold digger. I have a bright, promising future, but am not rich my any means nor are my parents.

- the fact that she ran away from home at a young age bothers them and they think she wasn't raised right with the same values, doesn't respect parental authority, etc

- they think I'll be miserable the rest of my life because my gf has a short temper, is controlling, my way or the highway and all eyes on me type of attitude.

- parents think because of her attitude and short temper, my life is in danger, she could walk out on my one day, cheat on me, etc.

i've only known my gf for less than a year and they're all valid points, but unless i'm blinded by love, i don't think they're true.

my relationship with my gf has become very strained and stressful for both of us. it's to the point that she doesn't want to see me even though we still love each other. i guess she's trying to forget about me. i'm trying to work things out, but my gf thinks that i've given up already and that i can't stand up to my parents and make a decision.

i understand that my parents are only looking out for me, but nobody is perfect. i wish they could look past all the negatives and give her a chance, but i don't see this happening anytime soon. they are against us getting married, want me to end the relationship and even want me to get a paternity test. gf's parents feel that if we don't marry, we should just end it now. they are telling her that i never really loved her or else i would've gotten married to her already. i think if we got married now, we'd both be miserable with all these issues and disapproving in-laws. i would rather wait till later when things have settled down. for more info on my situation, look here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao6zyehPPaCsm0ZHFzcK12jsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080722113503AAeSMwA

i love my gf, but i also love my parents and am very close to them. i feel like i'm having to choose between them. whichever i choose at this point in time, the other party will feel betrayed. i wish i had more time for things to slowly work out. a baby is on the way, so that is added pressure from both sides to act now rather than wait it out.

i have friends that think i'm doing the right thing, while other friends think i'm a jerk for not marrying her already so i can already guess the types of responses i will get. feel free to ask questions for clarification.

i am in dire need of good advice and there doesn't seem to be any easy simple answers to this.

one final thing: regardless of what happens, i will be there for the baby.

Answer 1

Do not let others make the decision for you. My in-laws didn't want me either. Guess what my husband is related to them by chance of birth he Picked me. No reason to marry right now just be there for each other and the child. Many marriages don't work out, perhaps starting counseling to work through issues would help. Let your gf know that you and she will make the choices about your life not family and friends. This will help you both feel more secure. It has not been easy since we were still in HS when our eldest was born. Even though we fought with each other we learn to fight harder for our life together. Good luck. Oh you still can succeed and fulfill your goals, we have, it is lots of work but achievable.

Answer 2

Why not try meeting half way with her, get her a promise ring and tell her you do love her and want to be there for her, but you also want to see how things go and not just get married because she is pregnant.

If her short temper only started happening after she got pregnant then it may be nothing to worry about, but if she had a short temper before and was controlling before then you may want to tell her you want to go to couples therapy before you even consider getting married.  

Answer 3

You sound like a good guy with a level head.  I'm sure your parents are just trying to protect you from what they see as a volatile situation.  It doesn't sound as though your girlfriend treats you very nicely, from your post it even sounds as though she might be emotionally abusive.  

Your parents are trying to protect you (that's natural for them to do) and I'm sure they want you to have a happy marriage and supportive spouse and want your children to grow up in a good and stable environment, just as you have.  It's good that you want to be there for your child, but I have to say that it doesn't seem as though marriage is the right choice right now.  

Be there for the baby, keep your girlfriend in your life but I think you're right to wait until things settle down to consider marriage.  Living together and having a baby is not easy, if the situation is already stressed it could be doomed to fail right from the start.

Answer 4

dude if your gf can't accept that you cannot completely disregard your parents, then she really is missing some values or whatever.

I think you should keep trying your hardest to keep her with you but make sure she knows that you will never disregard your parents' opinions.

Although they are parents and therefore suck by default, they do sometimes know what's best.

If I were you there's no way I'd let her parents pressure me into marriage.

And as you prolly already know, these types of girls won't budge unless you get on your hands and knees and apologize for everything that's gone wrong and take all the responsibility (which is why these girls suuuck).

But good luck man

Answer 5

The best thing you said :



one final thing: regardless of what happens, i will be there for the baby



Good on you mate.

Answer 6

you sound very mature and in complete control of the situation. you are, however, letting your parents and your girlfriend manipulate you. you need to take everyone's feelings about the other out of the picture completely and make your decision. your parents may have valid concerns, but in the end it is your life, and your choice. your girlfriend should not be refusing to see you, that in itself is manipulative and wrong.

hold off on marriage for awhile. wait 'till after the baby comes. tell your girlfriend it's because you want a proper marriage, with the baby included. tell your parents you have made your decision and you don't want to hear one more negative thing from them, that if they want you to be an adult, then they need to treat you like one.

think carefully about what is best for you and your new family. don't be swayed by others' thoughts. you'll figure it out.

good luck, and congrats on becoming a daddy!

Answer 7

always be awake and smart friend. I think your parent will forgive you for doing the opposite what they told you, just like you or any other parents will forgive their child for whatever mistake they have made. Love is blind, so go for it, try to keep the love that you had. and if thing doesn't work out between you and your love, f#$k it, at least you and your child know that you've done your part, so you don't feel guilt for the rest of your life. good luck with everything.

Answer 8

Easy... Try http://www.fertilised.com for everything

s*x, Pregnancy, Relationship  

Answer 9

The sad thing is your parents are probably right but thats not their choice its yours. And you can make your own decision and tell them to let you live YOUR life. At least you are going to be their for the baby. You dont have to marry this girl but if you guys get along good it would be the best thing. Remember just because you marry her wont make it right. A happy family doesnt mean you have to live together...if you and her dont get along it wouldnt be good for the child nor either one of you.  Remember communication really is key to a good relationship if you cant communicate which means be honest and bare all thats bothering you, your screwed.

Answer 10

Contact a family counselor. IT's for all of you. Both sets of parents, you and your girlfriend. This is too convoluted for a reasonable answer here.