Parents having children with down syndrome?

Question

im writing about the coping mechanism of parents with children having down syndrome. just want to find out how do parents deal with their problems and what coping mechanism they are using to lessen their stress, anxiety, depression, etc.

can you answer???

thanks

Answer 1

The main issue is between the actual parents while dealing with DS. Statistically, divorce is higher in these types of situations. We have family friends that have a daughter in this situation. They knew the divorce statistic and knew they were going to beat it. Of course, there comes guilt and blame, etc. The main thing is to be open with each other constantly and to be determined to make the relationship and family work.

Answer 2

I think I can relate to a child having something like Down's Syndrome because I have a severely Autistic Child and it affects my life in the same way.  I know Down's Syndrome children and their parents.  It is really hard to accept at first.  For the first few years I was so depressed.  I just couldn't accept it or deal with it.  I felt so hopeless like my life was over.  I got treatment for my depression and looked at the situation differently.  My son is still a blessing and he is still a child whom I love and a child who needs my love.  It is a very stressful situation and you really need the support of your family.  My husband and his parents are such a great help to me.  I couldn't do it without them.  Sometimes you need a break or someone to vent to.  The greatest help is talking to other parents who have Autistic Children.  My daughter is so wonderful with her brother.  It is really hard.  I used to worry about his future and what would happen to him after he's gone but I learned that I need to enjoy my life and not overwhelm myself.  I can't think that far into the future so I learned to take it one day at a time and not look ahead.  The most important thing has been having my child in a special school for Autistic Children.  They people are so wonderful.  They have been such a great support and so helpful.  They love what they do.  I have a lot more respect for them than I do for regular education teachers.  I think that they love my son as much as I do.  School is great for his routine and it gives me a much needed break.  He even goes to school in the summer.  I used to feel like Autism was my whole life and my life was over and that I'd never be happy.  I am happy and I learned that Autism isn't my whole life but just a part of it.  Live has become normal for me.  Well as normal as it can be.  My son is happy, healthy, so smart, and so lovable and I wouldn't trade him for anything.  I also know that children with Down's Syndrome are so lovable and from having a friend with a child with Down's Syndrome I know that we are in the same boat when it comes to dealing with our 'special' children.  I hope that I was helpful.

Answer 3

Julie has covered a lot of what had to say, except we r different because my son with down syndrome was my first and until I had my second son he was what I thought of as normal, so adapting to a life with a down syndrome kid wasn't what we had to do because we had no other kids to compare differences.

As for stress and anxiety, I didn't have any apart from when he was first born, and that was because they didn't think he would survive. I think if he had have had on going health issues I would suffer from these, but honestly the worst stress and anxiety I have had was for the first year after my second son was born for some reason.

Depression does not exist in my life. I am so happy with my family, it is absolutely perfect! Im a stay at home mum and having my son with DS has changed my focus in life and helped me to learn what is really important. Same goes for my husband.

It is extra work and can be hard at times, but my focus is on my whole family, not just my son with DS, so if I need some me time (like right now) I take it and so does my husband.

I used to worry daily that I wasn't doing enough to help him, but now I ahve learnt not to stress everyday about how much time we spend on therapy and activities with him, our main purpose is to love him, and believe me THAT isn't hard at all :o)

A really good friend of mine with an older son with DS helped me with this. She has been the best support that I could wish for in this situation, someone who has been there, done that.

Not that Im saying all our kids r the same, its just things like Julie mentioned- 'exploring', locks on everything and generally milestones taking longer to reach, r things our families all have in common.

I don't know how different my life would have been if I hadve had 2 'standard model' kids, but I definately appreciate it a lot now and am very thankful for what I have.

Answer 4

"can I answer?"  I think I can...... I have a 4 1/2 yr old little boy who happens to have DS as well as two "typical" boys (18 yrs, and 6 yrs) and to be totally honest the anxiety and stress for me has been about the same as it was raising my oldest boys.  sure there are "those days" when I feel like I want to go into a padded room because they all are driving me nuts...lol   I am not going to single out my youngest son as the culprit.

what is the effect of having a child with down syndrome on your daily lives?

when my son was younger and in birth to 3 program we had to plan our days according to his therapy sessions. now since he will be going into kindergarten it has eased up. I still have to be very watchful of him when we go places (otherwise he takes off on me to go and explore) so he can never leave my sight

how can you solve those problems? we adapted as a family. if you came over to my home right now you would have to knock to be let into the yard...every door, gate, cabinet, fridge is locked somehow....he is an escape artist. you know something though?  it has now become our "normal" so it is no longer out of the ordinary to pass through a gate to get into the kitchen or unlock a cabinet to get supper ready....

what coping mechanism do you practice? adaptation is our coping mechanism