Parents how did I handle this situation?

Question

Today, my 3 year old daughter and I were leaving a play group and, she started to run ahead of me a bit, not in away that I could not have easily grabbed her but in a way that would take me about three steps to grab her, she was about 3 seconds ahead of me.

When she intially ran I shouted her name and she kept running, she ran all the way to the house (not crossing the street, just a straight path) which was about 4 seconds a way, she looked back at me laughing thinking it was a game.

I thought it was serious all though she was not in grave danger, it was serious to me because she did not stop when I called her.

However, to get to the house she did have to run pass the parking lot, which is usually full of playing children as oppsosed to cars. My daughter ran all the way to the stairs, and to the front door. All the while looking back at me laughing.

I had a very angry face on, there were people outside that looked at my daughter but then quickly looked at me, they just kept looking at me, I don't know why they kept looking at me I don't know if it was because they rarely see me, or becuase I looked so pissed.

Well anyway what I did was as soon as my daughter got into our apartment I let her have it; meaning I told her never to run ahead of me without stopping again, I used my firm voice. I got really strict and firm and let her know that I was dissapointed with her and I let her know that she could have got hurt if a car did come out of the parking lot, and she finally understood and honestly said to me that she understood and would not do it again.

This is out of the ordinary she has only done something like this 1 other time, she is very well behaved but today, she was just overly excited/tired from playing. I try to be a good parent, I just hate it when my kid does something that makes me look bad.

She didn't run into the street or anything, she stayed on the path but she did have to run pass the parking lot (I was 3 seconds behind her) which could have potentially been dangerous. If a car pulled out quickly she could have been hit.

How do you think I handled this situation?

Answer 1

Its a CATCH 22! :D That's part of our job description as a parent! :D

You look at other parents when they're kids are like this, and you either feel for the parent, or you think they're completely horrible letting their kids get out of control. You know what I'm saying? I know someone on this page has been there.

You hold your head up high, and you keep telling yourself you ARE a GOOD parent.

You already know your child is well behaved, and this is a rare occasion. Be thankful and feel blessed. Its okay to let them know you're mad, as long as you're not taking it out on them. You know?

I make my daughter hold my hand. Its like starting back at "1". They have to hold your hand, everywhere you go, and ride in the cart at the store. Then, when they regain your trust, they get to walk next to you, and yadda yadda. :)

I think the fact that she said she understood and said sorry means there's something in her that grasps this. Even if its her just recognizing that you're angry for what she did. That's a good sign.

Lastly, if you want to run after your kid and grab them, and let them know... whatever it is, you need to do that. What the heck happens when you're kid is running in the street next time, and gets hit by a car because you're paying attention to people staring and thinking about how horrible they must think you are as a parent? Its really, really, really hard as parents to discipline or get after your kids in public. We're so judgmental, period, as a society.  

Btw, I remembered you wrote she didn't run across the street in this instance, but if you were angry, it should have been for her safety. If she wasn't in danger, and you were angry because you couldn't save face, then it shouldn't have been as big of a deal.

You've got to do what you've got to do.

My personal opinion. Thanks for reading.

Answer 2

i think i would have grabbed her and popped her butt a little and tell her not to do that again.

Answer 3

Its sounds like you handled it right im just a little worried that you said "I just hate it when my kid does something that makes me look bad." it sounds like you were almost more worried about how you looked becuase you knew she wasn't in any kind of danger.

Answer 4

You did fine. Don't worry about whether she does something to make you look bad. It's all about the kids, not us.

Answer 5

I think you handled it well.  The one & only time my daughter ran away from me outside(she did pretty much the exact same thing your daughter did) I popped her bottom & used my "firm" voice and she hasn't done it again.

Answer 6

I would have handled this situation differently. .  Yes, she ran away from you but it sounds like you're more concerned that she could've gotten hurt, which in a busy parking lot YOU should make her be right with you.  Even though your daughter said she won't do it again and understood... sHe is only three and doesn't have any idea of what the True consequences would be if she was hit. You said it was out of the ordinary for her to act this way and you 'let her have it'.  I think you should read your letter back to yourself tomorrow once you are not upset about this anymore.  It makes me feel like you're angry both your daughter and yourself for the situation.  

Answer 7

I think you did fine.  I think I would have caught up to her, grabbed her arm to stop her, bent down to her and said exactly what you said.  That was a potentially dangerous situation.  Good thing you were able to correct her instead of a car.  The true test is if she does it again.

Yeah, sometimes kids do things in public that just makes our blood pressure rise, but you just have to think that they are just kids and a lot of kids do these thing.  People were watching because it was something to watch.  Sometimes it's not a reflection on your parenting as much as it is that kids will make their own decisions and do what they want regardless of the consequences.  Just take a deep breath, and know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.  There's a lot of parents that don't know what it's like to raise "imperfect" children, and when it finally happens, it hits them like a ton of bricks.

Answer 8

I think when a child runs ahead any place you need to put an end to it. A few seconds can lead to disaster. Just think about being two seconds behind her and seeing her get hit. If this happens again go to her and tell her to stay beside you or she will have to be put into a stroller. Most older kids will not want this to happen so they will listen. I think all together you did a great job. Good luck and tell her you make the rules and she is too listen at all times.