Parents-in-law, how should I speak to them?

Question

My partner and I are a tad little upset with his parents at the moment. (Prior to this - we would visit his parents afew blocks away often, stay for tea or long enough to have a good chat, but then things went alittle ugly between the father-in-law and his daughter from a previous relationship, so alot of backstabbing started to happen. Partners brother & wife would say this and that to us about the parents and vice versa. So we slowed down on seeing his parents. *Hope that makes sense) Anyway, lately his mother has gotten annoyed that we don't go over there and see them and they are always going out to see their family then the other way around. Which both partner & I find offensive, when they have hardly come around to our house. Anyway - His brother & wife recently celebrated the arrival of their 4th boy. We recieved a photo from the parents last night with the whole family besides us (or at least to my point of, without my partner). I don't know if I should talk to mother-in-law about the photo... I know her response will be to do with that he was working when the photo was taken... But I know for a fact that when it comes to a photo of this importance - he would have tried hard as to be there... I'm just not too sure if I should try and talk to her or just leave it...

(To us, family is important, and you need to capture these moments as much as you can!)

Please try to be understanding and not too harsh. I just need some other points of views and all)

Answer 1

If I understand right, your husband wasn´t in the photo?

Ok, either way, this is my thought and suggestion to you. Don´t say anything. What I think your husband should say to his mother is that you two don´t like conflict, you like epace and happy moments, and the minute all the talking about everybody else started, you both decided to get away for a while because you don´t like talking about your own family members and just avoid getting into problems with people, any people! And that´s it. Leeave her alone whether she understands or not because truth is, parents in law are very hard to change and usually they have their minds set on how "things should be" and "how you should´ve acted" but your real and most important family is you, your husband and your kids, everybody else is second.

As long as all of you are happy and healthy, everybody else needs to accept you the way you are. Besides, you´ve done nothing wrong.

But about the picture, just leave it alone. She´ll come around soon and will realize this is silly although she´ll never mention anything, she´ll know. And even if she doesn´t, to mantain peace for everybody and learning how they can turn out to be, just keep it cool. For your sake and your husband´s.

Answer 2

just speak to them like a friend that what i do to my step dad, we talk as if wer mates you should do the same x x

Answer 3

be nice respectful and yourself

Answer 4

Maybe you could suggest another photo session, with your partner included this time.