Parents of gifted children.....?

Question

Do you find that your children have special needs as a result of their giftedness?

I have two gifted children. They are 3 almost 4 years apart and are as different as night and day.

They seem to have their own strengths and weaknesses and their giftedness lies in different areas.

I find the term "giftedness" itself a bit of a misfortunate term in that it implies that these children do not need help and get straight A's etc. which we as parents of children like this know is not necessarily and usually true!

I just wonder if your kids have any behaviour problems or other difficulties because of their giftedness?

My eldest is so easygoing and brilliant in math and is a great kid.

So is my youngest, but he is his own person, he has a very outgoing personality and is very social and his giftedness causes conflicts for him as he can be disruptive at school because he does his work, gets it and then wants to chat it up, and we all know how "in the box" school can be. Many other kids are special ed kids and some teachers have so hard a time with the other kids, that they tend to pick on my son as a result as he is the one who sticks out and doesn't fit in.

There are only 3 kids in that whole school in gifted right now. My son has suffered with stomach aches and headaches and other physical manifestations of stress and emotional difficulties.

I find teachers are not equipped to deal with gifted kids so it has been a real ordeal these past few years.

He is in a new school now, new kids, and his teacher this year is GREAT. He is happy and feels comfortable and confident in this class and he starts the gifted program this year (grade 5 in RC schools) so I'm so happy for that. The teacher there is great.

Sorry for being so long on this but I just want you to understand the circumstances in order to see the whole picture I guess.

I just wondered if other parents have experiences like this too, where their child's giftedness has been, as well as a god-send, problematic and draining!!!!

Thanks....

Answer 1

Your son sounds like me pre-6th grade.  I was talkative even beyond, but I wasn't as disruptive.

See if his teacher can give him extra work when he finishes what he has...if she can have him go on to another topic without it being too much of a distraction itself. Either way, it sounds like you've got two kids that are going places.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, and don't let anyone tell you that your son being disruptive means that he's not as smart as he is.  Schools like to take that hyperactivity as rudeness and respond negatively toward the child's intellect...they refuse to accept that perhaps he's bored.

And don't let their negativity push him toward hating school.  It's their job to stimulate him.  If they can't do it, maybe you can find some materials to keep his interest and curiosity focused.

Answer 2

Oh yeah! I had three, two with double lables Gifted-LD, Gifted-ADD and #3 just gifted and just like yoiu say, personalitis very different and depending on the areas of giftedness very difficult to find schooling and socialisation for their unique talents and personalities. Since there is an 13 year difference from the oldest to the youngest I noticed very little change in education w/in the public school. By the time the younger two were born I had become a stronger advocate for them and sought out charter schools/or programs w/in the schools which could a) keep up with thier academic level w/o having the kids sit and teach themselves, repeat math skills they had mastered three years prior or  miss art or music because that was the only time the advanced class was meeting.

b) had teachers who knew how to diversify.

Still, it was fight fight until Jr. High. and if I could have I would have stayed in private school or home schooled.

I took gifted ed. classes so I could better understand the personalities and variying styles of giftedness and after a while just spent all free time feedingthe kids interests irrespective of school. I wasn't conserned with teacher's comments as I just believed that they would succeed. Teachers and administrators were very ignorant so I sought websites which culd help me. Now there are on-line schools which my son, the G/ADD one would have done very well in. He suffered the most as some boys just will not conform, where some girls will try and fit in and "dumb down" to look like her friends.(my youngest) I had them involved in summer robot, computer camps as well as YMCA and scouts. We traveled and camped and went to a lot of plays and read a lot of books. The home was the place where it was OK to be "weird or nerdy" Now, with one graduated from college, one in college and one in HS I look back and ask, what did I miss?

They tell me they wanted and needed to be with their gifted contemporaries more than being with the average kids although I had always felt they needed to be with both so they wouldn't be a snob and because they wuld have to work with average in the future. The oldest two have really proved me wrong. Neither of them work average jobs or mix with average. It took them years of feeling outcast to finnaly find their nitch.

So if you have even gotten to read this far(!) I hope you can find some other gifted through the home-schoolers in your area. Home schooler web sites are great and many of the students meet up at events together to get their kids socialized and would welcome hanging with your kids-especially since many ofthem are way above grade level too.They network and research and expand their minds far beyond the classroom doors.

Best of luck and enjoy the brillant minds!

Answer 3

lol..my kids biggest talents anymore, are typing and texting at the same time....they used to be so full of life before the electronic age came about..it makes me sad...

Answer 4

I have twin girls who are just entering middle school/junior high.  Both are gifted and attended a gifted program in elementary school, an equivalent of which is not offered at their middle school.  My girls are very different, too - both seem to have at least some ADD, but it may just be boredom.  One is more ADHD, whereas the other one doesn't have a hyperactive bone in her body.  

Most of the problems that we've had with the "giftedness" have arisen out of their boredom.  If they are not constantly involved, engaged, and challenged, they find their own ways to entertain themselves.  This was fine, and occasionally even funny, when they were younger (afterall, chocolate syrup "paint" on the windows washes off!), but I worry about what kinds of "entertainments" they will find for themselves as they get older, especially now that they have been thrown back in with the general education population.

I have tried to convince my girls that just because they have the ability, doesn't mean it will automatically grant them the kinds of results they want out of life.  That ability has to be combined with opportunity and attitude, too, in order to ensure success.  They can be brilliant, but if no one ever gives them a chance to show it, what good will it do them?  And they can be brilliant, but if they are surly and rude and otherwise exhibit a poor attitude, no one will WANT to give them a chance, or CARE whether they are smart or not.  So I try to emphasize the importance of being well-rounded and developing the "total package" with them.

Not sure if this is what you were looking for or not, but I hope it helps...