Parents of older adopted children (international or otherwise)?

Question

Most children adopted at an older age, particularly those adopted internationally, are behind, educationally. What have you done/tried as adoptive parents to overcome this?

We have my daughter enrolled in Kumon, a math and reading program to get her caught up to her age-peers. We've had some big success with that. I'm wondering what else people have tried?

Answer 1

Mine were not international but some were waaaay behind and others lacked a strong base of basic core skills.

I work with each of them myself.  I am not a teacher but it's just what I'm good at.  I am a volunteer at their school and am right on top of their assignments and such.  

So I review homework and use every chance I get to teach basic skills.  Grocery store is for math and we read labels there for comprehension.  We continually teach and read with them.  

We have not used any tutors or learning centers.

Answer 2

It depdends if the delays are environmental or if they are due to FASD/FAS/FAE.  If they are due to FASD/FAS/FAE there is nothing you can do but structure and modify there environment.  If it is environmental, I disagree with Gaia (respecfully so) that getting our children extra support and help is not pressure, it is just that support.  It helps them with their peers and the extra work as long as balanced with fun will not harm child.

Answer 3

you could try letting her go at her own pace.

Answer 4

The mistake that some ill-informed aps adopting internationally make is that these children with acclimate easily to tradition brick and mortar school.

***I just reread this part....this was NOT meant to be directed towards the original poster   Jennifer   ....sorry if it comes off that way.

We cyberschool due to my daughter's severe allergies and advanced learning needs. We also belong to a co-op of other cyberschoolers. Several kids in the co-op are older international adoptees. These kids are slowly being integrated in the American education system while being able to build their confidence without being ridiculed.

The parents think this is working well allowing the kids to learn English, bond with their family and catch up academically while moving at their own pace.

Heck I think many kids benefit while moving at their own pace academically.

Answer 5

Okay I can answer this from your daughter's perspective.  I was adopted when I was five & did not speak any English & was 'behind' in education.

My parents enrolled me in preschool rather than kindergarten so that I could learn English.  What this did was put me a year behind & I was always one of the oldest in my grades.  However, I excelled in school.  I was a straight A student, always in the math class ahead & did just fine.  Now I am not sure how old your daughter is but she will be okay.

I also wanted to state that if you have younger children, allow her to do things that they are not as to separate the age difference to help her 'mature' mentally.  I had a younger brother that was adopted before I was & I caught up socially to his level & then stopped.  My parents allowed me to have more responsibility (like being able to answer the phone) which gave me the extra encouragement & push to keep developing.

Answer 6

I'm with jgf on this one.  Why the pressure?  Why does she need to keep up with the Joneses?

Answer 7

I didn't put my daughter in any special programs because she started school last February after ony a month home (at her request). We figured she'd get used to the routine & then repeat the year. We realized pretty quickly that they had underaged our daughter - she's probably a year and a half older than we thought. If we let her stay back, she would've been  two years older than her classmates. She had made some really good friends and didn't want to stay back.

I  worked with my daughter at home every day over the summer.  I got a couple of workbooks from the school so I could see what would be expected of her the next year. Then we used phonics toys, worksheets, games, flashcards, repetition, all those things.  Once we figured out what  worked for her and what didn't, she made quick progress.

We did work really, really hard over the summer, but my daughter had so much confidence when she went back to school.  There were things we learned about HOW she learned. Our daughter had bad short term memory and also had never had to follow sequences of instructions. We shared  tips with her teacher at the beginning of the school year on how to deal with these things. Our daughter was thrilled that she could do her class work without a special helper, and her homework without Mom.

Answer 8

My children were diagnosed as developmentally delayed.

They were exposed to drugs and alcohol inutero.

Our now three year old came to us at 1 1/2 severely delayed.

She scored around 6-9 months on each section of the assessment except self help skills.

Our children have received one on one therapy.

The two youngest are age appropriate now. It didn't take long for them to catch up.

Our 3 year old goes to special education preschool to help especially with her language and social emotional development. She receives speech therapy.

In the other areas like motor she caught up pretty quick especially considering they were going to test her for MR at the beginning.

Don't put to much stress on it. She will catch up.

Family time is whats most important.