Parents of smaller school aged children please answer?

Question

If you were to receive a letter from your child's school stating that a child with severe allergies to a product is in your child's class and your child can not bring items with this ingredient in them, would you comply? Why or why not.

Answer 1

My son is in kindergarten.  In his class are two students that can not have different foods.  For holidays there is to be no food brought into class.  The teacher remains very strict about this, and it has all worked out fine.  For goodie bags for the holidays i have added playdough, stickers, pencils etc... I believe that it is good for the children to learn that others may be affected/or made sick by certain foods.  we never take chances.  Sorry that your school is giving you a tough time.  All the parents in my sons class have complied nicely.  Try having a meeting with the teacher, they shoudl check what the children bring into school, if it does not work send it back home with the student.  Good luck.  Sorry i could not help more.

Answer 2

I would certainly try to comply, but as a parent to a child with allergies, I know how life-changing and immensely overwhelming it was/is to learn all of the possible ingredients that might contain my child's allergen (milk) and read all of those ingredient labels.  When we first found out, grocery shopping time doubled!  It's getting easier as the years pass, but not only would I not expect other parents to go to all of that trouble for my child, I don't think I'd trust them to, either.  

I have parents in my son's class asking me, all the time, if this product or that recipe is safe for him.  While I love that they are making an effort, I actually hate hearing that question.  Because then, I have to say - unless my husband or I can, personally, read the ingredient label on every product -or- every ingredient that goes into the recipe, we just can't let him eat it.  It's nice that they're trying, but it's too important to trust other people with, other people who don't understand the severity of the allergy or love him as fiercely as we do.  

'Peanut' is an easier ingredient to find than milk - I don't think there are quite as many ingredient name variations for you to be on the outlook for.  But, peanut is also a more immediately deadly allergy.   I just don't know how you can trust other parents to care as much as you do about this.  

Yes, the school should go 'peanut free'.  And, yes, the other parents should comply with the school's rules.  But, it's such a hard rule to enforce, both in school and in the real world, that I think your efforts would be better placed in teaching your child how to be safe in the world as it is.

Answer 3

yes I would comply.. I send my child to school everyday with  juvenile diabetes.. its nice to see the other children take an interest in his disease.. when his sugar is low and he has to be wallked to the nurse by another student they are looking out for him and learning about his disease.. if a note come home asking for us to comply for food allergies .. it is our responsibility as parents to respect that and teach our children to learn about it and respect and to look out for that child.. as they do for my child at his school ..

Answer 4

Talk to the principal if that doesnt work go the the school board. They have to comply with each childs needs. If that doenst work home school her.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Of course I would comply. The daycare my son goes to is peanut free.

Answer 6

of course I would comply. That child should not have to worry about dying if he/she touches something another child has brought in. Only a truely selfish person ould not care and continue to send stuff. Put yourself and your child in that position and what you would want of others

Answer 7

Ask the school for a IEP meeting based on a medical condition.  Then ask that it be put into the IEP that you child be in a "nut free" classroom.

Schools not complying with IEP can be sued in Federal Court.

Answer 8

Talk with the principal of the school. If that doesn't work, try contacting a member of the school board and explain your situation.

I can't believe that your son's school doesn't already have this policy in effect. Food allergies are more and more common these days.

My son is in the 1st grade, and at his school, which is for K5-1st grades, they have a strict policy of NO Peanut products allowed on school grounds-no exceptions. They have that posted on every door of every building.  He has no food allergies, but of course I don't let him bring ANY peanut products as a snack to school ever. I would not want to compromise the health of another child. I always think that it could have been my child with the food allergy.

Hope this was helpful!

Answer 9

A couple yrs ago at my sons elementary school we got a letter that had gone out to ALL the students requesting that peanut products not be sent to school even in our kids lunches.  Well... PB and J was a staple at our house.  I was a little irritated, but complied.  (The reason that it irritated me... for all of those who are going to slam me on that comment... my son has a problem with protien and iron.  He has to eat high protien and iron foods... peanut butter was a major help for us.)

I remember kids in our school growing up who had fatal allergies to foods and the teachers and cafeteria aides watched over them and the kids themselves knew not to eat any other foods than what their parents gave them in their lunches.  What is irritating to me is that schools are just lazy now, so instead of watching these kids, they just make it so no one is allowed to bring those things to school.

On the other hand, if you are refering to snacks or birthday treats brought into the classroom... absolutely parents should comply with an allergy.  It is not fair for one kid to be left out.  My youngest son who is in 1st grade now has a little girl who is allergic to a certain type of flour and like products.  So that leaves out cupcakes and cookies... all the typical birthday goodies.  Some parents this year have been very creative with what they send for the kids' birthday.  We did ants on a log and orange bugs.  (celery with peanut butter and raisins  and oranges sliced into wedges with raspberry heads and licorice feet.)  The kids loved it and didn't know the difference.

So... to answer your question...we would comply/we have complied in the past... but I have to disagree with people wanting an entire arena (school, work, sports) to have to bend and possibly cause other people to be inconvenienced so their child can be 'covered' in that arena.  The schools need to keep a closer eye on kids with needs rather than just banning something altogether.  The world doesn't work that way outside of school.  In our case, we had our doc send a similar notice to our school pertaining to our sons need for protien in his diet and that nuts were a primary source for that while at school.  The school allowed us to continue to send him with his high protien and iron foods and they just kept an eye on the kid with the allergy... what a concept.

I want to be clear that I am not trying to put down your efforts with your situation... just answering your question and trying to give you an outside opinion from someone who is on the other side of the food bans at school.  I wish nothing but the best for your child in school as I know how tough it can be with a kid with special food needs.

I hope this shed a little light on the other side of this subject for you!!  Good Luck!!

Answer 10

Yes.  There is nothing so important for my child to take with him to school that it is worth risking another child's life.  If it were your child wouldn't you want others to comply?  I taught at a school where a student had a SEVERE peanut allergy...parents were outraged that they could not send PB & Js for lunch...they would rather the child with the allergy be isolated and eat alone...how sad!

***If the school is not complying, I would get her a 504 plan.

*****WOW...I wonder if spooky would feel a bit differently if it were her child?!?

*****I think some are missing the point, if it were simply about sharing food, there would not be an issue.  With many life-threatening allergies, they cannot be anywhere near the allergen.  A child who breaks out in a rash from eating a strawberry is totally different from a child who stops breathing from any contact with peanuts or peanut oil.

Answer 11

yes, because if your child was allergic to something, you wouldn't want people bringing in what he was allergic to either.

Answer 12

Yes, I woiuld.

I was in the same situation as you.  My son is severely allergic to chocolate and grapes, and not a single parent complied with requests.  In fact, the principle told me that my son was going have to adjust to his allergies.

For some unknown reasons, people don't take food allergies seriously.

Answer 13

To be fair, if your child has allergies that are so severe - perhaps she should not be in mainstream school - how about home schooling?.

If my child was at serious risk - I would keep him/her close and be watching, not hand the child over to school and expect everyone else to change to suit his/her needs. this is too much pressure on the already over burdened teachers and fellow classmates.

At the moment, we are unable to give our children peanut butter sandwiches or anything with nuts in, I do comply, but beyond nuts, I may have a problem.

Why should the majority change their ways for the minority? it is not fair is it?  

Life is being further and further restricted to accomodate pc'ness and the minority - what about us majority?

Majority children are having their needs pushed aside in some cases, where children with dangerous or demanding  issues effect how much attention and caution is needed to  keep them safe in mainstream school - this is my point.

Thank you Pandabea - you made my point a bit clearer - um...what was my picky part?

Spike- my son also needs extra protein - I understand your point!

Answer 14

Yes I would comply.  In return, I would like parents of kids with allergies to be a little more considerate and appreciative of our efforts to keep your kids safe.   I have to say, that it's become increasingly difficult to send any kind of snack into school these days.   In my daughter's class, there are kids with allergies to:  peanuts, all tree nuts, dairy, eggs, wheat, strawberries and kiwi.  I've been asked (expected, really) to prepare special (i.e. peanut/dairy/egg free) cupcakes for my daughter's b-day that required me to shop at THREE different grocery stores to find special ingredients.  It was expensive, time consuming, and they tasted like cardboard.   I'll do my part because I think it's the right thing to do...but try to understand where we're coming from too!

Update:  The problem is, it's not just peanuts!  If it were, I think most people would be fine with a "no nut" school.  But parents who have children with dairy, egg, and wheat allergies also feel entitled to a "dairy, egg, and wheat free" school.   And frankly, after reading your last edit (to the person who posted this question) I think you're just one of those weird and angry peanut  allergy fanatics.  Sorry, but we all know the type and you fit the bill.

Answer 15

How would a school ban allergens?  There are so many products that can cause very serious problems with some people.  That sounds like you want to force your family's eating habits on everyone else.  

I know this is a serious deal for families that have children with allergies, but I agree with Spooky (not the picky part).  I cook with peanut oil so that would mean that I couldn't send my kids to school with a lunch that I prepared for them.    

At my school, kids with allergies, sit at a different table with a teacher (just to be sure kids don't share food).  Is that right?  I don't know.

Spooky - sorry not picky, pc-ness

Fresh fruits and veggies are a good snack, however, kids are allergic to grapes, strawberries, blueberries, apples and I could list all of them but that would take all night.  One child in my daughter's class is allergic to strawberries, he knows to stay away from them.

There is no possible way to cover all food allergies to keep every child safe from allergies, someone is allergic to everything.  Well, the only way is to stop serving food at school (lunch and snacks).

Answer 16

Are you sure that the parents are getting these letters? I was making chocolate cupcakes for my son's class with peanut butter filling and HE was the one who told me that a boy in his class had allergies to peanuts.

I was furious that I never recieved a letter from the school telling me this- I almost just sent peanut butter into a room where a child had severe allergies.

Now I am very careful and actually call and ask ahead of time because I'm not willing to take any chances with allergies and there are plenty of other options to bring in for birthdays or class parties.

Answer 17

I sure would.  One of my kids has a life-threatening allergy.  

I think most people who haven't dealt with this issue personally just either don't understand it (they're picturing a rash or a stomachache, not anaphylaxis) or they don't actually believe that a food allergy could be so severe.  Honestly, I'm embarrassed to admit I pretty much thought food allergies were psychosomatic before my daughter had a reaction that scared the life out of me.  Now I realize I was an ignorant idiot, and I'm very glad my ignorance never put me in a position where I was putting another child's health at risk.

Parents who aren't wiling to hold off on the pb&j till after school seriously need to be educated on exactly what they're doing.  I think most parents do not really want their kids watching the EMT's come haul off a classmate who has stopped breathing.....

edit -- "pc-ness?" that kind of comment doesn't just make me mad, it makes me scared.  somebody who thinks this issue is about pc-ness -- rather than about a kid whose body is shutting down and in danger of dying -- is the person who makes me wonder when i drop my child off at school in the morning if she'll be coming home alive.  i can only hope that my daughter spends her day around people who realize otherwise and will keep her safe.

one more edit in response to the person talking about appreciation -- because i do get worked up about threats to my kids' lives (like most parents would!), but i'm also very much appreciative of other people's accommodations.  i do know that it's a pain to tailor your child's lunches to somebody else's allergies, and i would never in a million years expect someone to tailor their child's birthday party to my child's allergies (my daughter brings her own food to parties and if there's a concern it still won't be safe for her, we politely decline the invitation).  that's just plain rude.  please don't think from my worked up state (!) that i'm not extremely grateful to those of you who do put in a lot of effort to keep my kid and those like her safe.  i am -- it means the world to me and it means life to my daughter.  thanks.

Answer 18

yes, because of the simple fact is that if it was YOUR child with the allergy wouldn't you want it that way?

Answer 19

Certainly.......I wouldn't be responsible for causing another child to have a severe allergic reaction to something.......I would also expect other parents to comply if my child had allergies.  Kids trade stuff and share.......it's their nature.

It would be down right RUDE to not comply with a request like that.

EDIT: If your child has a documented allergy, then I think legal ramifications could be taken against the school if she were to have a reaction.  Considering restaurants have to list if their foods are cooked in Peanut oil.......Make sure the teacher is trained in how to use an Epi Pen and make sure they have one for your daughter at all times.

If people expect you to UNDERSTAND where their coming from because they had to fix "special" cupcakes for a birthday party?  If it was that big of a hassle, why the h**l did you do it?

I have tons of experience working with children and it is VERY easy to find snacks that are allergen free...........It's called fresh vegetables and fruits (obviously none of the ones on the allergy list)......You don't have to buy commercialized snacks for little kids.

EVERY child has a legal and moral right to a safe, public education environment.

I second the comment about the kids watching EMTs haul off a child with an allergic reaction.........I'd prefer to comply than deal with the psychological consequences if my child were to witness something like that!

Answer 20

Yes, of course I would comply. I received a letter stating that one of my son's classmates is allergic to peanuts for the Easter snacks and bought stuff that doesn't have any relations to peanuts or peanut packing plants. I wouldn't understand why any parent would want to risk someone else's child.

Answer 21

YES!  I have had that letter before.  I would and have complied because it is very dangerous for the other child.

Usually, they request this because no matter how much you watch, the children do trade and taste each others food.  

If it's a simple food item, why would it hurt to leave it out of your child's lunch or snack and just let them eat it at home?

Answer 22

well sure. if a kid has a severe allergy i wouldnt want to do anything to irritate it. and i would hope that if it was one of my children in that place, that other parent would cooperate. My daughter's scholl is def. a peanut-free school because they have a couple of people with SEVERE allergys, so naturally i follow, not wanting to do anything to hate those children

Answer 23

I had the same type of issue with my daughter.  She has severe asthma and was having major attacks at school due to triggers that needed to be minimized.  I had to finally call a meeting with all the teachers, staff and school nurse and explain the seriousness of it all.  It wasn't until I did that did changes occur.  I really don't think they understood until then.   My daughter is also allergic to peanuts.  One thing that has worked is to ask the school to have one table that is labeled "no nuts" .  Your child should be able to take one friend to sit at the special table with her as long as they don't have nuts.  Stand your ground, nobody cares as much for your child as you do and it your job to protect her.  Good luck as I know first hand that is not always easy.

Answer 24

I agree to a point that certain things shouldnt be brought it - but its getting out of control, no nuts no dairy no wheat -

our school parties consist of pretzels and fruit - i think that if a child has such severe allergies they should go home for lunch to avoid issues and also to not punish other children for wanting to eat which to them is a healthy diet.  my son has severe allergies and i  just ask the parents for a heads up before anything is brought it - which to be honest is not that often and i bring him home for lunch and get him back in time for recess.  it worked out great, he is healthy, he feels good about himself and the other kids dont have to suffer ...