Parents or Girlfriend?

Question

32 yrs old, only son, no other siblings, lives in the house where i grew up in, parents bought a new home for the an hour away, basically they still own the house where i live in. Dad has diabetes and heart failure.

Had a girlfriend, got her pregnant, broke up with her on the same day that we found out she was pregnant. My parents didn't like her, for reasons that she had been married before, and is currently on a divorce process. My parents thinks we are sinners for having a relationship. My parents dislikes her so much. I'm sure the baby is mine. But my parents threatened me that they will disown me if I have anything to do with my ex and the baby, and that I'm worried my dad will get into heart attack. What should I do?

Answer 1

Your parents are grown-ups and so are you. The hard truth is that you can live without each other. Moreover, your parents made the *decision* to present you with an ultimatum and invest themselves this heavily into who you have a relationship with. If your father has a heart attack over this (an outcome I find unlikely) he will have brought it on himself.

Your baby cannot do without you. It has no other daddy, and even if this woman finds true love later, it will still feel that hole inside and wonder why you didn't step up to the plate. You are responsible for having created this child, and so is your ex. This baby had no choice in the matter, and is an innocent in the whole affair. Why would you punish it?

If it comes down to a real choice between your parents and your child, ALWAYS CHOOSE THE CHILD. But you know what? I don't think it'll come to that. Chances are, when you put your foot firmly down and say you would rather be without home or parents than abandon your responsibility to the life you helped create, this is what they will do:

1. Try to dissuade you.

2. Storm and fuss.

3. Kick you out.

4. Realize you're not going to give in.

5. Start buying gifts for their first grandchild, but remain snarky until they realize how cute it is.

I'm wishing you courage on this. I know you want to honor your mother and father, but I believe the most important way we do this is by trying to be better parents than they were. Anything else is a waste of all their hard work.

Answer 2

You're 32 years old. If you got her pregnant, then be a father. There's really no other option unless you're a dead beat.

Also, you're 32 years old. Your parents don't dictate your life. Man up and cut the umbilical cord.

Answer 3

1. work on your sentence structure

2. figure out what you want/what is worth it

Answer 4

OMG... i can't believe you are even asking this question.  Of course you should choose your child, because that baby is the only one in this whole shenanigans that doesn't have a voice or a choice as to what happens.  Why would you allow your parents to dictate your life at the age of 32?  Are they right for disliking this girl? Or are they just concerned with the morality of the relationship?  I am not saying to thumb your nose at them, you just need to very calmly explain that you are going to be a responsible adult and raise your child, because that is how they raised you.  Usually playing on their success as parents will help. trust me lol.  Good luck, it sounds like you want to do the right thing, but are being swayed by your parents self righteous judgement of a girl you apparently really care for.  Don't let them lead YOUR life, they got to do that for 18 years already.

Answer 5

I'm sorry but you're a grown man!! your parents shouldn't dictate your life. You're 32 not 13. If you don't want to be with your ex then it should be your decision alone, not because your parents don't agree.

Answer 6

get a paternity test and if it comes out as your child then tell your parents you have to be with the kid and if they dont like it then too bad

Answer 7

Do the responsible thing and be there for the baby.  Sounds like your parents need to grow up.  

Answer 8

well that is a tough one. I understand that. Well bottom line is what do you want. You want to be a father then be a father. Now as far as your parents go once the baby is here they are going to be happy. Remember your parents only want the best for you but you are the only one that can make those decisions.  

Answer 9

wow...they should be excited and happy that you are having a baby...that is horrible that they are acting that way...what did she ever do to them other than have a failed marriage to make them hate her?

sounds like they are pretty old school and they need to come around to her and your family if they want to be a part of your lives...they should start to warm up when the baby comes..step up and be a man...your poor girlfriend...not only is she dealing with hormones and is growing a baby inside of her, she tells you and you break up with her!?!

get your stuff together man and figure out what matters to you more...you know who is right and who is wrong...they are your past...she is your future...

Answer 10

the question is, is the child coming into the world more important to you? honestly, my best friend was in the same situation. at first they were angry but once that child came into the world... everything changed. becoming grandparents and parents changes everything. honestly, you have a responsibility to that child and your parents should respect that because after all it's their only grandchild. and let them disown you, if you are financially stable i'm sure you will get on your feet without their help.

Answer 11

Regardless of your feelings for this woman, you are going to have a child with her.  It is imperative that your focus is that child.

If your parents don't understand that, it is unfortunate, but it doesn't decrease your need for involvement or decrease your child's needs.

It would be horrible and sad if your parents couldn't put aside their differences for the sake of their new grandchild, but, if they choose to do that, you still have to choose to support your child.

Answer 12

Wow your a selfish, balless jerk...broke up with her when you found out she was pregnant cuz your parents didn't like her...does your mom still pick out your clothes for you in the morning? GROW UP YOUR 32!!!! Be a man and step up to the plate, stop making excuses for why you can't support your ex and YOUR baby... NO EXCUSE!!!

Answer 13

i know your parents are sick but they are trying to force you to be a deadbeat dad. if he has a heart attack it will be from his own hatred not you take care of your child, he has only you and his mother i dont care if your parents dont like his mother if you know that it is your you will regret not being in his life more than making your mom and dad mad after his first day on this earth. i personally think their moral compass is off.