Parents reading their childs txt msgs-right or wrong?

Question

my bf's parents read their son's text messages. of course, i being his girlfriend, text him. i feel like this is an invasion of my privacy and that they should stop. what do you think??

Answer 1

Yes, it's okay.  How else are they going to find out if he's on drugs, planning on impregnating someone, etc.  They are still liable and responsible for his behavior if he's under 18.  As long as you live with your parents, you have to deal with stuff like that.  Keep in mind that anything you put in print can come back to bite you.

Answer 2

Good for them & they have every right.If more parents paid attention to what their children did/said,there wouldn't be so many wild kids running around..Why are you so worrried about it anyways?Unless you are saying things that you shouldnt be.

Answer 3

Well, I'm a mom, and I sometimes read my daughter's texts.  Now before you freak out... she knows I read them, and I'm sure she probably deletes anything she doesn't want me to see.  The only reason I read them is because she always makes plans with her friends and then forgets to tell me, and I need to know what her plans are so I can plan my own schedule accordingly.  But anyway...

My point is... don't assume that your boyfriend's parents don't trust you, because that might not be the case.  They may just want to keep themselves informed of what's going on in his life.  Not that that makes it any better... I'm sure it must be really irritating and embarrassing to know they've been reading your private conversations.  I'd probably be pretty upset, too, if I were you.  And I think you have every right to be upset... but I don't think you should necessarily be "hurt", because trust might not be the issue at all.

Answer 4

They are doing the right thing, the same thing I would do if  my child were old enough for a cell phone.  My friend's 16 year old daughter knows that her mom and dad review her text messages, her myspace page, her emails, etc.  As a child you have to respect the parents wish to protect their child(ren) and make sure there is nothing funny going on.

Answer 5

Well unless he's a bad kid (which apparently he's not; haha, momma's boy), I think he deserves a little bit of privacy with his text-messages.

Answer 6

If he doesn't like it, he needs to buy his on cellphone and pay for the service. Otherwise, I would suggest if you have anything you don't want his parents to read...don't send it to him :)

Answer 7

They are his parents, they have every right to check his messages if they want to.  I personally don't believe in reading kids txt messages unless they have given you reason to check up on them.  But not every parent believes the way I do, and it is their right to parent how they want to.  If you don't like it then make sure you don't text him anything confidential but otherwise, you have no rights in that situation.

Answer 8

If they pay for the phone and if he is a minor they have every right to look at them to keep track of things in their sons life.  With so many teens keeping huge secrets anymore parents have to look into things that kids don't want them too.

Answer 9

Well, is your boyfriend paying his own cellphone bill?

Personally, I've made the agreement with my teenager that I will respect his privacy until I have some reason to suspect that I need to look at things like emails, text messages, etc.  

At that point, it's my job as a parent to go snooping.  

You don't want parents snooping, don't give them a reason to be suspicious.

Answer 10

Well, I think that their parents may be a little over protectived. Maybe they should stop. but then if your boyfriend is actin a little weird i think that they then should check his txt messages jus so that they can make sure and keep their son protected. That's what my parents do. They dont bother looking at my txt messages. Also, try to get your boyfriend to talk to his parents if he's not ok with it. But I dont think you should be concerned, unless your saying something that's not appropriate. I would then see why his parents would want to check his txt messages. So txt good and appropriate things and jus loosen up. But if your boyfriend is havin problems with it, HE should be the one to talk to his parents. WEll, hope i helped! : ]

         Also, if you could  PLZ CHOOSE this as BEST ANSWER! I'm tryin to get to LEVEL 3. Thanx!! : ]

Answer 11

You earn your privacy when you pay for your privacy.

Sorry honey, I have access to my children's *privacy* as long as I'm paying for it.

Answer 12

So i totaly don't agree with that, my step mom does that with my step brother, and even if i had texting, she wouldn't be able to do that cause she's legally not my gaurdian, but even if she could, i wouldn't want her to.  They have the right too, but still it's wrong.  I mean, if he's bad and gets into ****, than yeah, i would kinda understand that, but if he's smart enough, he should just delete all the conversations he doesn't want them to see. (;

Answer 13

i dont think that he should have anything to hide i mean its hurtful if they dont trust him enough to not have to read every txt he sends but they have a right if they wanna read them every once in a while to make sure hes safe, and kids really need to shutup about this "invasion of privacy" thing its dumb invasion of privacy is like hacking someones email account or things like that not reading your sons txt messages.

Answer 14

They have every right as long as he is under their roof... and probably paying for his phone!!!

Answer 15

i respect a parent who respect their children's privacy. i take my hat off to my parents and siblings because they use their authority not to dictate or demand but to teach values that will make me a better person.

Answer 16

Hey heres a story about a friend. It might interest you -

The girl was sending s**y txts to her bf, and he was telling her how great it felt fingering her.

(They're my age, 15 which i believe is too young. Anyway...)

Her parents are your typical rich, 'we think we're the most perfect parents in the world we love our kids so much' people.

They took her phone and read the messages. Because they always made her act perfect and do everything right, they totally freaked. Her mum cried all night and her dad was furious.

I think it's an invasion of privacy. I understand why parents might sometimes want to read them but it should probly stop once the child reaches the age of 15.

lol. there you go.

plz help>?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 17

I personally think it is wrong. I trust that I have raised my oldest (15) well enough to be able to stand back and allow him his well earnt respect and privacy.

Answer 18

well.i am not saying this to be mean but you being his girlfriend does not give you the right to worry about what his parents do..and since you know they do this just don't text him anything you do not want them to know..i would not read my children's text messages unless they were getting into trouble or i thought something was wrong i think my children and others deserve privacy just as i do.but as i said it is not your business and his mom is his mom she is going to do what she wants maybe she has a reason

Answer 19

i never once read my children's text messages.

but that's cause i never gave them cell phones.

other than that, i read all chats, all IMs, all emails, and gods help them if their rooms weren't clean because i would clean it for them and, in the process, read each and every scrap of paper i found.

"my computer, my house, my business".

result?

oldest stepson, now 27, married 4yrs, regretfully no children as yet but they're trying, certified as an industrial heavy plumber (no kitchen pipes - we're talking installing sewer pipelines big enough to drive a truck through)

second stepson, now 24 - not married, dating casually, no children and happy about it, certified as an industrial carpenter (he frames things like shopping malls, airports, and car manufacturing plants).  

both boys certified and trained through the same company, NAC.

my oldest daughter - 22yrs old, married 5yrs, no children yet(she's happy, he's not), bought her first house 3yrs ago and in the middle of renovating.  she has two home businesses and does web design for companies supporting the oil industry in alberta.

my second daughter - 19yrs old, on her first boyfriend but it's casual, starting college as a computer graphic designer/animator in sept.

the boys smoke, the girls don't.

the boys smoke up, the girls don't.

all kids drink responsibly - no drunk driving, no weddings in vegas.

Answer 20

I have a 13 year old...I told her as long as I am paying for her phone I will read her messages.  It is not something I get into the habit of doing, but unfortunately I trust the boys less than I trust her so I will continue to check her messages because I love her and want to protect her.

You don't understand now...someday you will.

Answer 21

If you know they're reading them, it would be mighty respectful of you to clean up your texts.

Answer 22

Well they don't trust him enough. If he's a good boy, and hes parents know theirs onothing to hdie than why read it.  I think hes parents are either bored, or over-protective. I hate when privacy is invaded. I'm a good kid, did nothing wrong, like alcholal,drugs, smoking, really bad things, i stay home most of the time, yet i feel my privacy is over-invaded, casue im over-protected. i hate it, but everyone hates privacy invasion, makes u feel worthless and unimportant, like no one trusts u in this world, and ur dependant on too many people. dotn say weird things in text-messages cause thats just plain embarassing, so just send emails, and stuff, or little text-mess notes, nothing lovy-dovy.

P.S. ur parents must have raised their children really wrong if the ydon't trust their own blood, their own child to keep his/her own privacy. if u think u did a good job parenting why bother checking, ur just invading ur childs life, just becasye a parent is allowing a child to lvie under his house, they shouldnt take advantage of it. obviusly ur house, their too young to afford their own, if a child hada choice, hed move out becasue of invasion privacy. they lvie evryday with the thoughts why u doing this to me. u know how bad that feels. s***w ur stupid little, my house, my computer. my buiness. its not always ur buiness. u think u rasied ur children well, than u should be able to trust them. dont invade their life, u dont own their life, ur roof big deal, its their life, u gave birth to them, or are the father, u should be responsable enough to know if u trust ur sons and daughters. unless u suspect something is wrong, tis udnerstandable, but stop being so catious, its freakin annoying, let teh children live their own lives. u doing this really is not making a difference!

Answer 23

If he is under 18 they are within their rights. I applaude them. What are you texting that you don't want others to see?

Answer 24

They are just concerned for him.  I honestly think that parents these days don't concern themselves enough with their children and they should and maybe there wouldn't be so much crime.  I don't think that privacy should be entirely given to a child/teenager because of all of the things that kids are exposed to these days.  They are just being good parents and making sure that their son isn't doing things they don't approve of.  I know that it can be upsetting, I used to get angry if my parents invaded my 'privacy' but now, being a parent myself, I see why they did it and I love and respect them for it.  If there isn't anything to hide, he shouldn't mind it.

Answer 25

Hi parents are conserned about him, you need to respect their authority.

Answer 26

Well, sadly it's lawful (if he's under 18). But I personally think it's a little messed up. As long as he is using his alloted texts and not going over, it should be private. Everyone needs privacy. I mean, if there was a good reason why they wanted to read them, like if he might be in trouble, into drinking, drugs, etc, then it would be a good thing but... other than that, you can't have a normal relationship with someone, or even friends, if you have to walk on eggshells whatever you type, because you don't want your parents to get upset.

I love how I have thumbs down. I see nothing wrong with givng children PRIVACY. I'm not saying don't be involved with their lives or anything... but text messages?! come on! Unless something is suspected, there should be a level of trust! Especially if the child is trusted in the first place. Jesus.

What? People with similar answers are getting thumbs up. OK!

Answer 27

As long as you are aware that what you text will be read, then it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Answer 28

theres a line between right and wrong in this sort of situation... your boyf's parent has the right to read their son's text messages but that is only if they suspect something, or if they feel the need to so that they can't protect their child and do anything they can to get him out of depression (not that i'm saying that he does it's just merely an example) but then theres the line they could breach if they are snooping around reading his text msgs just for fun and to see what he texts you and all that is considered breach of privacy and that it is an invasion of privacy to both you and your boyf so you should just let them do what they're doing because they are his parents and in a way, they are responsible for his well being

Answer 29

it is not just a good thing it should be mandatory