Parents that are 40ish with young kids please help?

Question

ok here is the deal i am 40 husband 41. we are adopting 4 kids 3,6,8,9 we both feel young but!!!!! we are both falling apart. my husband is loosing his hearing, sight, aches pains ectt... and i am tired!!!!!!! aches pains, hormones ect... we want to be there 100% for the young kids. how can we be older parents and still give them the 20's energy

Answer 1

You're describing a 90 year old!  Does your husband have a serious disease that's causing him to become deaf and blind?  Why are you so tired?  Unless you have a serious illness, there's no reason to be so worn out at 40!!   I know lots of new moms who are 40 and don't have any of these symptoms.   There's gotta be more to this story!

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound harsh but...start taking care of yourselves medically speaking because you will need it as much as your younger counterparts!

For your aches and pains..start doing yoga or similar..take up swimming..also take your vitamins and calcium most importantly..get your full hours of sleep and there are loads of counterbalancing aides for hormonal issues..so please start researching into such and taking them..even if you just start out with progesterone.

Both you and your husband are far from being over the hill, just listening to your bodies because they BOTH need some TLC

CONGRATS on the new additions and enjoy Parenthood

Answer 3

I'm not that age yet. One thing to keep in mind...is a 3 year old is on the go from sunup to sundown. I know because I have a daughter that turns 4 on Nov.2.

6,8,9 are also very active ages for kids. Their life is running and playing! I'd deffinately re-consider. Maybe only adopt one, see how that goes. If you two are feeling that old now, your going to feel a heck of a lot older with 4 at once! If you have to show up to their graduation in a Hover Round...it's probably not the best idea to be adding kids this late in life. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but not if the parents aren't able to give the kids a decent childhood. Which includes being very active. Sorry, but it doesn't sound like you guys are medically in a position to adopt 4 young kids.

Answer 4

eat healthier, start exercising regularly, take vitamins. The kids will take care of the rest. I sure your husband wont have a problem hearing 4 kids running around the house or seeing them when they are about to sit in his favorite chair. And he will be having so much fun throwing the baseball around with the kids h**l temporarily forget his little aches and pains. You know they say kids make you feel young again. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 5

why are you adopting if you are tired???? kids need your 100% attention and if you are tired now then you will be so much more tired when kids come along. bad idea.

Answer 6

I am 43 and have a 3 yr old as well as a 22, 13 and 8 yr old. And I feel your pain!! I would love to tell you that it's easy at our age but I would sooooo be lying. If it were not for the help of the older kids I would be lost. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 7

You can't.  I am 45 and my kids are 8, 4 and 1.  I sometimes wish we had started 10 years earlier but we didnt' and oh well that's the way it is.  What I lack in physical stamina I make up for in maturity, better parenting decisions, and knowledge.

What will help you is to stay as physically fit as possible - it should be easy to stay active with kids in that age groups.  We do a lot of swimming.  Also get very very organized so you don't waste energy on finding things or losing things or getting frustrated over things missing.  It might take awhile but at least start with medical folders for each kid.  Also, get a plastic tote for each of them or maybe 1 or 2 large ones and keep all the school stuff, bd cards, photos, art creations etc in them.  You will be amazed at how quickly that stuff piles up especially once school starts.

Good luck !

Answer 8

Of you are feeling like that at 40 then something is seriously wrong.  Nobody should be falling apart at 40.