Parents think im too young to date?

Question

Im 18 and recently got back with my ex and as happy as can be. This relationship is for real and he and I know it. The only thing is my parents feel I should be concentrating on school more but the last time they got their way on this, he and I broke up because they didnt really like me going out. Now, im going to college in the fall and can drive and have my own car so transportation is not a problem. How can I bring up to them that he is coming to town for 2 weeks and that I plan on seeing him alot and that this relationship is serious? They don't like bringing up the fact that I am dating him to other people while my parent's relationship isn't all that great

Answer 1

This is a classic case of mommy and daddy not being able to handle the fact that you are not a little girl anymore, you are legally an adult at 18. Since you mentioned that your parents relationship is not that great this could be part of their problem with accepting the fact that it is time for them to ease up and give you a certain "right of passage". I gave my mom a birthday card the other day and really liked the jist of what it said...it went something like this... When you were little I walked behind you to watch over you, when you were growing I walking in front of you to guide you, now that you are grown I walk beside you as your friend. Good luck to you as a young adult you will find your way, their time taking care of you as a child is over but as your parents they will always want to give you their opinions, however forcing them on you is not an option or their right at this point in your life.

Answer 2

you do know you are legally allowed to get married,

so why cant you date?

Answer 3

Your 18 your basically an adult and your parents don't have a say in who you date.

Answer 4

they don't think you're too young from what you said, they don't like your boyfriend and they want you to do the best you can in school.

if when you're in university, you balance everything great and are able to get good marks and have all the relationship you want with your boyfriend, your parents shouldn't have anything to worry about because the bottom line is it's YOUR life. however, if you do s**+ tty in uni and see your boyfriend all you want to, there needs to be a change - sure the relationship is 'for real' but you're s******g yourself out of your time at school, your brain, your ambitions, and your money.

it's all about balance, baby.

by the way, i wouldn't tell your parents what exactly your plans are with staying with your boyfriend - i'm in kinda the same situation as you and i just kind of act like the whole situation doesn't exist. if they're grilling you for answers that's different, and then you'll hvae to bring up the whole "i'm an adult" argument. but don't bring it up if they didn't bring it up first.

Answer 5

Haha. I clicked on this in thoughts that I would see a question from a 12 or 13 year old. lol

Well, your parents are wrong. I'm 15 so I wouldn't know too much about it, never having a boyfriend in my life so far. But you're 18, you have the ability to own your own house, drive a car, have children, go to college, and the works. You're an adult. If you have the power to do all of those things, I think dating should be a minor issue. They should be happy that you're dating!

I think you should just tell them that he's coming up. They have no power whatsoever to tell you that you can't see him in that 2 week period. That's like them telling another random 18 year old that they're not ready to date.

Answer 6

Tell them how you feel about Him. And that he makes you happy, and surely they would want you to be happy.

Answer 7

Your parents seem to be conservative and insecure about you. Just tell them to give your your and his relationship a chance and that it's important to you. Say it in a polite and desperate way. Maybe that'll work.

Answer 8

They really can't do anything about who you date since you are legally an adult, but they can still make rules if you live with them.

Answer 9

just tell your parents "well im doing this,and you cant stop me" then just walk out

i wasn't thinking that this question would come from a 18 year old

wow, just talk to your parents

Answer 10

Parents know.  I started dating a guy while I was 17 and we tried to keep it up while going to different colleges. No matter how much you think, people DO change in college. Usually a lot.  After 3 years of dating, my guy changed for the worse, got rebellious, and decided to end things with me.  Put your studies first and try to make the relationship work around that. Best of luck to you!

Answer 11

I'm a parent and I don't  think 18 is to young to date.

yes you need to stay focused on school work.

sit them down and tell them that you really like this guy and you plan to keep seeing him, anyways your 18 going to college and your parents know that.

They are scared to let there little girl go. Take it nice and slow with them and maybe things will work out for you.

good luck

Answer 12

your old enought and can do wathever you want but are you working and paying for your gas do what you want talk to them

Answer 13

Since you are legally an adult, who you date is your own affair and business- and your parents can't do much about it, with one exception. If you live in their house, you need to abide by their rules- and that is what I suspect is causing problems for you right now. So your parents don't approve of your choice of a boyfriend- that means you need to keep the relationship private. Your parents' relationship or marriage is NOT the issue here- your relationship with this guy you are dating is. If your parents don't like talking about your boyfriend because they don't approve of him, then it is something you will have to live with- you can't force them to change, no matter how much you want to.

I would plan on spending your time with your boyfriend away from your parents' house- since you mentioned he is coming in from out of town, it should be easy for you to meet him at wherever he's staying, and plan activities from there. Since you have a car and can drive, you also have the time and freedom to do this- but please, be responsible about it. Don't wreck his life and yours too by doing something like having unprotected s*x and getting pregnant. That will mean the end of whatever plans you have for college- and worse, it could destroy your relationship for good. There will be plenty of time for you to start a family once you are out of school and married, and you both have good jobs, so don't jump ship prematurely and get yourself into trouble now.

As far as bringing up your boyfriend's being in town, I would just simply ask your parents to join you for dinner one night, and not worry too much about it otherwise. If they join you, great- if not, let it go. The important thing is that you and your boyfriend are working on your own relationship, and if you are faithful to one another and make it clear that you are planning your lives together, then your parents will see this and come around eventually. They love you, after all, and they don't want to lose you. It's just that because of the way they were probably raised, they look at things from a very different perspective than you do. In the world they grew up in, girls didn't date guys from so far away- and in fact, they didn't really date them much at all until they were in college. Your parents don't want you to get hurt- and they may feel that your boyfriend is only going to hurt you, or that he's using you for s*x, which is a very common attitude that a lot of parents have. They may worry about what will happen if you get pregnant- it sounds like they aren't interested in supporting either you or a premature grandchild for the rest of their lives, not to mention yours. Your parents also probably feel that they have already raised one family- and they aren't eager to raise a second one, not at this point. All of this plays into how they relate to both you and your boyfriend- and the best way to deal with it is to show your parents how responsible you both can be and are. Your boyfriend needs to be polite and courteous to your parents, and he needs to make a real effort with his appearance and manners if he wants to win them over. He doesn't have to love them, no, but he DOES NEED to get along with them, for your sake as well as his own.

Meanwhile, when was the last time you and your mom had a heart to heart talk about things like men, s*x, relationships, values, etc?? If it's been a while, perhaps you need to think about having such a discussion sometime, especially before you leave for school in the fall. Ditto for your dad. Having a talk like this will give you a chance to allay your parents' natural worries about your safety and what your boyfriend is doing- as well as give them a chance to hear what your plans are for the future. Once they realize that you are indeed serious about your boyfriend, they may be willing to help you out. It's worth a shot, I think.  Good luck- I hope this helps.

Answer 14

If its for real, like you say, then you can put school first and won't have any troubles. Since you broke up when you were separated before, it doesn't sound serious at all. Real love is not forced. It doesn't have to worry or fret about anything.

My brother and his highschool girlfriend did that. He went to school and she studied at home.  Trouble is, in his senior year, she demanded that he quit school and marry her. I even heard her and was shocked but didn't say anything. I mean, he wanted to marry her and we all figured that's what would happen. So, this odd pressure she started laying on him was counterproductive.

So, just focus on school and make sure a guy is good husband material before making a choice. Don't let emotions be so powerful that your brain doesn't think things out anymore. Do nnot be impulsive either!!

Answer 15

You should be more focussed on your school work.  But if he is visiting during school sessions and not on your Summer break, you have to limit your time with him.  Let them SEE you studying and getting your homework done...litel=rally do some of it in front of them so they can see you, and then when your are completely done, go have your fun!  But come home at a good time.  Do all thsi to show yourself as a good  responsible young person, and maybe they will ease up!

Answer 16

In the words of Russel Peters, using the classic "Indian accent" is a perfect way to break tension.  Just walk in them and tell them you're dating this guy, but in an Indian accent.  You can tell them separately so there's not as much tension.

Answer 17

You are 18, so you can legally do whatever you want.

That being said, try looking at it from your parent's view. Do they possibly have a reason to dislike this guy - maybe even a reason you don't know about? Or is it just that they don't want you dating anybody, at all?

In my experience, parents who dislike a guy are generally right on...When I was a teenager I thought I loved a boyfriend who my parents always hated. They never said why, they just didn't like him and always tried to keep me from him. I was SO ANGRY, because I thought he was great, and we were in love, etc. Yeah - It's about 10 years later and he is in prison for armed robbery. Turns out my parents had some good radar that I just didn't have.

If it is just that your parents are not wanting you to date, period - there isn't much you can do other than continue to be honest with them about your intentions (going behind their back will make it worse), make sure they get the chance to see how great your boyfriend is (if he is, I hope so!), and prove to them that you are responsible enough to handle college and a boyfriend. And please remember that college is number one for now, so while you should absolutely live it up, have fun, and spend time with your boyfriend - you need to make sure college stays number one and if you find it is too much to handle, then the boyfriend time needs to get cut before study time. If he loves you, he would understand this and support it because you would be doing what is best for your future.

Good luck!

Answer 18

your an adult just tell them and go do what you gotta do

Answer 19

If your parents are paying for your schooling.. you have to listen to them...    They don't want to waste their money, they want to

give you a proper education..

If you're paying for your education then you have the right to date.

Answer 20

Sit down and talk to your parents and show them that you are an adult and want to be treated like one. You need to make your own choices and mistakes. You do need to worry about school but you can do both, just prove it to them.

Answer 21

haha wow i thought you were gonna be like 12 or 13 too.

Girl, your parents are just looking out for you but you are definetly old enough to take care of yourself and make your own decisions. Even when it comes to boys...

Answer 22

you need to sit and have a serious chat with your parents. they are defenitely looking out for your best interests but you need to let them know how you feel about their rules. you are now young adult and they need to understand that you may have to make minor mistakes in order to experience life and that they have chosen their own and must allow you some room to do your own thing. however if your parents don't like something in particular about this guy tyour seeing then probably you should take note of that as well

Answer 23

nooo! ur an adult now! you can date WHOEVER you want. and ur not young at all. theres like 6th graders at my skool who r dating. ITS CRAZY!

Answer 24

show them how much u like him and try and get the piont across that they cant change it and then just do whtever u like with him and if they try to stop u then tell them that ur old enough to look out for urself and they r patronising u and u can do wht u want.

ignore wht ur parents say about boyfriends parents never want their kids to grow up.

Answer 25

got news for ya sweety, your 18, do whatever you feel is right...its your life and your now responsible for it! good luck

Answer 26

If you are paying for your college and everything else (car and such), then it doesn't matter if they approve of you seeing him or not, just as long as you don't do it in their household. If they are paying for your college, then they have every right to speak of anything which deters you from your studies, it doesn't matter what your feelings for him might be if they interfere with college.

Answer 27

If he's a nice boy then I'm afraid they're going to have to get over it- they can stop you from bringing him to your house but not from seeing him?

Is there any reason that they don't like him (eg drinking, inappropriate behaviour around them, whatever)? If not, how about taking them out to dinner with him, you pay if you can afford it, and explain that your intentions are good- try and let them get to know him a bit more. If he's as serious as he sounds, he should be willing to at least give it a shot.