Parents to a 7 year old please answer?

Question

This may sound silly but I have to ask this question as an outsider. My husbands mother has taken in her granddaughter who is 7. She has raised her for prolly the last 6 years. This child is allowed to do what she wants when she wants and how she wants to do it. My concern is that the child is struggling in school, and is on the verge of being held back beacuse neither grandparent work with her on her school work. She refuses to do the assignments in school so they get sent home then just collect. My other concern is that the child is still taking baths/showers with the grandmother who is 51 years old.

The reason I asked this ? is today she was able to bring friends home from school and that has prompted me to wonder is it right to demonstrate to the child that if you do wrong, you can still have friends over? Is promting this behavior accecptable?

Is there something I can say or do to get them to see the light. As I am becoming very frustrated with the whole situation

Answer 1

I am a Grandmother  raising my daughters 7 year old son.   What I think it boils down to is the Grandmother is physically and mentally exhausted.  We struggle with making our Grandson do his homework, but we do MAKE him do it and sometimes I just want to pull my hair out in the process.  Us Grandparent aged people are NOT designed to raise children anymore,  but we do what we gotta do anyways for the welfare of the child.  We are more lax with Grandchildren then we were with our own kids back in the spry days.   I have a hunch the Grandmother is so tired from raising her own kids and then having to start all over again with another child at her age,  such as I am doing.  I'm 47 years old and I have been raising kids without a break  since I was 17.  Your Mother in law is probably just skating by on the energy she has left to barely cope with what is on her plate in life.  Do you ever offer to help out by taking the child off of her hands for a even few hours?  My guess, this 7 yr old has alot of mental rejection issues being acted out from parental absences. And she may know Grandma is too exhausted to deal with her problems thus getting away with more.  This child needs more direction and maybe Mother in-law needs someone to support her, and help her deal with this,  not critisism but she may need some real time to herself once in a while.  I bet she still showers with her because it is less physical work for Mother in-law to just get the bath over-with.

Answer 2

honestly, i would not give the kid a chose.  My cousin was like that and she is on drugs and stuff now

Answer 3

I just seen this same question but it was a boy living with grandparents...........I still same the same thing.

Why does the grandparents have the little girl for 6 years. Why doesn't the father go over and help his little girl do homework? He is the father!

He gave his rights up 6 years ago . He should let the grandparents raise her as they see fit. It's no longer any of his business if they allow her to have friends over.

Your blaming the granparents for something that is the fathers responsiblity.  'Where is his blame for leaving his child to be raised by grandparents?

Answer 4

Sorry to say it is probably too late.  If she has gotten away with everything with no discipline for the last 6 years, starting now isn't going to help.

Answer 5

If she is 7 then she is in 1st grade, and she can't be failing yet. It can be very overwhelming for grandparents to raise a child. And homework maybe an area they need help.

Why don't you offer to help them? Or at lease let them know that the school might offer assistance to them.

It seems to me that it is really not any of your business if she can have friends over or if she bathes with grandma. Are you raising her??????

Walk a mile in their shoes, no one plans on raising their grandchild! don't sit back and complain and judge, help them.