Parents venting anger through me!?

Question

I have always been the kid who listens to everything my parents say and am the teachers pet for all of my classes (good and bad :P) but it seems like I'm and easy prey because each time my mom gets mad about something she just yells at me for the tiniest thing and adds her problems to it. My little sister isn't helping either because she always gets away with stuff. She never cleans her room, she mocks Mom when shes not looking and when Mom sees the mess she makes she blames her AND me! (my sister is like a tornado...everywhere she goes leaves a trail of disaster...) Like this morning my mom woke me and my sis up (school starts in a few days) at 7AM and I went downstairs to eat breakfast. Except my sister had gone back to sleep and she started yelling that you guyS are so irresponsible...(the S is the key here) and then she started yelling at me for using the computer to much which I understand (I do use the computer but bear with me) but then she started bring up stuff that had nothing to do with me... Ex: I helped Vernon (my uncle) get into school, gave him his first job, etc. and when we need something he ignores?!? (My dad was going to his house to help him put up sheetrock) the only time he talks to relatives is if he's in trouble! etc etc... ALSO about the computer thing...I use the computer to vent the anger she vents through me BUT she gets mad at me for using the computer!!! The only other vent shaft is the piano but I need to make new stuff which is easier said than done! My mom seems never to be happy because she is ALWAYS working ... she makes herself work! Her BREAK time is like gardening or cleaning the house. It helps to have someone to talk to which is my moms friend who is 37 years old. All the other kids my age dont know c**p. Everyone that meets me says im a 30 year old in a 12 year old body. Every week I do chores which is to Sweep, Mop, Vacuum, Clean Bathrooms, and take out the trash. I dont get allowance and I've never owned a game console (not even a gameboy). What also ticks me off is that my lil sister doesnt have to do pretty much anything (only clean her room, but even that she barely does) BUT she gets the same privileges as me... My mom and dad occasionally fight mostly because my mom complains about everything and keeps on dwelling in the past but my dad also gets a little too frustrated. My dad is trying to fix the relationship but mom keeps on moping and etc etc.

Also I would gladly do all those chores no problemo but my mom never lets me rest. My sister is so slow at cleaning so my mom makes me do her stuff too. But I love my parents and hopefully she will be happy.

PS We are financially low BUT were are moving up not down.

Answer 1

You sound like a great kid. You are very observant and understand that your mother is venting her frustrations. Some people thrive on drama and create stress for themselves. If your parents are having problems then they need to talk to a professional you can't fix your parents and shouldn't have to. You are almost a teenager, talk to your parents about how responsible you are and suggest that you might be ready for a few priveledges that your sister isn't ready for. Maybe a later bedtime or PG-13 movies. Your sister is the youngest and gets away with stuff. That's typical. In a few years when she is your age she will have more responsibilities than she has now. I'm glad that you have an adult to help you keep things in perspective. By the way have you thought of cleaning bathrooms as a way to make money. My sister did it when she was your age. With all some moms have to do they don't mind paying someone to clean the bathrooms in their homes once a week.  This would give you a way to earn and save money for extras. My sister  was able to buy her own car when she turned 16. This was my youngest sister, the one who was too young to do dishes and got away with everything when we were growing up,

Answer 2

I know it is hard for you to understand, but your parents love you. I have a boy your age and I do the same thing. I feel bad when I do and do all I can to make up for it. Maybe you should sit and talk with your mom and tell her how you feel. Since you do so much and act responsibly ask for more priviliges, they may not have the money for all the fancy stuff but maybe you could ask for more computer time. When you talk to her tell her how you feel about your sister not having to do so much chores. maybe you could get your sister involved in helping you do yours, make it fun.

But you should realy let your mom know that you feel as though she is dumping all her stuff on you, try not to make it sound like you are mad, just hurt.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like your mom is dealing with a lot of her own issues.  She may not have a good enough way to vent her own frustrations, and since you are there - unfortunately you get the brunt of it.  I am a mom to a 12 yr old myself...and there are times when I too get fed up and end up dumping on her.   Then I feel really bad about it, and I have to go apologize and let her know that it is not HER fault, and that I am just dealing with a lot a stuff  that I took out on her.    You sound like a good kid.....maybe you should try to talk to your mom.  Approach her when everything is calm...and just try to explain how you feel - it may be that she doesn't even realize she is doing it, and you talking about it may make things better for both of you.   I hope that helps