Parents who have adopted?

Question

Hi, this is a question for parents who have adopted a child in closed adoption...

I was wondering what kind of information you receive about the birth parents in a closed adoption. I mean if it was closed, did they disclose any information AT ALL about like the parents' names or where they are living?

I am only asking because I had given my child up for closed adoption and just wondering what they know about me really. I kinda wish I did not do closed because I would like them to know who I am... I have read all these stories where the children search for the birth parents and try so hard to find them....but, do the parents have any information they can help with in that situation from a closed adoption??

Answer 1

My parents were told nothing except my first name and date of birth.   It took me 20 years to find my natural family.

Answer 2

Well I haven't adopted but I am an adoptee, and I would have loved any information on my mother.  I hope you can find them. Good Luck.

Answer 3

We have adopted in three different states, because we are a military, family.

Our oldest two children, we have basic information about their birth parents, including their names, medical history, number of siblings, if there was any drug use during the pregnancy, etc. We even have a picture, of my daughter's birth mom, but both are considered, closed adoptions

Our youngest son, we have all of his history, because we were asked by his mom to care for him. She was unable to parent, so we have since adopted him.

Answer 4

Although the paperwork is closed, I know my son's first parents (lived with me 3 1/2 months before he was born).  Many closed adoptions get copies of the paperwork among the persons involved, however, the paperwork is closed to the public viewing.

Answer 5

I adopted my son through foster care in California. I know his first mother's first and last names and some other information (such as that she loves cats and Mexican food) that my son's social worker told me. I also asked for a picture of her at one of my son's visits prior to TPR, so I have those things for him when he asks. In fact, I have already shared all of that information with him because we talk openly about his adoption and his first mother. I was very scared about sharing any information with him at first because I felt it might somehow jeopardize his relationship with me, but I got over it (thanks in great part to Y!A and the people who post here).

I have already decided that if my son decides to search for his first mother, I will help him. A few years ago I never thought I would have felt that way. I hope that your child's adoptive parents are open with him (her?) and that he knows something about you. Best wishes!

Answer 6

I'm not a parent, but my parents adopted four children. and it depends upon the case, and what you allowed to be told. on some of the kids we knew a lot of things. their names, and where they lived. but on others we didn't even know why they were in foster care. but I'm sure their is a way u could contact  ur kid. but I'm not 100% sure. wish ya the best of luck.

Answer 7

We have a closed adoption in Canada (altho I send mom pics and letters and share art work with her). In ontario canada there is a disclosure law...ottawa childrens aid society MUST give full disclosure about everything they know about the family of origin. This is so very very helpful! They interview the mom and dad about everything the adoptee might want to eventually know and then send us a copy of the interview.

These papers also have everything listed that happened during care while fostering.

They included the full names of the mum and dad (if mum and dad say it is okay to do so), other siblings, health issues, mental health issues, and even a description of grandparents, traits (physical and personality) of the whole family of origin.

It discusses how the child came into foster care, how mum reacted, and how the adoptive parents were found. It is like a novel of history for the adoptee.

We know where the mum is living, her full name, her age, her characteristics at time of adoption, her health issues, and even how she felt about the kids at time of adoption. It is amazing how this knowledge gives us the freedom to recognize her in our lives and celebrate her as best we can. My son loves her so very very much and misses her badly. It is important that I can show him pictures of her, and talk about the whys and hows of what happened. Sometimes it is enough to just say "Wow, your mum is a pretty woman. Now I can see where you get all your handsome/pretty looks!" and he grins from ear to ear, proud of his beautiful mum.

Also, with this info, it will be a heck of a lot easier to help my son and daughter find her when they need too. She knows that I will help them do this...my prayer is that she will be clean from drugs by the time this happens.

Altho  my kids are my kids I have always felt that they were hers too. They will always be both of ours now.

Answer 8

my friend daughter was given up for adoption and the aparents recieved all his information, med. history, name, address, and phone number ... the lawyers said when the child is 14 if the child requests it the information will be provided ... now if the aparents actually do this is a BIG question

Answer 9

I know there's been this big deal about people who haven't experinced it still having opinions and such.

All I know about my closed, private adoption was that my first mother DID sign a paper stating that her info could be disclosed at my request once I turned 18.  

Of course, what they failed to tell her is that it would cost me 500 bucks (for both identifying and non identifying information.)

Again, this is all I know.  I was a private adoption so *I* wasn't allowed to find anything out (officially) until I was 18, but my a-parents met her once as an introduction sort of thing and once at the court hearing finalizing my adoption.

Answer 10

You can contact the agency your adoption went through and write a letter, or even, if you wish, give them an entire packet of information on yourself (such as medical info, likes and dislikes, anything you think might be relevant), and ask that it be passed on to the adoptive parents.  Sometimes they'll follow through, sometimes not.  Make sure you have your name on every possible registry (sorry, I'm not very knowledgeable about that stuff, but I know they exist).  You can always send a letter (again, through the agency) asking the adoptive parents if it would be possible to have a more open arrangement, but depending on their irrational fears or lack thereof, that could be a great move or a disastrous one.

I hope one day you find your child!  Or that your child finds you!