Parents who push their kids to work!?

Question

Ever since I was young to the year 2007 I was depressed, when God delivered me from my depression I felt like a lost child in the world, not knowing what to do or where to start in my life.

Since living with my dad in 2006 the dad daughter relationship never grew, every time I tried to talk to him he would reject me and turn it into an argument. To where now when I ask him a question, he responds with a drama confrontational attitude that’s regarding a job that makes me regret even speaking to him. He has constantly gotten on my case about getting a job and also hurted my feelings a few times because of it and because of his strong personality. I did try a job Once in 2006 by my aunt and his girlfriend convincing me to try a home healthcare job, but because of the pay and something that I wasn’t comfortable with on the job made it last only a month. Since then he’s again started to push me to work, but even when he doesn't I get to afraid to take a step of faith and go out there to look for work because of my fear of not succeeding and me not knowing what I can do because of me not doing anything for years. I’m now 20 years old and am still living with my dad and it has gotten harder for me to find peace iving with him, he has made me feel down, controlled, walked all over, and disrespected. (figuratively speaking, whenever God would be healing a wound in my heart to make me better and stronger, my dad comes and scratches at those wounds to make it harder for me to heal). To me he is just a bad influence on me and is very dominant, prideful, stubborn, and blunt, he's sort of those my way or no way at all type of people. I’m not trying to say that he’s a bad person but if he got to know you and didn’t like certain things about you he would briefly talk about you behind you’re back, but to you he would seem like a nice respectful positive person who’s just trying to do right by his family, which he is in a way. I did learn though that the devil works through people he can easily use to destroy others and that hurting people hurt people, which my dad was hurt by my mom before me my brother and sister moved in with him. I wanted to know how do you overcome a dads strong ways while still living with him, to keep it from bringing you down and also overcome the fear of working? because I'm a sensative person and my feelings get hurt easily. Thank you so much for youre help and advice!

Answer 1

It sounds as if your dad is desperately trying to get you to make something of yourself.  To try and justify his actions by making him your enemy is just trying to justify your own reasonings.  If you dislike him so much, you need to get out.  There are plenty of jobs out there besides home health care....heck, there are even jobs you can work at from home on the computer.  (clarkhoward.com has a list of them)  Finally, I agree with the first answerer:  Get help.   Sitting around and blaming your dad for everything is not going to make you feel better.  Go to your family doctor and get some help, and get out on your own.  You say God has delivered you from your depression, but it sounds like you still need to find some peace.

Answer 2

You are 20 years old you should have a job or atleast be going to college. You can't live off your dad forever. Having a job is part of life. Not sitting on your butt all day complaining. If you are this depressed you should either go see a family counselor and a doctor about getting put on a happy pill. Maybe even both. Get out and make something of yourself. I am 20 years old too and I don't have to work because I worked my *** off since the time I was 13 and also because my husband is in the Army. Take your dad with you to family counseling maybe hearing how he makes you feel from you and from someone else maybe he will get off your case a little and get you motivated to do something.

Answer 3

Don't worry about wether or not you'll get the job,,,You're 20 years old you need a job. get out of your dad's house and make some friends at the job. With independance comes confidence and you'll be fine.. :)

Answer 4

i've been in a similar situation

the way for this to work out well is for you to take responsibility for your life.  your dad is not going to change his ways, and does not need to.

if you got a job and were earning a living for  yourself you would have a little more respect from him and feel more comfortable talking to him.

take an easy job, like mcdonald's instead of home health aid, which does much more gross stuff. or do some office work where your not around people so much or office cleaning.  humble yourself and get a job.  

getting a job, supporting yourself, and getting your own place is the only way that your relationship with your father is going to improve.  he's not suddenly going to change his opinion of your lack of ambition (and hampering his household and budget)