Parents with a 17 year old daughter..?

Question

How would you feel about her telling you that after four months of turning 18 she wants to get married to her boyfriend of a year? By the time comes it will be two years together...Would you support her or no?

& no it would not be a shotgun wedding!

Answer 1

I would encourage her to seek pre-marriege counseling, just to make sure they have all the bases covered. there's a lot people forget to plan for before they get married these days. my husband and I were shocked to find out that some people didn't talk about money or even about children before they were married! you want your daughter to be happy but you also want to make sure she makes the right choices... would it really make that much of a difference to you if she married now or in one year? two years?



I would also encourage both of them to go through college, whether that be together or separate. it's hard enough making it alone without a degree and then tacking a family on there.

Answer 2

thats not good.

she should marry him when she finishes college.

because if you imagine it..

you know..?

Answer 3

I would of course express my concerns, after all, young marriages are more likely to end in divorce, and I believe in waiting until you've had time to really experience adulthood before marriage.

I would of course make sure that she and her boyfriend had talked about things like children and finances, religion, even their opinion on divorce (if things don't work out, it's tricky if one person is against divorce - a friend of my mom is in that situation, her husband is abusive, but neither of them believe in divorce). I would encourage them to go to premarital counseling.

Once I had said all that to her, and reminded her that if they are destined for marriage then they would still be together in a couple of years, I would hug her and tell her that I love her.

I would ask if she wants help planning her wedding, and tell her that she always has a home where I am, should she ever need it. Once she's 18 she's an adult, and she can make these decisions regardless of my personal opinions on the matter. I would of course express my concerns, because otherwise I might regret it, but I would ultimately support her.

All that being unsupportive would do is push my daughter away and potentially damage our relationship. It certainly wouldn't stop her from marrying this man, and at worst it might even push her into it if she were unsure at first.

In a situation like this the best thing to do is lay down whatever thoughts and opinions you might have for her to see, and then stand by *her* final decision.