Parents with a 17 year old.?

Question

How would you feel about her telling you that she wants to get married next summer, to her boyfriend of a year, by the time they do get married she would be 18 and they would be together for two years. How would you feel?

Answer 1

I have two girls who are 18yrs and are going to college in the fall. Both of them have been in long term relationships and I have heard talks about buying apartments with and getting married to their boyfriends in the future. These boys are now long gone out of the picture and they've moved on to new ones and have made her plans.

The long term plans to do these kinds of things don't phase me. I was a teenager once and I remember how romantic it was to dream and "plan" marriage and buying a house etc. For many of us it's just that, a dream. Now if my daughter came to me back in June and said, "Mom I'm getting married this summer." that would have an effect.

I personally feel 18yrs is too young to be married and is very stressful at that age. For most, there's college ahead...lots of experiences to have, memories to make, friends to enjoy them with etc. I think marriage would be a hold back in these situations. Then again, my opinion really wouldn't matter. At 18yrs, she's an adult and can do as she pleases, regardless of what I think.

Answer 2

Tell her fine if she wants to get married go ahead but then say " just don't ask us to help with the kids, money, house and the thing that every marrige comes to a DIVORCE

Answer 3

I would suggest giving her more freedom, like said above. Maybe she is trying to rebel against you, so if you give her more freedom, she might realize what a big mistake she is about to make.

If she is still planning on doing this, you should talk to her and let her know that marriage is sacred. It is for only true love. If she honestly feels like that with her boyfriend, then she should marry him. But only if she is 100% certain.

Or maybe this is the type of thing that she just needs to do so she can learn from it. Hopefully she will realize that she is still too young and needs more time to live life.

Good luck with her.

Answer 4

I don't have a 17 year old, but I was 17.  I was going to do the same thing.  Thank God I never did.  We ended up breakup, getting back together, and breaking up again.  I wish she would reconsider, you don't know what you want at 18.  Maybe if you gave her more freedom, she would not feel pressured into marriage.  Ugh, hope things work out.

Answer 5

im 16 and i felt like that with my boyfriend... i'll be 17 soon. but i decided to wait til 21 b/c then we know each other more than juat a year. she'll probably change her mind but dont pressure her. she has all this year to realize if thats what she really wants to do.

Answer 6

Since they are willing to wait till next summer, I wouldn't be too worried yet.  At 17, a year is a long time, there are a lot of changes during that last year of high school, and they may not stay together that long.  If they are still together a year from now, and they are both over 18, you can't stop them from getting married.  But I would hope they wait a while to have children, and I would encourage your daughter to get some education beyond high school so she can take care of herself financially and have a life of her own, married or not.

Answer 7

I started dating my husband at sixteen, got married at eight teen, and two years later I'm still happy as can be =)