Parents with babies and toddlers: How do you keep your balance and everyone happy??

Question

Just wondering how to manage this... I am the very proud mommy of a little 2 1/2 year old guy and a 3 week old little guy. I am finding it crazy trying to juggle both kids and have time for each. Riley (my newborn) needs my full attention, which has had a pretty negative effect on my toddler so far. Brody (my toddler) used to be outgoing, not clingy, independent ect. Since the new baby he is 'needy', clingy, crying constantly... I am feeling I am losing my ground here. I try including him when changing baby, feeding, ect. He seems to do good at first and they tries to do something to get trouble. I am at wits end and need help...

Please help?!

Answer 1

He is 2. It won't be like this forever.

Just make sure he has lots of time alone with either you or Dad (preferabley you!) When baby is asleep is a great time if you are not too tired!

Answer 2

I am in EXACTLY the same situation right now, so don't feel like you're doing anything wrong.  What you describe is happening in my house as well, so it MUST be common.  My daughter just turned 2, and my TWINS are 7 weeks old.  The first 4 weeks after the twins were born were the worst.  My daughter, who used to be quite content on her own, would now scream and grab on to me if I even tried to walk across the room or use the bathroom!  My pediatrician's advice was not to show my frustration and get angry.  She also said that my 2 year old shouldn't always come first, but to be sure that she still does a lot of the time because the babies can usually wait.  That went against my instinct to let the babies come first most of the time, but it has worked.  My daughter is pretty much back to her normal self!

Good luck, and trust that you're not alone in this!!!

Answer 3

As you know, my boys are almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart.  I guess I'm lucky because Brandon has been a real big helper.  He LOVES to stick the pacifier in his brother's mouth.  I figured that as long as what Brandon is trying to do isn't going to hurt his brother then I'm not going to say anything.  I've tried to keep having a brother a positive experience.  Did you happen to start saying "no" to Brody more often once Riley came home?  Even if it's only a few minutes I always try for quick things together, like coloring, reading a short book, or dragging a few trains across the floor.

Also, when dad is home in the evenings he is constantly playing with them both.  He's often holding the baby with Brandon crawling all over him, lol.  Brandon loves bath time so at night we always make sure that he gets that time with one of us.  If Hubby is out in the garage or doing something in the yard he always takes Brandon outside with him and he loves that time.

Hopefully as Riley gets a little older he won't be quite so needy and Brody will grow into his role of big brother.  Good Luck.

Answer 4

Good luck! I'm so happy my kids are 4 and 6 now. It's tough just try to keep your head together, how about setting up a schedule where everyone including yourself gets some time alone with you.

Answer 5

welcome to being a mom of two

what can I say? I'm from the old school that says that children should not be indulged - sounds like you are doing your best and trying to be fair to the older one.

He will just  have to get used to the fact that now he has a sibling. Don't let him play up too much or he will think that he can do that always and get a result. Maybe it's time for the 'because I said so/this is how it is' tack - it may sound harsh but even little kids need to know the boundaries and when enough is enough.

Don't forget about time for yourself and time for you and your partner too.

Answer 6

I love your kids names, by the way. Make sure Brody has some one on one time with you. I know it's hard, but even if it's just a quick coloring session, he needs mommy. This will get much easier. My first two are 20 months apart. I went through this same thing. You're doing a good thing by incorporating Brody in helping with Riley. He just has to get used to having to share the attention. When I was in your shoes, I asked my mom what the heck I was suppose to do when they both needed 110% of my attention. She answered, " You have to realize your two year old doesn't understand what is going on. It would be like your husband bringing home another wife and expecting you to understand and share his affection". I guess that could be true. But, just hang in there. It's normal and gets much better.

Answer 7

when I had my baby my son was 3 years and 4 months old  Now before i went on maternity leave I had him in daycare because i worked full time.  So when I went on leave we put him in day care 3 days a week instead of 5 and it was great.  I had time to baby the baby and sleep when the baby slept.  then the days my little guy was home I took both kids to the park and he loved coming home telling the baby about his day and telling the baby when he gets older he will be in the same daycare and he is going to love having Mrs. Yolanda and it was great it even looked like the baby was interested.  And my 3 year old loved helping me bathe the baby and getting pampers he also loved his new shirts in 5 different colors that said proud big brother.  He wore one everyday so the world could know he had a baby brother.  it was great now that he is 4 and the baby is 14 months and I am 6 months pregnant they fight all the time;  the four year old does not want the baby touching his stuff and the baby wants to be like him so bad.

Answer 8

I went through this everytime we had a new baby.  It helps if you keep talking to Brody, even though you're doing somthing with the new baby. Ask him to do things and distract him - like, "Brody, could you bring me your favorite book so I can read to you?" etc... And you can read stories while holding the baby too - Have Brody help turn pages.  Just little things liek this help. It does get better - it won't stay this way.

Do a lot with Brody while baby is sleeping too - that is his special time with mommy. It's all you can do.

Hugs,

Lynnae

Answer 9

its hard,ive 3 and well my older two 6 and 4 were so used to having so much time with me they find it hard now my youngest is now a year old so it is getting easier, just make as much time as you can with your toddler when the baby is asleep, he is looking for your attention by getting into trouble so try be understanding of this but it will get easier when the baby feeds less and can amuse themselves for a while but yeah its hard going at times maybe if you could get someone to take the baby for a walk and spend some extra time with him that way or take them both out to the park the baby will probably sleep in the buggy if you time it well between feeds and your toddler will be able to have your attention for a while .feel free to email me if you need a chat sometimes it helps to see your not alone

Answer 10

that's what happens when you have your kids close together. sorry if that sounds rude but it's true. your son's behavior is normal he just wants your attention he went from being the center of your attention to having to share mommy it's hard on him. when your youngest is asleep try spending extra time with him. you can even go somewhere special with him and have your husband keep the other baby at home.  I hope this helps

Answer 11

i have six kids.

try to get your husband/boyfriend to have some time alone with brody. keep doing what your doing, keeping him incuded, and congratz!