Parents with special needs children?

Question

Having a special needs child , how was your experience with preschool and/or public school?

Answer 1

We have, so far, had no trouble with the public school.  The teachers have been excellent.  The only real trouble we've had has been getting and keeping a 1-on-1 aide (two of them only lasted a couple of weeks).  The lady who works with her now has lasted over a year now, and wants to work with her next year.  After reading through the other responses, it sounds like we've been pretty lucky.  

(Full disclosure here:  I have a degree in Special Ed; if anyone ever did try to mess with my daughter's education, I know my rights very well!)

Answer 2

It was the worst nightmare of my life. At the beginning I actually received a letter from his kindergarten teacher calling him too stupid to be in school!! I fought back tooth and nail and I was nasty about it. Finally after a LONG fight, and contacting the state superintendent's office in Oklahoma, my son FINALLY began getting the help he needed. He is now 10 years old, in 4th grade, special ed, speech, OT and PT, and the school bends over backwards to please me. Its really nice now, but I think there must be a HUGE warning letter in his file saying Beware of His Mother!! LOL!!!

Answer 3

Diabolical, the schooling system just don't know how to deal with special needs.  They don't seem to realise that children are not clones even though the government would like to have us think so.  Each special needs child needs individual help, there is no set formula.  Basically the School can't be bothered with the individual needs of the children, it often appears that it is too much of any inconvenience for them.  My wife and I had to fught for everything for our child.  Even now my child has left school now, things haven't changed we're still having to fight for everything with the authorities.

Answer 4

i can personally answer this because i had a very difficult time in school. i have a learning disability and the teachers really wouldnt try to give me any extra help. especially in high school, the school/county system only pays attention to honors students and lets the other fall behind.

private school was much more demanding. i went to both a private and public school and both are really difficult to find decent teachers.

Answer 5

Well...it's great when the school follows the IEP.

I think it's difficult to completely mainstream a child who is not at grade level for certain subjects. - Even if they give the child a para- it's still hard to modify work if the child is NOT at grade level.

As my child gets older, it gets more difficult. I await the day where I don't have to deal with the IEP. I can deal with a job coach, and the real world better....

No matter how nice, or how kind the school can be- the trust is NOT there.

Answer 6

I have a son who is 9 and autistic.  I have had no problems with the school district so far.  So far, our district has done exceptionally well with my child and his needs.  I think the fact I can walk into an IEP meeting with resources and information to back up my requests for the things I request for my son is very helpful.  Being a positive advocate for my child is a benifit when dealing with the school district.

Answer 7

. Horrifying.

We had a diabetic foster child in one public school. We were treated as a burden to the school, not as parents who paid the taxes that paid their salaries. The school nurse had antiquated methods and outdated information. She attempted to have us removed as foster parents when we complained. We had to keep our child's endocrinologists and social worker on speed dial for dealing with this woman. The child was actually forced to eat away from the other kids and many other stupid actions were taken to restrict her rights and ours. Thankfully she found a home in another school system where a diabetic teacher took a special interest in her.

My biological child was having trouble concentrating. She was diagnosed with ADD in kindergarten. (She was five. How do you know if a five year old has ADD? They are supposed to be excitable and have small attention spans.) We were told to put her on medication. We asked for behavior modification, like timers and TURNING OFF THE TV that was kept on during non-instructional class time. They refused. The principal explained to us that a parent who would not medicate was neglectful. It was a threat. We complied. We fought tooth and nail for an IEP. We tried everything. Finally, in the third grade, we gave up. My daughter could not read, or do basic math. She was gaunt, somber and pale from the medications. (They are appetite suppressants. Her growth was permanently stunted. We were told she was pixie like. People thought it was cute. But I cried at night. She was nearly gray and nothing but skin and bones.) We took her out of school. We homeschool now and will never deal with another public school again.

Our daughter, it turns out, does not need medication at all. She's doing fine under our tutelage. What they insisted they could not do, we've done. We taught our child to read and we did it without pills.

EDIT: My husband works with special needs adults, so we were apt advocates for both children. This led us to wonder what becomes of the families who are not as versed in the rights of their special needs kids.

Answer 8

Horrible. My child struggled from K-2nd grade before I took her out to homeschool.

I tried to get help from the school and I learned that they lied to me, violate state and federal laws all the while being intimidating and hostile toward me.

The administrators made the teacher stop having any contact from me. I wrote and told principal that this was violating IDEA law because it was preventing me from advocating for my child.

SO many things the school did wrong. They also did these very same things wrong  with my older daughter 4 years earlier. I found out they have a 'system' to get out of testing ANY child to see if they can qualify for special ed.

I notified the state dept of education about this WITH WRITTEN PROOF when I filed numerous state complaints.

The state ignored all of it. WHen I finally took my child out of school the teacher told me 'I am so sorry, the administrators just would not let me help your child'.

I have over 8 yrs of horror stories involving 2 children and one grandchild in 3 different school districts and 6 different schools and dealing with over 40 school employees AND the state dept of education who ALL said and did the same things!!

If you would like more info email me  [e-mail] because it's too much to tell here.

You can also learn about the horror and corruption of special ed in public schools from these sites

www.wrightslaw.com

www.reedmartin.com

www.specialedlaw.blog.com

www.schwabas.org

Answer 9

We live in So. Cal and have a 13 year old who is mildly autistic and has been in special programs (preschool and on) He entered the state monitored education program when he was four and has been on IEP (Individualized Education Program) ever since. As far as our treatment from "the System" has been great. We have also been very involved in his day to day schooling ie parent participation. I have heard horror stories from other parents about poor treatment and lack of services, but our experience has been great.   I will add though that it is clear to me that we could have easily been ignored or mishandled had we not been so vigilant about doing our own research on our son's disabilities and recommended treatments( including discovering emerging techniques the internet is a life saver!)  I would have to say that your experience will be directly related to your involvement, energy and positive attitude !!!

Answer 10

Well, Depending on what you know and how much of it you know. It should be an easier experience, but it will get difficult as time goes on and laws change and your child changes schools.  

     I believe that your experience  will be based on how much push you have for your child, and how much the school Personnel is willing to help your child, But I would say that it is best to know the laws and what's acceptable and whats not  when it comes to  your child and stick to it...  there are schools that are wonderful and there are schools that are dreadful. See what your child needs and look at schools that have it. I would recommend smaller schools because the class are better when the teacher has time to focus on your child when your child needs them...

    I have a brother who  has Downs Syndrome and I have a Learning Disability, so I know how the schools work from the Students point of view, I also know how it works on the Law side because of my mothers organization; she is an Advocate and she helps parents that have children with special needs.  I have been working with her as a Youth Advocate. I have finished school and I had a little bit of trouble getting what was stated in my IEP but I made sure that it was given to me. for secondary school I was in a Charter School that was just starting so it was a very small setting and for HS I was in Public HS that was also small my senior class only had 25 students; even tho I had trouble it was not that bad, thats why I recommend schools that have a small class size, because I feel like the teacher can connect with the student on a more personal level and understand what that student may need to help them in school...

Answer 11

I am a senior in High School and an Aid in the Special Ed help room at my school. Most of the people in any of the special ed classes are only there because they are lazy and don't try so they say they have a reading disorder or soemthing when they just know that if they don't do it someone will pretty much do it for them and it seems like the people that really have needs get pushed aside because lazy people are always causing problems

Answer 12

Mixed. Dealing with the school where my son attended kindergarten (when the existence of his dysgraphia asserted itself) was a nightmare. I kept insisting he needed OT services, and kept asking for evaluations. I kept hearing that he had behavioral problems and that I was overly indulgent. I finally threatened to get the media involved (a threat I could back up, as I have family members who are part of the local media), and they suddenly agreed he needed evaluating.

Our school placement changed the following year, and I have to say the teachers and administration at the school he attends now have gone above and beyond the call of duty to accommodate his needs and to educate themselves about dysgraphia, since it's a rarer LD.

But this is his last year of elementary school, and I'm quaking in my boots about what awaits him next year. The kids are coming into those obnoxious tween years as well, and he's starting to have some social problems. I hope he'll receive the support he needs come August.

Answer 13

In a word..........AWFUL!  I have 2 sons.  Both are intelligent, one at genius level.  However, both have extreme medical issues & had to have Section 504 Plans.  (One son had Epilepsy, since outgrown.  The other is totally deaf in one ear-the one at genius level.)  I had to constantly fight the administrators to get the teachers to implement the Section 504 accomodations.  Since I've been a Special Ed. teacher for 25 years, I knew how to make them implement the accommodations, but it was a hassle!  I am sorry for parents of special needs kids who don't have my background in the field, because they REALLY have a hard time.  I'm currently working with one of the parents to guide her through the legalese, inform her of her rights, etc.