Part 2: I tried to divorce my wife and she found out, etc.?

Question

What do I do about the woman i planned on leaving my wife for? We were totally happy and in love and planned out our future together. Now I've had to cut off all contact with her and I feel horrible. She keeps trying to call and email me and all i can say is that I'm trying to keep my family together. But i feel bad about the whole thing.

Answer 1

Good for you for trying to make this work.  Yes, you need to cut off all ties.  Change your email, phone number, anything you need to do to cut off that contact.  Without doing so, you will never succeed at your marriage.  You made a promise to your wife when you married her, honor that and stick to it.  The beginning is the hardest part but it can work out.  If you want more info, plz email me.

Don't feel bad, affairs are a fantasy world...not reality.  The other woman I'm sure knew you were married, she knew what she was getting into.  Don't worry about her and no, u are not in love with her...you are in lust with her, huge difference.  Think of your wife and kids, they deserve 100% of you.

Answer 2

That makes no sense. If you want to leave your wife then leave her, obviously if you were to divorce her she'd find out! There is no such thing as a "secret divorce". Please don't try to claim your staying to keep your family together, having an affair and planning to leave is much worse then actually leaving and staying out of guilt will not make anyone happy. If you are in love with your wife you wouldn't have cheated and planned out a whole new future with someone else, but I do acknowledge that people make mistakes and if you truly want to work on your marriage because you want to remain faithful and committed to your wife then you need to forget the other woman and cut off all contact. Change your e-mail and phone number, if she continues get a restraining order - that should certainly get the point across.

Answer 3

Go to a mariage counslor. Cut all ties from the other woman if you really want to make a go of it with your wife and children. If you can't keep from cheating then divorce your wife. It is not fair to her or your children. Only you can decide where your heart is. I am sure with your kids. But, does the other woman have kids? Could she be a good step mother to your kids. Divorce is a sad thing . And the ones who are hurt the most from it is the kids.It takes a lot of giving and taking in relationship and often more taking. There has to be trust, respect, communication, love and the help from God to make a  marriage work. If you don't have these things in your marriage you are doomed. Good Luck to you. How low have you bee married?  

Answer 4

Do you know how many times I have picked up the phone and wanted to call him? Their therapist recommended to cut off all contact with me and his wife said if she found out he evern said one word to me, it was over. Do your children know about her ?