Partner doesn't understand ?

Question

I am 16 weeks pregnant now and suffer from bipolar. I am going to therapy because the meds were too dangerous to the baby and i need it. i have trouble working because i'm always exausted and hurting physically. my boyfriend doesn't seem to get the clue that saying hurtful things like calling me lazy and selfish really hurts now more so with being pregnany.He is always on me about working more. He doesn't show that he is excited in anyway about the baby. I'm feeling hopeless at this point. What do I do?

Answer 1

shouldn't have got pregnant in the first pleace this is why people are miserable after a baby they dont plan right  

Answer 2

i would sit down and talk to him bout it.. let him know that him saying those hurtful things isnt nice and its not helping any.. let him know exatcly how you feel.. he may not act like he is excited cause he doesnt want to show you his real feelings.. i hope everything works out.. good luck with everything..  

Answer 3

16 weeks pregnant

bipolar

boyfriend that doesn't want a kid

I am so sorry!!!

Answer 4

tell him that he got you knocked up so he should shut up.. no just kidding.. tell him that what he says hurts.. and if you already have, keep reminding him. tell him exactly how you feel!!

Answer 5

Have a sit down with him and tell him how you feel and that he should be the one helping you get through it.

Answer 6

You either have him go to therapy with you so he can be explained how serious the situation is;

tell him exactly where he can shove it when he tells you anything about being lazy;

or do not be around him. Tell him you and your baby's health are more important to you than being around an unsupportive boyfriend. If he loves you, he will get the huge hint you are throwing at him and try to make things better which could include going to a therapy session with you - maybe one for couples?  

Answer 7

Have him go to thereapy w/you.

Answer 8

It doesn't matter what your boyfriend thinks. What does your husband say about it.

Answer 9

I hope your Bi-Polar Disorder is being closely monitored because, you need to give your boyfriend legal permission to talk with your therapy team.

While I am not implying, that you are lying to your boyfriend, lying is a part of Bi-Polar Disorder..

I am saying this because, I was engaged to a woman with Bi-Polar Disorder.  She lied to me, tried to commit suicide and, blamed me for all her problems.

Despite all that, your boyfriend should definitely be more supportive.

Answer 10

tell him he should be more supportive... he is the one that got you pregnant in the first place.

Answer 11

Leave him. You don't need that. He should be more understanding. Maybe he'll take a hint if you tell him to leave.

Answer 12

Take him with you when you go to the therapy and let him find out what it does to you

Answer 13

he is being a d**k!

have you told him you are thinking about

the baby and he should to?

Answer 14

I'm so sorry to hear about your problem!  Congratulations on being pregnant.  I have a friend who is bipolar and couldn't take her meds when she was pregnant either.  That's good that you're going to therapy.

As far as your boyfriend goes, that's terrible for him to be saying those things to you pregnant or not!  Depression, etc. is hard for people to understand unless they've actually dealt with it themselves, that's not an excuse for him to treat you badly, but it's a possible reason.  You've got a long road ahead of you, you guys are just going to have to learn to live with your new situation.  You should ask your therapist for some suggestions.  Will your boyfriend go with you to see the therapist, that might help too.

I have a 2 year old son.  I remember being upset with my husband      a lot of the time I was pregnant, especially in the beginning, because I fealt like he wasn't as excited as I was, etc.  Then I read something in a pregnancy book that helped me.  I'm paraphrasing...

To a pregnant woman, the baby is all they can think about because it is actually inside of her, therefore everything the woman does effects the baby, its instant bonding.  The man doesn't have that and really doesn't start bonding with the baby until the mother's belly gets really big and the baby is kicking, etc. and sometimes the bonding doesn't take place until after the baby is born.  It's just different for men, not to say that they aren't happy about it, it's just not a constant thing on their mind yet.  Women bond well with the baby mentally, its more of a physical bonding experience for men, therefore when they can actually see the baby they feel more excited about it.

You may also want to go on the Internet and search for websites with help for bipolar mothers-to-be.  I'm sure there's some kind of helpful website out there, maybe even one where you can chat with others that are going through the same thing you are!

Good luck to you!