Passive voice in writing.. how to fix this?

Question

"Just being allowed to call the white boy by his first name, and being encouraged to think of him as a friend, even an equal, startled him."

On Word, it says I am using passive voice, which I kind of understand, but I don't know how to fix this particular sentence to give it active voice. Or is it okay as is?

Answer 1

Get a wolf icon.

Answer 2

How's this?

He was being allowed to call the white boy by his first name, encouraged to think of him as a friend, even an equal. It startled him.

Hope it helps.

Answer 3

Well, you don't use passive voice when writing an essay or something academic unless it's creative writing. From the excerpt you gave, it sounds like you are doing creative writing. So it's okay for passive voice to be used. If it is creative writing for school, then I believe it's okay. But if it is a research paper then you shoud fix it right away.

Answer 4

It's up to you! Do you really like it as it is, or do you want to change it? How does it fit in with the rest of the paragraph? Sometimes as an author you have to follow your own instinct. Passive voice isn't wrong, (even though word thinks it is!) it's just a different way to phrase things.

I like it!

Answer 5

At first Me being able to call the white boy by his first name, to think of him as a friend was totally new thing, to think of him as an equal startled me.

(just kind of guessed here)

Answer 6

The sentence does not tell us who performed the allowing and encouraging.

Consider the following:

Henry was startled when the white boy not only allowed, but encouraged him to think of each other as friends and equals.  

I found this explanation on the net.  It is an easy read.

http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/...

Answer 7

Passive voice is not always a "bad thing." Sometimes it is necessary, and is even more effective than active voice.

Grammar checkers are notoriously unreliable.  They are computer programs that lack human judgment and are incapable of "thinking" subjectively, and therefore frequently give poor advice.

In the case of your sentence, an alternative could be:

It startled him when the white boy allowed him to call him by his first name and encouraged him to think of him as a friend and even as an equal.

This gets rid of the passive voice but it now sounds stale and loses some of the emotional meaning.

I think your original sentence is fine as written.