People find me rude because I'm untalkative and shy :(

Question

I'm a shy person, and I'm very untalkative unless I know and feel comfortable with people. (I also have little self confidence)

People often mistake this for me being rude, and their first impression or impression of me at all, is low.

I feel like other people who are shy though, are accepted this way, and people understand that they are shy.

This confuses me. Maybe I look confident? I really don't know :(

I also get stuck for words a lot of the time. Im not good speaking to people, because my confidence is low.

I wondered if anyone else had this trouble with people? Where they are mistaken... :(

Thank you everyone

Answer 1

I am the same exact way! I am very shy and quite. I don't really talk unless I am spoken to, Some people think i am pissed off when they first meet me and they also think I am rude for not being talkative. I don't get it. I am the way I am. People either like you for who you are or they don't. Those who don't probably just don't understand. Keep being you, there is no shame in being shy or quite, its just being you.

Answer 2

Ok, here's what you do, get a plain T-shirt and get a phrase like "I'm not rude, I'm just shy" put on it.  People will smile at you, It will break the ice and open conversation with people and then when you don't talk they'll know your just shy!

Answer 3

I know what you mean that has happened to me for as long as I can remember. I remember this girl didn't like me because she said I thought I was ALL THAT. haha I didn't understand. I know maybe because I don't smile that much people think that I think that I am better than everyone else but i really don't think that at all I am just uncomfortable.

Yah I feel like people recognize other people shyness for a cute good thing and mine as a bad one but i really have no idea. I try when i catch myself looking mean or being too quiet, I try to smile, it helps to build confidence and I also think things in my head first like, what should I talk about, who am i going to talk to, just don't memorize a speech, it always comes out wrong.

Good luck, I feel ur pain ^_^  

Answer 4

how are you rude being untalkative and shy? thats like calling me rude

Answer 5

You know what - I am a shy person too and I can tell you that once people get to know me they are blown away about how wrong their first impressions actually were.  I just don't let it bother me anymore because I know that they will come around in the end.  You have a lot to offer so stop worrying about what impression you are making.  Work hard at eye contact and keeping the conversation going.  I don't know about you but I am a really good listener and people seek me out when they have problems.  Also the reason why I like answers so much!  I am good at helping people!  You also need to find something you are good at and this will help with your self esteem but us shy people always need to push ourselves out of our comfort zones.

Answer 6

I have the same problem. I just tell people I'm a shy person.

Answer 7

How do you know they think you are rude. If you know they do. Give a few compliments. You don't need to be talkative to give compliments. Say they have nice shoes. "You are a good cook" "I like you'r tie" Some people are just used to being around talkative people, it might have to do with culture but its usally being stubborn.Im sure you're not rude in fact i bet you are a marvelous person. I hope things get better after you have read this paragraph.

Answer 8

hehe I am just like this.