People have asked me how I turned out so sweet and nice when my parents are so horrible.?

Question

The only problem I have with my dad is he just sits there and doesnt ever defend me. My mother has this thing where she makes a giant scene and speech to make me feel guilty. I think she does it on purpose. I caught her doing it one time and I twisted things around to make HER feel bad. This and other things that she says really get to me and have led to my cutting, low self esteem, and not being able to fully trust anyone. I think she knows I cut. Shes seen the cuts before. I dont know if she knows and doesnt care or if she thinks the cuts happened accidently. I ignore my parents problems so why should they listen to me? We dont treat each other very well.

I wanted to know if this will affect me negatively when Im older. I'll be 13 next week btw.

Answer 1

Stay strong. I grew up with parents I never got along with also. Just try to stop the cutting. Excersise can give you a similar rush.

I turned out normal BTW

Answer 2

Your parents are abusing you. In order for you to have healthy relationships with anyone, you must seek counseling. Go to someone you trust and ask them to help you get free counseling some where close by. This may help you now and in the future to stop cutting, to maintain and get new relationships and help with you self esteem. It doesn't matter what your parents are thinking about when they abuse you, all that matters is the fact that they are abusing you. Tell someone immediately.  

Answer 3

Please go and talk to a therapist.  I am now 36 and I have had a similar thing said to me by a psychiatrist (It's amazing that you turned out relatively well for having two personality disordered parents)  LOL

I went through cutting and a bunch of things in the past (drugs, alcohol, violence).  I wish I had someone, anyone to talk to me and listen to me or even suggest that I needed some type of help.  It took a long time to get to where I am from where I was.

The poor relationship with your parents can and will affect your future relationships IF you let it.  You may be an angry type person and people won't want to be around you or needy/insecure and afraid to trust people.  Take the focus and the power away from them and just concentrate on you.

Please stop cutting-you will hate to look at the scars when you are older, trust me on that one.  If you feel you have to cut grab two ice cubes and hold them in your hands-burns like h**l and gives you that same pain sensation without the cuts.

Answer 4

Darlin', you need psychological help.

I'm not saying you're screwed up in a crazy way, I mean this is just unhealthy. Cutting could kill you.

Answer 5

I grew up in a similar situation. You are a strong individual, though it may not seem that way to you. Don't cut yourself, hurting yourself only leads to difficulty in the future. I wrote poetry to help deal with my feelings. My suggestion would be to seek help from your school. They have people that can set you up woth counseling and if the situation deems it they can find you a new home. As far as negitive effects from what you are experiencing from home, low self worth and esteem, trust issues, avoidant personality disorder, high stress, and the list goes on and on. Get help hun.

Answer 6

First you need to stop cutting yourself your life is to important and i know how it is to grow up with a crazy parent you just got to learn from there mistakes and make it a point to make your life nothing like there's make it better!

Answer 7

OMG your a little girl!! YOur parents LOve you!! and I think if your mom knew you were cutting yourself she would definitley bring it up and maybe take you to see a doctor.  Your parents are probably so torn and hurt and feel the smae way you do..Everyone hates their parents when we are teenagers and think nothing but my parents are the worst and their are all out to make our lives miserable, but its not true and you'll realize that  10 years down the line.  I agree with the guy up there that said you need help BUT in a nicer way, you do, you are too young to be going through all this and feeling this way and cutting yourself is absolutely a sure sign tht you need to see a doctor. Please talk to someone soon very soon. Good Luck with everything